MY TOP 6 NEW YEAR RESOLUTIONS IN 2013

By William Dekker

2012 is now History, almost to everyone except me who is haunted by memories of my fast elapsing 366 days, this leap year. What a year! But at least am done with it, so I will refrain from crying over spill milk. The modest thing here to do is to come up with my “New year resolutions” as much as I don’t verily understand the concept of that phrase. Perhaps, this is my concept, if at all am good enough to digest the true meaning of “New Year resolutions”.

1. DROP THE MOTTO: WE SHALL MEET AT THE GRADUATION SQUARE

I commit to improve my class attendance from my previous constant rate of 6% to 13%. I bet that more is a double-rate improvement. Finally, those who might have wondered if am ever seen at the SRs, LTs and LRs will have an opportunity to see me re-surface. Were it not for this first resolution, from 1st year to my final, we would have only met once at the Graduation Square. But IRD kama kawaida; distance learning or continuous skiving till “serikali iingilie kati”

2. REDUCE THE NUMBER OF “SOUPS”

It’s high time I gave my transcripts a new look, courtesy of 2013. Bet me, I commit to reduce the number of “soups” and asterisks on my esteemed transcript; probably from 7 to 5. Wow! Two massive improvement!. Though, am sure this would be tall order for me. I’ll need to work extra hard, and put in a lot more sacrifices e.g. I can’t even mention; not frakaz, not UEFA! Or, I’d rather stick to my “<40%” because that’s where I honestly belong. No pains!

3. RESCHEDULE MY DATE WITH FRAKAZ

I’m already in tears while putting this down. On my! Will this really work? Even the attendants at this “my home away from home” know that they are destined to reserve me numerous bottles for Monday…Wednesday…Thursday…Friday…Sato and Sunday. So who expects me to tell them “nimeokoka siku tatu” n will only be drinking on Wednesday, Thursday and Friday? NOOOOO! How will I eliminate the Monday blues? Frakaz pap! Weno si “ladies nyt” and am obliged to actively participate. Thursdays I’m always agenda-less so I have to go for the substitute agenda; mututho! Friday? No comment! Sato is obvious! Sundays; I have to recharge in order to face another hell of a week, so am not sure which day to abstain apart from the usual terrific Tuesday; which has alcohol taste like “duck sweat” jeeez!!!

4. EXILE NO MORE

I am so sure my “roomie” is singing “Hallelujah” somewhere as he reads this. Pheeew! Finally, he won’t suffer the wrath of my “active-age”. I commit not to exile him anymore. His weekends shall never be the same again. No cries, No woes, No silent torture! I remember how I used to torment him this year, as soon as I get to business; from Friday night to Sundaaaaaay…..oh my! I guess I won’t have any business with the empty "Hostel A.T.Ms”. People, remember it’s me who used to take them down as soon as they were refilled with C-word. Ahem!

5. ALWAYS SEND 80% OF HELB TO MUM

Mum, I commit to bestow upon you; the powers to receive and consume, 80% of the HELB Loan disbursed to my inactive bank account. I’ll spend the remaining 20% wisely; 1. To purchase you people back at the village gifts as the semester closes down; 2. Send pocket money to my Form 2 girlfriend, and purchase some “kitenge clothes” for her current step-mother. At least with that my “future” role is guaranteed. The rest of the amount I’ll use to purchase some local grade goats. Please, take good care of them(goats) since I’ll use them as dowry the soonest I graduate.

6. ABANDON HOSTEL “J” AND STICK TO MY “H”

Finally, the Janitor and Security Personal won’t have a rough time anymore; battling my inevitable dominance in the female’s Hostel J. For the past two semesters of the previous academic year, I broke the 10 to 10 rule, innocently. It wasn’t an intentional breach of the institution’s accommodation laws, I blame it on “nature and age.” This things at times just seem to me unavoidable. Three quarters of the semester I spent my nights in Hostel J, year and of course “days” as well…oops! I commit to bear the atmosphere in H, the hustle and bustle of a ghetto zone since here is where I belong. Lakini enyewe, kikiumana; J pap!

THAT WAS MY CHRISTMAS

By Wangechi Kahiro

No one likes a party popper, a buzz kill, the jinx to an anticipated even. No one likes that person who updates hateful messages on their face book status when it’s Christmas. In fact if you get hit by a car on this day, its better you keep it to yourself until the Boxing Day. For this one day you are expected to put everything aside and just focus on celebrating the birth of Christ. It’s ‘what would Jesus do’ day. And if he was to descend down Himself on this day He would find us walking in His footsteps and nothing less.

In my experience, these are all things we are willing to do when everything else previous to this day seems to add up. It’s a day we hear of baby Jesus in a manger. However, come to think about it. What would have been your reaction if things don’t happen as you expected, and the very day you find yourself evading Shylock, mending a broken heart and cringing over all the regrets you will have to live with? Would you still let Jesus have the spotlight? Would you manage to make it about someone else other than yourself? Let’s take these instances;

On the eve of Christmas you spilled strong tea on your laptop which then requires you to spend your hard –earned cash, to repair that coveted outfit or replace the keyboard. Yes, this means that your pompous fernery will have to see you in that enduring dress. Let’s not pretend that it’s not about how others perceive you, beauty on the inside has never won any pageant.

And as anticipated always fare to upcountry triples during this festive season and our matatu operators owes no one an apology for that! Forcing you to make a tight budget, including surviving with bottle of water a long the various stop-over’s on you way.
Your arrival up country is met with a ‘special’ reception. All the children flock to side, ready to unburden for you anything you carrying. Life starts, and so there you are left with only a thousand shillings between you and poverty. And to add the insult and torture, are your other relatives who are looking up to you for a treat. Could this day not be more dreadful?

What a day! Hanging on a thin – financial thread. With the same thousand a note you still expect to afford to buy two loaves of bread and walk half the distance back to Nairobi. And with the heavy rains, you know that an umbrella is not a luxury. Lucky you if you can convince a Good Samaritan to save you from the heavy torrents.

The journey back to the City is no different nightmare, from the one you experienced earlier. And when you finally board a matatu the touts intentionally overestimates the passengers carrying capacity by overloading. And seating six instead of four per seat in 14 – setter matatu, is a cruel reality you have to swallow! Not to mention stench smells and perspiration. And by the time you highlight the smell will be out of this world!

Say something snotty to the conductor about the matter and he will care less about your ‘cosmopolitan’ demands. And some are even arrogant, they speed away without giving you back your change.If this was a hotel, “ungechonga viazi” but in this place you’re up for some hard earned cash in the farm.

Not so merry a Christmas is it? You have two options: to start an anti -santa or anti-Christmas campaign on face book and twitter or give thanks that you made it this far. If you really (I mean really) look into it you will find some blessings to be thankful for. It’s Christ’s idea of celebrating His birthday.

OPENING DATE POSTPONED

From the NEWS DESK

Moi University opening date has now been postponed a reliable source from the Administration has revealed. Speaking to The 3rd eye on condition of anonymity, the source revealed that all the students will report back on Wednesday 9th of January 2013, and not on 7th of January as earlier indicated.

The source cited country wide Party nominations slated to take place on 7th of January, as some of the reasons that prompted the decision. However the Academic Director Mr. Titus Mururu has declined to respond over the matter.

SIX ACADEMIC HOTSPOTS IN MOI VARSITY

By Kirong Shadrack

Heard of President Woodrow Wilson 14 principles of peace in History? Moi too has its principles, not of peace but special in its kind. Will call them ‘SIX ACADEMIC HOTSPOTS’. If you never witnessed them then you are a ‘miracle graduate’.

1. Examination rooms – unpleasant place to be especially if you have nothing in between you ears during the material day. History has that; there is no divine intervention once you are in. Just like any other ceremony, preparation starts with bouncing classes, and at times handing in half –baked assignments. Reaches climax when the master of ceremony ‘examinee’ meets the ultimate host ‘examiner’. The results will depend on your ACADEMICTRICKS.it has names like Kanisa (LH1), Kichinjoni (Plaza)…..et cetera.

2. Gym na Wasee wa gym – these guys they got the face of politicians. They however put on baby – tight vests to mark their identity, unlike our Rugby 7s team, these group are not so much lady’s men. They grace boring occasions like Freshas Night or Kadundas, but with one agenda; to unleash their potential to any comrade who show any sings of disturbing peace. The only time their bulging chests are recognized is during annual Mr and Miss Moi event. And if you think they are powerful try. One almost got knocked off his teeth at the local pub at stage for trying to showcase his talent. And the self- made boxer had to be restrained, to preserve his new found talent for Boxing Day

3. Hostels – heard of Koinange street (Hostel K), Lavington(L), Central Business District(H)and its satellite Hostels( Upperhil,Mabatini, Diaspora).Here all kinds of ‘transactions’ take place. World best records are broken depending on the training camp you signed contract on. I hear base makers are never given a second chance. Until Further’, notice,’ postponed’….terms synonymous with the institution are a voc in this places. The famous story of a lovebird who fled her love nest in the wee hours of the night , in her birth day suit to her room when she could stand the heat, just confirms how often people are serious with business here!

4. Crossfire – as the name suggest, the place has an element of fire crossing. It is the place where political resolutions are made. Will give you a piece of advice for free. It is a requisite for before you attend this assembly that; you must have fully graduated from Miguna Migunas School of decorating speech, writing, cramming, sputtering words and arrogance. My former roommate Ndege, a rapper –come- a politician will tell you.

Victory is not by accident. First you have to assemble all the professional noisemakers in the institution, depending on your pocket. And you make sure that, they seat in order of their experience and gender. Beautiful ladies dressed in little exposing, ‘Mutula skirts ‘always occupy the front seats. Silly irritating questions are asked ranging, from whom you have slept with?, how many ladies you have impregnated?, to imaginary alleged money you stole. In short they are telling you are better a bedroom warden than accommodation Director.

luckily there is no throwing throwing of stones, but instead ‘man- made stones’ harmless papers, just in case you become a nuisance. Unnoticed are tribal Chiefs, seated at different junctions, smiling as they allow their subjects to do the obvious, heckling. One aspirant broke into his luhyha – English blaming the media when things got hot, ‘ Metia pwana!..Metia pwana!..itakuchenga na itakumalisa !!

5. Kamukunji – don’t mistake this place for the famous a Agora market in Athens, where great Thinkers and Philosophers gathered. On contrary this is the venue where heroes and heroines are manufactured. Only meant for the veterans.

And whenever you take the podium the temperatures rises. And don’t be mistaken by the voices of aroused beautiful ladies ,confused men on the front guard and charged crowd chanting, toboa! toboa!... and you start letting everything out of the bag! Because when they leave it will not take long before reality dawns on you that the place has a second name ‘FRUSTRATION SQUARE’. And you might be left counting your days in the institution.

6. Graduation Square – a final destination where it marks the end of your troubles and confusion in Moi.But ironically ushers in another chapter of troubles and confusions. It’s the only day you can afford a genuine smile for the years you have stayed here. Just like the trooping of colours by our forces during National holiday, the annual occasion is graced by all Profs, Drs….as acting Commanders –in –Chiefs. Converged by a common goal; to confer to you the powers and oath not to go and proclaim the bad things and hardship you sustained while a bonafide students, but to be Ambassadors of their ‘gospel’.

And to usher the ‘warriors’ graduands, are the villagers, who come in convoys and buses’. A day indeed you feel you should not part ways with your friends, classmates. But thanks for the villagers who are there to make you forget fast, with their traditional victory songs. Arriving at the main gate however is the harsh realtiy that greets you in the outside world. And to confirm this is another signpost on the right from the Varsity emblazoned harshly….KWA HERI YA KUONANA HUSIRUDI HAPA TENA!!!...

THIS CHRISTMAS...

By Stanley Kimuge

1. A 2019 Bachelor of Education graduate lady will have her password hacked and cracked. She is fresh from Mapito Mixed secondary and Day School.

2. Somewhere inside a network severed dark room, two men are deliberating in hushed tones. One is holding a cigar. They will be strategizing on how to bankrupt Dela-rue.

3. Instead of playing James Pierpont’s Jingle Bells, Kamau will be corrupting it. A famous gospel artist will be negotiating with a Spring Club Owner there. Just to hit the charts.

4. In a house with a protruding cross (a top), a man of cloth is counting mbegus. Thick envelopes eloping with tithes. Standing at the pulpit, his sermons punctuated by M-PESA messages. And an excited congregation accompanies them with a rousing “Amen”.

5. Down in the Valley Death a middle aged woman is fighting hyenas. In leafy suburbs a pot-bellied man will be Nyeri-fied by food. He spends the better part of the day in his "private lodge".

6. In Wafula's home, ingokhos will still be counting last hours if not seconds, some lucky to have made a short prayer. Others will not even utter "Ooh father, may this eater remember me" phrase.

7. Unwinding bends of Kipua (sorry they have running nose) village. Here someone is butchered like a helpless chicken. Reason, he can't munch words.

8. A reputable mheshimiwa will be paying a visit and money to paraphernalia-furnished man. She sparked a spirited fight inside Chambers.

9. Exhausted Omondi alias Laden Osama will be spotted holding 6.37 kg of a non-lethal hand grenade. He wants to hurl at his wife Petrolina, curiously she had slept with his neighbour.

10. Boxing day had sprung soon. A supersonic marathoner had forgotten his boxer at Mueni's place. She is his long lasting battery, I mean mpango wa kando.

11. The Eleventh hour, a Moi University Shop Owner is turning East and then West in bed. Probably, mourning the sudden death of the goodies (back in the shop).

12. The writer is grudgingly cursing his ink fading pen and 10.2cm radius Chapatis for leaving this piece ‘unfinished’. The stomach-ial injuries sustained prompted a sir-den rest. Have a Un-Nyerifying one.

FIVE THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT CHRISTMAS

By Shiku Ngigi

1. We all know of the three wise men from the East. Well, guess what? Not once has it been mentioned in the Bible that the wise men or the Magi were three in number. People came up with it all on their own, through traditions, probably because there were three gifts presented to the baby Jesus. Check Matthew 2 if you are still sceptical. For all we know, there is a possibility they were more than three. Maybe they were two. Hmmmm…
2. Christmas has been deemed by many as a holiday with pagan beginnings. Apparently, Christmas borrowed heavily from the original celebrations of Saturnalia among Roman pagans. This festival was marked by every manner of lawlessness and the Christians sought a solution to it, Christmas. Therefore Christmas was not a pagan festival, contrary to popular belief that has been fuelled by folk who peddle the story. It was a festival to attract the pagans to Christianity by trying to convince them that they would still have celebrations even when converted. While that is still controversial, that is how we end up with the holiday today. 
3. Xmas. Wish a staunch Christian a ‘Merry Xmas’ and they will probably get offended. They will tell you that it is wrong to take Christ out of the word; after all, it is His birthday we are celebrating. Well, I am one of those people but I recently found out that X is from the Greek letter Chi, which translated is "Christ" according to Wikipedia. Lecturers may tell us not to cite Wikipedia, but we all know that assignments would be quite the task without it. Having said that, the claim is pretty legit. So if you can shorten every other word in a text to your friend, I assume shortening Christmas to Xmas may not be so bad. But come to think about it, it falls in the same class with the xaxas and xemas that have maimed the English language. In the end, it all boils down to your belief.
4. This one we may all know. Jesus was not born on the 25th of December. Calendars changed and calculations here and there placed the day as one falling in the spring and voila! December 25 became the official date. Many years down the line, we all know that Jesus is the reason for the season and that is all that matters.
5. Christmas traditions mostly practised in the West have evolved over the years. Most of us do not practise, say, kissing under the mistletoe but we do have Christmas trees and Santa Claus. Needless to say, I did not know he was called Santa Claus in my childhood, I only knew of Father Christmas. Controversy surrounds him too. He has been said to be evil, even branded “Satan’s Clause” or “Satan’s claws” by some religious leaders. Well, he is supposed to signify giving which we should all be focused on doing. 

I will tell you one thing though, whatever the story, Christmas is a special time. It is a time to be with loved ones, to give, to make merry, to take a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I will not forget the eating.

Have a Merry Christmas people, and a Happy New 2013!

HUMOUR: CHRISTMAS FROM A VILLAGE BUM’S PERSPECTIVE

By Kirong Shadrack

The Christmas season has reached a fever pitch and it is easy to tell. Not that I have spotted Santa Claus walking around my village. And doubt if that chubby fellow would leave the city and embark on our muddy roads. Tomorrow is the D-day. These days I have noticed Father Christmas runs on electricity.

Few days ago I saw a mechanical Santa with a mechanical face outside a supermarket in my town, and my drinking buddy thought it was real. We were part of a hired crowd who had gone to make up the numbers for an enthusiastic aspiring Senator. It was very embarrassing getting into an argument about it in front of all those people. My friend is such a village.

I like Christmas, because everyone is nice to the poor. At least they make an attempt to be nice. It is a particularly great time for the village bums. Between the politicians and the urban –based relatives, there is a lot of free alcohol around, gifts and promises to be delivered after the New Year.

Last year December Holiday, an aspiring MP donated a jerry can worth of local brew, all because we composed a praise song that must have really made him feel grand. We got so plastered the boys still talk about it one year later. Am told the said MP has since run out of money, I don’t see much of him, neither have I heard if he is still in the same race, a head of next year election. Ramours has it that he give up his candidacy attempt to another rookie, who understood the importance of keeping praise singers high on cheap liquor.

Well it is that time of the year when I really have a ball. My well – to –do relatives from the city will be around. Since I am the official village story teller, they really cannot have a kicking party without my valuable input. Everyone loves gossip. They are always curious to find out about every tit –bit of a story they got wind of back while in city.

Every year about this time, the village becomes quite vibrant. Not as many people come back like before, but a lot of the people who grew up will still show up to remind us how well – of they are in the city. For the first two days, they are always generous. We know the routine. The more they buy the more praise they get. Usually by the fourth day, they are broke, you will be lucky to get a twenty shilling to buy a credit card. Many of them prefer beer which is rather inefficient way of trying to get high. But you have to drink so much of stuff to get merry, not to mention the many visits to the loo!

I like the church people too, with their stories of salvation, telling us about how the baby Jesus is going to be born. They tell us to come to church but they always insist we seat at the back. The front seats are reserved for the visiting urban relatives who make generous donations. Our coins are not needed this time.
The only time church is interesting is during a wedding or a funeral. At least on both occasions you are guaranteed booze and food especially if it involves a prominent family. The other day a an aspiring politician called us for us for a Baraza in church and after talking what a humble servant of God he was and why he was the right person to be elected , he confidently offered us each a gorogoro of maize and wrinkled hundred shilling notes. Can you believe that?

Given his level of education, he should have realized that that the village nowadays has a cash economy. Even the mamas were not amused. I overheard some of them muttering and cursing under their noses, that the politician needed salvation for wasting their time. Having us walking all the way to the church to listen to his boring sermon for two kilos of maize! What a mean fellow. On that note I think I had enough! I can hear some loud speakers; some campaigners must be coming through. If can make it to road before the rest…will be a story for another day! Be tolerant with the villagers, after all it is a season for sharing!!

WISH YOU A MERRY XMASS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

PEELING BACK THE MASK – (MUSO VERSION)

By William Dekker

Ever since this current MUSO Students’ Governing Council (SGC) took to the helms of power, comrades are left with virtually nothing to count as a an effect of their effort. “Betrayal” to comradeship would even be substandard to use in this case. An era of errors, assorted with negligence, dormancy and laxity. Bila kuficha, I do solicit for rumours 25hours a day, and a confidant of mine just whispered to me that this current SGC is about “minting cash” rather than serving comrades’ desired interests. No wander you villains are not considering exiting your tenure as much as it’s so evident that its long overdue. This is unethical, backward and infidelity of the highest order.

I am not a politician and at the same time wouldn’t seek that cheap publicity by crowning myself a free thinker just like some people we know. Triggered by sincere emotions and the burning spirit of comradeship, I am hereby tempted to bring the battle royale to individuals by individuals without generalizing;

DIKEMBE DISEMBE
Just like Miguna Miguna, we are told to be vigilant over these people with “the same name twice”; Dikembe Disembe, Obilo Kobilo and etcetera. In this case I wonder if the twist in “S” and “K” makes a reasonable difference. I’m already tempted to start questioning the thinking of whoever gave you those two archaic names. That’s personal, am sorry. Back to the main agenda here;

Seth Dikembe Disembe, a potential being full of misconstrued bravado. You seem to possess the unconstructive energy that exhibits nothing worthwhile. I remember the days of MUSO campaigns that this pal used to write anything that came off his head just to assail the authorities in full force. Spoke like a savior, perhaps the best thing ever that SGC would ever find, and then all eyes were on you, alongside Doghana Florence. Now I know that even Obilo Kobilo who you termed as a “nincompoop” is 10times soberer than your hypocritical self. At least I saw him once or twice, I think thrice, attempting to seek justice for comrades who suffer the wrath of your negligence.

Amusingly, Dikembe has the audacity to pop out of the blues seeking cheap publicity on platforms such as the 3rd eye’s fan page in times of despair. You speak so candid with drunken fury addressing misplaced agenda. Of what help is it when a man of your caliber comes out blaming 4th years and other comrades in session for not standing up against sudden bus-fare hike? Yet all this time you have been hiding in your cocoon of comfort zone enjoying the dollars that you earn from MUSO student subscription fee and the vast allowances you get over nothing constructive. In such cases the best thing to tell such an individual is “shut-up”, but I would be a bit rude for today and tell Dikembe “CLOSE YOUR MOUTH!”

DOGHANA FLORENCE
Even before I begin I would like to ask you Mr. to drop this embarrassing self-induced title; “Mr. President”. It earns you more of downbeat image rather than the intended respect. Mr. President seems to be a gentleman of misplaced composure, uncalled for discipline and unnecessary linguistic proficiency. I remember you sailed through the MUSO cross-fire just by spitting the usual superfluous, redundant, outmoded English 101. Of what benefit is the mouthful verbal diarrhea if comrades cannot see the actual fruits of your bare pledges?. You belong to generation “W” or rather “generation Wazee”; the current generation is not muzzled by the volumes of vocabulary that you speak. Perhaps “how many bottles of KEG can you buy?” can be considered relevant but only in the times you were desperately seeking that high office in MUSO. Personally, the thrill is gone, I would rather see your tall-self walk along the academic highway rather than listen to the non-constructive lexis dictionary that you spit.

And then this would be more personal; the next time we meet please attempt to tuck-in your synonymous “kitenge” shirt. At least I appreciate the fact that you do often remove the iconic cap in a bid to show some respect as always, Kudos! But still please don’t look up in the sky, your usual trend, coz it leaves me in pains straining to catch up with your super-tall height. How do expect me to focus on you if you elevate your eyes further, focusing to some unknown destination? Perhaps one day you’ll reveal to me where.

I have just realized that I have spent a whole paragraph bringing our personal beef to public attention. No harm I guess. Now onto our agendum; in the same spirit and gusto I have dialogued with Dikembe; I hope you listen but don’t act, your term is gone. Just do us one favour, amidst two options; resign or dissolve your cabinet., fullstop!

KYALO
I would prefer getting more personal with you, now that you denied me that tender of designing “Freshaz nite” posters. Vividly, you gave it to your usual friends now that you can always “eat” together. Wait a minute, the semester is already past half-way and all we’ve seen is substandard “dundaz”. I remember our cultural week was a whack! “Thanks to your insignificant docket”. Let me remind you that the likes of KU even had international stars like Akon grace their occasion, while back here in Moi, even the simplest of all artists couldn’t make it. I hear you invited “Jamnazi Africa” and then expected me to pay for my usual VIP ticket @Ksh.500. What a shame!!! Next time, treat comrades with respect or otherwise forever we shall boycott those substandard dundaz you have planned and “fail them kama kawaida”.

The rest of SGC you are lucky I just forgot your names, but still you are part of the rotting morass, a bandwagon of colossal hypocrisy, the Judas of 2011-2012-2013. Perhaps you just get off power before this fury sinks in too deep to quell. Tick! Tock! Comrades clock are ticking! Deuces!

THE NEW YEAR’S RESOLUTION DILEMMA

By Kirong Shadrack

It’s a countdown to the end of 2012, and being a festive season it's no doubt the Christmas and New year’s fever and euphoria is taking toll of our spirits and emotions. Some would say it’s a season to allow love percolate into our hearts or reconcile the past and the future and move on. Another phrase for ‘I want to make new resolutions’.

But how often do we say this? And do we take an annual stock of this personal decision we arrive at? Truth be told some of us if not most of us will append their signatures to the fact that these decisions, never see the light of the day, but instead remains in pen and paper until the next season when we hear Christmas jingle bells. And whenever the usual lives storms crowds in we never want to baby – seat the once enthusiastic self and its ideas.

A mental flight back after our bombers ushering of 2012, depicts how cosy we were with the year’s expectation and other events, despite the impending and present litany of dilemmas then. In line was the unresolved indefinite Engineering students dilemma dubbed ‘’ UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE SUSPENSION”. In waiting was the double intake debate dilemma, which to date anyone in the system can recount its pros and cons without blinking.

Then came calling, was the MUSO election, where we ushered in a new hybrid of leaders, seemingly impeccable in style and diction, but very reluctant, recalcitrant, arrogant, corrupt and always quick to jump to their defence, whenever matters pertaining students rights and rendering their services are put in question. What a shame?! And what a dilemma!

Our academic calendar, the mother of all hullaballoo, is the biggest dilemma that should be accorded maximum and greatest disrespect and lashing of the tongue it deserves, for our continued, untold long, and tedious academic journeys we have trekked this year!. From common language like ‘ until further notice’..’ ‘To be communicated later’....’Postponed’, among other synonymous phrases associated with the institution.

I don’t need to juxtapose the obvious, the list is endless. We are on the verge of opening the door to another new year 2013.My worry is, will we continue wallowing in the same dilemmas? You got the answers. We need a new year’s resolutions!

WISH YOU A MERRY XMAS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

WILL BBM GET RESULTS SOON?

By William Dekker

The 908 fourth-year students pursuing Bachelor of Business Management (BBM) will be issued their delayed results next week, the Moi University Press Club, The 3rd Eye has learnt. According to the Administrator, School of Business and Economics, Mr. Silas K. Chirchir, students who have not yet obtained their pending 3rd year provisional results would get them in the coming days.

Speaking to The 3rd Eye reporter yesterday in his office, Mr. Chirchir said the delay had been due to late submission of examinations papers by respective lecturers to the concerned office. He added that the “hold-up” of the results was due to the fact that a majority of the lecturers, handle an overwhelming number of students within the various Campuses of Moi University. Consequently, they are compelled to add an extra effort in order to deliver within the time frame.

“We are hastily working on the issue and possibly by next week they shall be finally sorted out”, assured the Administrator. He further urged the affected group to remain calm as the issue was being sought . With the exception of other campus, nine hundred and eight affected students who hail from Main Campus & West Campus can now rest assured that their anxiety would be quelled any time soon.

This comes barely weeks after the Academic Director Mr Titus Mururu had told this Club that the students with missing marks, would get them in 2 weeks time. We have also established that all schools except BBM have received their results in the 1st week of reporting. It is now a wait-see situation as comrades hope that their long-awaited marks will be released.

Fix electric faults, Hostel F residents demand

Hostel F residents have decried the electrical circuits situation. The comrades have said that they experienced the problem for 3-weeks. They claim that most circuits don’t work, which has worsen their economic situation.

“Manze inabidi tumeenda stage kununua food, "said one irate student. Most students called for immediate action.

FRESHAZ NIGHT

By Stanley Kimuge

Tom is a BBM 1st year.
This will be his 1st kadunda.
He will be 20years 10days, 5hrs and 6 seconds.
By the time it dawns, Tom will . . .

1. Witness 427 bottles of in Keg being smashed. 201 of which will be deformed recognition. 50 of them will be “re-branded”.

2. Will have seen 123 fresh freshaz chics being ngurumishad by continuing dudes. Another 77 by his collegues’(fresher dudes will bonyeshad shindad at same time) . 40 of who will be dumped the following day.

3. Tom will have requested the Dee Jay to play “Toklezea” 15 times before giving up.

4. He will have danced Katumbo style all night. An hour in the middle of the crowd. Four hours in the middle of the nowhere.

5. He will be astonished for 53 minutes 2 seconds waiting for food to be served but amused for 20 minutes before the bash.

6. He will have slept in the cold outside Frustration Square cursing the gods after his room-mate made an impromptu exile.

7. He will have smelled 70kg of tobacco and 5 litres of busaa during the night. 55 kg of which he inhales. He will sip 0.3ml of naps reluctantly after being offered by a classmate whom he photocopied 7 bouncing time-tables.

8. He will have given Red Cross service to 12 staggering strangers. 5 of who will throw “bad mouth” on him. He will also save his friend Davy from brewing fight over his new catch Juliette.

9. Tom will have tried four times pestering vibes on a chic. All of which will be turned down.

10. Tom will have blushed thrice after being approached by a fourth year lady.

11. He will have had 51 missed calls. 40 by her village girl (his last voice mail message will read: I read calling you 40 times most recently 4.30am). 5 by his room-mate (wanting to inquire about his whereabouts). Te remaining by his mother.

12. Will have snatched a lady towards his room at around 5am. He will have been the last man standing in the floor. The security will have forced him to leave . . .

13. He will have spent ksh 85.50 informing his friends that kadunda imeanza. Total of Ksh 10 will be swallowed by convincing her classmate to come. 20 of the amount will have been safaricom sponsored.

14. The Hostel D Resident will have noticed 8 new Frakaz members sleeping in Student Centre loos. 2 of who will be ladies.

HOW MUSO FAILs COMRADES

By Lau Lawi

“There comes a time when the main actor has to leave the stage”. These are words that have always decorated these walls advocating for the liberation of student politics. As it was witnessed with the 2nd years, they had no one to forward their cries because our politics are dead and buried. We look upon the MUSO officials like our Biblical Moses or Davids. In real sense they are Absalom and betrayers of comradeship.

They own shops and exploit the comrades; the same comrades they promised to fight for during their campaigns. They have defiled the student constitution which they promised to abide in. They have no difference with the politicians we have in the tenth parliament. But what do we say! We chose them . . .

With the activism witnessed during Dikembe and Doghanas time as writers and crusaders of Student’s liberation from the strong yoke of administrative injustices. We thought that student politics had come of age. This was a misconstrued belief conjured by our naïve procastinative brains. We were condemned through hoodwinking ideologies and manifestos of political blasphemy.

We expected these leaders who promised us heaven to at least deliver us from administrative inconveniences, if not take us to political Canaan. We appreciate what they have done so far but it’s not their best. They promised us a New Constitution which up to now has been buried in the dusty filing cabinets of student affairs as the draft gathers dust. I believe that a rolling stone gathers no moss but our politics and positive activism will develop algae and fungi if nothing is done in the meantime.

We have sat and watched as the 2nd years cry foul of administrative inconveniences as if we are not concerned. We have forgotten that tomorrow our brothers and sisters or sons and daughters will come here and suffer the consequential inconveniences which we failed to act on.

Student Finance office continues to claim that there is no money for MUSO bursary while we continue holding kadundas. I wonder whether we are getting our priorities right. What is the need of enjoying ourselves at the expense of helping a comrade fulfil his/her academic dream!

I believe that demonstrations and picketing will never yield anything positive. What will liberate us is holding consultative talks. That will lay down a platform for students to air their grievances and for the administration to act on those issues that have been ailing our institution for long. We need to show that we have informed brains that can make decisions and not act in the same manner hawkers and touts react to challenges encroaching their environment.

We are the crème de la crème of the society but have so far not realized our role in moulding a better society and advocate for positive change in our fields and professions. We have harboured great ideas on development and resolutions but have never gotten the audacity to share them.

We will never be remembered and classed among heroes if we go down to our graves with ideas that could have liberated our society from diverse yokes of modern day slavery and neo-colonialism.

HUMOUR: WHY THIS CAMPO NEEDS SECOND YEARS

By William Dekker

Its barely three weeks now and freshaz might be wondering why they haven’t seen these “things” , which they were told about campo. The compound seems to be so docile and perhaps that huge expectation hasn’t been satisfied. That campo fire, rush and super-mchanuko seems not to be a reality. I think I have a good answer to that.

To begin with, this place is full of generation “W” or rather “Generation Wazee”-the fourth years. These are old guards who see no life in a lot of things. They have very little excitement or their interest is extremely limited on anything. Meet them across the pathways with long-wrinkled faces. You will not be surprised by “move out of the way” expressions. These guys look like they are just out to box someone big-time.

I once dared the scary to one sura ya kazi look and said “hi” along the Academic Highway. I have never liked the reply till to-date; “Thesis! Project! Research! Report! Blah . . . etc”. For a moment, I thought this chap was raping to me about all his woes in response to a mere greeting; of course he was! I tell you, seniors takes away all the fan you desire in campo. It’s like a den of torment, pressure and frustrations, si project si report! Everyone of them seems to be caught up in deadlines, no wonder they have no time for any other crap (except PICNICs).

And then there is this group, that of just-fill-the compound. They are there to be hardly seen and never to be heard. Apologies in advance before I incriminate “the engineers”. These are pure academicians whose brains are occupied by 97% Arithmetics, Formulas and “crammed stuff”, 2% Massive confusion and 1% Misinformation . They are always idealess of what happens outside the Mackay building. In fact, uninformed of the happenings within the campus realm as a whole. As much as graduation takes place next to their dwelling, you will be surprised they only know after it took place “two weeks ago”. Engineers, no offence please, just business!

Evidently, there is no one around to give the freshaz a run for their money. Someone has to take life at the fastest pace and “bring them to birth”, of what it means being in campus. Let me just be frank, 2nd years wanarudi hapa na mioto, mtashangaa! This group is an equivalent of an Al-Shabab’s grenade that has been unwontedly buried in the sands of Kismayu with no agenda to carry out. Now that they have been freed from that bondage they were in, they are here to explode with a bang! Bondage? Yeah! The bondage of not seeing these new faces they desired so much while ageing at home for three weeks. 2nd years wametamani sana mafresha. At least now they’ve got juniors to look up to and I guess they might just make “perfect” mentors for these “juniors” in 1st year. Perhaps they’ll just be here to put the house in order and make things get back to its feet.

Warning! Be prepared for real craze around; agenda less noisemaking, competitive clad-wear, unparalleled fashion and groom, virtual hyperness and imaginary hotness, exiles, pirating reloaded! Wait a minute . . . have we had the freshaz nyt yet? Oops! I wonder why it was given that name coz according to my understanding; it is a thing of another group all together. May be the dress-code, the dance, the deeds for that night and the aftermath of it all will prove my point. Here is a private whisper to my beloved fresha chiqs “after Friday’s freshaz nyt, hizo skirts zenu mtazipeleka kwa fundi zikatwe mara tatu so as to fit to the standards of the mini-skirts we have here.”

Let’s just call it campo has just began; mioto reloaded!!!. If you’ve never believed that Hostel J is a den of more male occupants than female residents then hang on for even more surprises. Tick…tock! The clock is ticking; let the games begin!!!

WHEN WILL THE VARSITY ADOPT TECHNOLOGY?

By Mohammed Doyo

Moi University is one of the few good universities in Kenya but it would be among the very best in the country if it realized we are21st century era where technology is everything. Moi lags behind when it comes to adopting digital methods in providing services. Which feeling crosses your mind when you see a queue of over a thousand first year students lining up just to get registered while the same service would have been provided by the click of the mouse from home on available reliable soft wares?

It always baffles me why our university is reluctant in adopting technology yet in every school and department, information technology related courses are common! The school of information sciences purely offers tech-related courses while the school of engineering offers advanced ones such as computer and software engineering. The big question, which sages have asked in different epochs is: why offer these courses to impart students with skills and knowledge to be useful in the ‘outside world’ while our ‘inside world’ is in desperate need of technology? How hard is it to liase with these students the lecturers or the alumni to develop soft wares which can improve service delivery in the campus?

‘Queuing with a difference’ should have been our motto. From the mess, to the cashier, to first year student registration, getting exam results, to the university’s only health unit, you won’t miss the queues, thanks to the manual ‘ISO certified’ ways of enhancing service delivery. Last year, first year students were fainting in the long queues after standing for over six hours amidst pouring rains and the usual Eldoret’s chilly weather. This time round, it’s bound to be worse! The varsity has augmented its first year enrollment to over 4500 in main campus alone which means the queues will be longer!

Higher institutions of learning such as Kenyatta, JKUAT and University of Nairobi will speak of student portal, which involves databases of all students available in a single software. The students can pay fees, get exam results, book residential houses online. In Moi, student portal is purely a foreign word. A factor that has over the years made us totally different! After all aren’t we a university with a difference?

In other news, many students have lodged serious complains on the 3rd Eye wall, against the dysfunctional Moi University website, the only online presence the university has. Claims of the server being down most of the times, unavailable information on the website, outdated information continue to flow in day in day out! This situation ought to be corrected as soon as possible. By the way, is anyone from the ICT department, that is if it happens to exists, reading this?

The perennial gargantuan problem of room booking and allocation is here. The accommodation field has been clogged by impunity, the game of who is who in the university and the usual politics of the known for the known thanks to the manual balloting and room allocations allowing room for manipulation by the ‘strong forces’ in the campus. When will accommodation field take the technological step? The chief administrative officer Professor sang, the hostel manager Chesang, The housekeeper Mrs. Tanui and accommodation director Ogega should answer that.

MUSO Directors must wake up from their deep slumber and push for the adoption of technology, a topic that has been dominant in all the past campaigns period! In previous occasions, the SGC has cited the university’s rigidness in implementing changes especially in the technology field but the big question remains: for how long will we, the students continue to use manual services in this ISO certified institution while digital services can be made available? Only time will tell.

The writer is a second year journalism student and the immediate former Features Editor of the 3rd Eye.

WHEN WILL THE CONFUSION END?

By Mohammed Doyo

First years are a confused and a disappointed lot; this comes after the university decided to change their reporting dates, literally at the eleventh hour. Many students and critics alike have termed the decision as the worst ever regarding the opening dates. As you read this now, Hundreds of first year students who already had started their journey to Moi , before the change of the reporting date was made, are stranded in their respective campuses not knowing their fate. Some came as early as yesterday evening and braved the chilly Eldoret weather the whole night. And as at now, they just can’t figure out the next course of action. Honestly speaking, not only is this ‘abrupt communication’ on the change of the dates outrageous, deeply inconveniencing but also unconvincing and inconsiderate

This is not the first time the administration has made such rush decisions concerning the opening dates. In fact the fourth years have gotten used to this never ending ‘changes in the dates’ phenomena. They have learnt to approach the whole idea of reporting dates with the skepticism it deserves. They were to report on June, then came the august date that slowly metamorphosed to end October which has now swiftly transformed to November 6 in the last 24 hours!

While the university is citing the accommodation crisis as the reason to why the abrupt decision of the dates was made, it is clear that the chief decision makers of the university are incompetent, insensitive and poor planners! Who plans the exam timetable? Is there any communication between the administration and the examinations department? If yes, wasn’t the administration aware that some first years, second years and third years would not have finished their second semester exams by 1st and 4th of November respectively? How hard was it to reason that continuing students would still be occupying the hostels? Wasn’t it pretty realistic then, that reporting of first and fourth years in the first week of November was impossible? Couldn’t the administration have seen this even before the commencement of exams and adjusted the dates accordingly rather than shocking the first and fourth years in the last minute? This must be the epitome of myopia blended in poor decision making skills!

Almost every school and department is bombarded with communication, organization, leadership, critical thinking, management and problem solving courses yet the same curriculum developers, implementers and overseers do not practice what they teach in those crowded lecture halls! It is without doubt poor management has resulted to all these problems of reporting dates.

Second years have been made to believe they will report back on 25th Feb. 2013 yet the general elections will be held on 4th march 2013. All factors remaining constant, is this date even close to reality? Third years who are leaving for attachment, are they even sure when they are to resume? These problems of communication dates will keep recurring year in year out, thanks to the poor planners and administrators occupying the administration block for over three decades now! The big question is: who will stand up against these ‘bureaucratic’ inefficiencies’ that have constantly and consistently made the university, a hub of problems?

And now to the problem of first year reporting today, the administration must take the responsibility of providing them with accommodation or the transport fares back, plus compensate the students and their accompanying guardians/parents for making them incur unnecessary expenses. The Doghana-Dikembe led SGC as well as the CST must be on the ground to see justice is done to these innocent victims of circumstances.

Mohammed Doyo is a 2nd year journalism student and immediate former Features editor of the 3rd Eye.

ABORTED ADMISSION

By Jally Kihara

Some of the 2011 first year group have reported to Moi University Main Campus despite yesterday's abrupt advertisement to media houses that the dates have been rescheduled to Monday 5th November, 2012.
Those who have reported have been directed to report to their respective faculties for registration.
According to Mr. Muriithi the dean of students, the first years will be sent back after registration until 5th November 2012 as agreed in yesterday's ad hoc meeting.

"We had an urgent meeting yesterday and we agreed the incoming group cannot be accommodated since the current first years have not cleared out of their rooms.... they will go back until next week" Mr. Muriithi said in his office.

The dean's office is blaming the examinations coordinators for throwing the university into the current crisis. He argues that coordinators made changes to examination dates for continuing students which have been agreed on as plans for admitting the 2011 group were laid.

Asked whether somebody will take responsibility for the current situation which many have termed as a result of long term mismanagement in this institution, the dean was quick to say that people should just understand.

However, an exam coordinator who sought anonymity rubbished the blame by the dean's office. He says it was impractical for the dates to remain as they were due to time slots and availability of exam venues.

"We told them that the dates had to change but nothing was done. In management, people should stop being rigid in making decisions and consult to see sense where there is. we can't just change dates for nothing." Said a devastated exam administrator.

Amid all this crisis in Main Campus, the students together with their parents have continued to lament against the confusion they have been subjected to.

" I have nothing to do but I feel bad that I will again go back. I had received a letter to report on 22nd October, I came here only to be told to go back and come today (29th October, 2012). Again i am told to go back and come on 5th November." Bill, who will be joining for a Bachelor of Science in Informatics, told the The 3rd Eye.

The 3rd Eye investigations have also revealed that the usual game of 'who-knows-who' is rolling with some people securing accommodation on the few spaces available.

MSETO CAMPUS TOUR THRILLS CROWD

By Maalim Salat & Mohammed Doyo

Saturday afternoon saw the Mseto Campus Tour event set foot for the first time in Main Campus. The tour famed for its hype, music and talent search thrilled thousands of students who thronged at the Students’ Centre.

Willy M. Tuva, a celebrated TV host for the Mseto East Africa show on Citizen TV and Mambo Mseto on Citizen Radio, was the main attraction of the event.

Accompanying him were Hussein Machozi, an award winning Tanzanian artiste and Size-8, the ‘shambaboy’ singer and a feted citizen radio DJ Flash.

Machozi performed fullshangwe, Kafia Ghetto, Kwa Ajili Yako among his many songs much to the joy of an already hyped crowd.

At one point, the Kwa Ajili Yako hit maker decided to give away his designer T-shirt by throwing it to the crowd. And quite unexpectedly, a student on the stage, in a manner only seen in cinemas, flew right in the air, landed on the crowd and managed to grab the much coveted t-shirt. He threw his belt too.

The ladies were not left out. They battled out in dance competitions as DJ Flash dropped hits after hits. Local artistes also got chances to showcase their talents.

Speaking to The 3rd Eye, Willy M. Tuva described the crowd as ‘ecstatic’ and the largest ever in his several rounds of the tour.

“This is the biggest crowd I have seen so far in my several tours, the students are lively and very welcoming” He said.

On his part, the entertainment director, Mr. David Kyalo thanked the students for turning up in large numbers and promised to bring more of such events.

Mseto Campus Tour is a promotional event organized by Radio Citizen aimed at marketing the station, entertaining fans and promoting local talents. 

The event tours various institutions of higher learning all over the country.

MACHOZI: MUSIC IS MY CAREER

By Moses Nyamori

25-year-old Hussein Machozi is not different from any ordinary Tanzanian when it comes to courtesy. Despite his big and steady strides in the stiffly competitive music industry in East Africa, the fêted Bongo Flava artiste is a down-to-earth person. He’s always ready to intermingle with his fans, a phenomenon hardly seen among Kenyan artistes. Machozi is famed for his songs like Kwa Ajili Yako, Full Shangwe among other songs that have since rocked the Kenyan market. On a one-on-one interview with him on Saturday, Moses Nyamori delved to find out more about this musician who has now relocated to Kenya.

Nyamori: Who is Hussein Machozi?

Machozi: My real name is Hussein Rajab. I am a humble person who have no beef with anybody. Another thing about me is that I do music as a career and I always strive to make sure my fans are satisfied with my performance. I feel good when people appreciate my work!

Nyamori: When did you start doing music?

Machozi: Around the year 2006 if am not wrong. It’s now approximately six years in the industry and I’m still going strong. What I normally tell people is that they should not think of doing music if they cannot maintain it. Fans want artistes who can continually quench their entertainment thirst.

Nyamori: Who inspired you?

Machozi: I got inspired by a Tanzanian musician Mb Dogg. I used to sing his songs before I could produce my own and it’s through him and others that I have reached this far. I appreciate him a lot!

Nyamori: Is it true that you do much of your music in Kenya?

Machozi: Yes! My music is more appreciated in Kenya than even in my home country. My hit song, Kwa Ajili Yako, sold more in Kenya compared to any East Africa country. I get motivated by the appreciation Kenyans have shown to my work.

Nyamori: Given that you do much of your music in Kenya, do you have plans of doing collabos with Kenyan artistes?

Machozi: There are lots of plans! I have already done a collabo with Kenya’s Size 8. The song is called “I’m Addicted”. I have also featured two Mombasa based musicians in a new track ‘Nishaoa’. I still believe more collabos are on the way.

Nyamori: Early this year it was romoured that you were in a relationship with Avril, was it true?

Machozi: No! No! No! Avril is a close friend of mine like any other artiste and whenever we are seen together it does not necessarily mean we are up for ‘something’. I’m still very much single and when that time comes it will be public.

Nyamori: Where will Hussein Machozi be, in the music industry, in 2015?

Machozi: I will be up! I believe I have the potential to keep me growing in the industry. One of my major plans is to do collabos with superstars like 5O CENT among other internationally celebrated artistes.

HONOURING THE EYESORE CERTIFICATION

By Mohammed Doyo

We are a blessed lot; we just got rated as the leading institution of higher learning with the ‘cleanest’ toilets. If the article written a week ago, in the camposanity section of the buzz, a pull out of the Sunday Nation is anything to go by, we would scoop a gold medal for beating other universities hands down in this category. This is the second time our beloved university’s name has found its way in the national paper. Previously we made an appearance after bunch of bored students choreographed an imaginary ear- catching story –the ‘infamous Hostel J list’ – that saw shock and panic grip comrades.

I’m not surprised by this sterling performance. Tell me, would you not expect this when you have 1/2 of toilets with faulty flash systems, faulty taps, faulty cleaning and everything else faulty including their usage?! Tell me, how would we not triumph in this when a section of Hostel H students in numerous occasions have ranted ‘hostel H si Moi’ due to the high standards observed in hygiene negligence? Haven’t we in one way or another learned to appreciate cockroaches as part and parcel of the student community after their long stay in our hostels? 

To all those responsible for making us produce such admirable results I say Congratulations! It’s unfortunate I’m not in charge of the staff appraisal department; I would have ordered an instant pay rise for you. Such pains of ensuring our ISO certification standards are recognized on a national platform don’t just come so easily! The Health director is out of session somewhere running a shop and therefore cannot recognize this excellence. I will pass my congratulations when she resumes.

I will still not be surprised when we bag gold medals in other areas. Of late, the non-stop blackouts have turned out to be the talk of campus! I’m yet to confirm whether they are also part of our firm adherence to the ISO certifications but I have confirmed they mostly smack hostel H especially when it rains! I’m no expert to derive the relationship between rain and the blackouts in H but I’m an expert enough to know if a problem is reported and rectified on time, it is bound to stay long before it recurs! 

In the last few days ,I’m coming to terms with the new scientific concept I learned over the two weeks ago “ the amount of Haki yetu chants made in unison is inversely proportionate to the amount of time taken to bring power back’! I’m not certain whether it can work out elsewhere but I am in no doubt it will work wonders in universities, chiefly those that revere eyesore certifications!

Before my pen stops rolling, I am obliged to give our beloved ultra-modern health dispensary at least a mention! For this, not only would we bag gold medals but also set a world record that wouldn’t be broken anytime soon! As our schools mission states, we endeavor to offer world-class services and this is exactly what our only health unit is doing! Tell me, which other dispensary offers the same dose prescription of brufen and panadols to all forms of ailments including severe cases of food poisoning, arthritis, blood pressure among others? 

Oh! and before I forget, - our world class ambulance! It such an effective vehicle considering it drives at below 50KM/hr when responding to emergencies! That’s what we call an ‘emergency speed’. This effectiveness has been slightly affected by the high prices of fuel that has made it perennially difficult to afford the highly valued liquid. The medical fee of 1000 paid by every student in the beginning of each academic year is not enough to fund this, is it?

All in all, we should be thankful for having found ourselves in such an institution that prides itself with ISO certifications that only few institutions of higher learning can afford!

EVOLUTION OF A FRESHA

By Elizabeth Asasha

Now that you are five months old in Moi and about ten pounds underweight due to the frequent trots to and fro classes, I find it wise to refer to you as bona fide student of Moi Varsity instead of fresha. Well, too bad as it might seem since it has been such a short-lived opportunity and just to remind those who fortunately hooked up with the ‘campus elders’, very soon you will be filing a divorce case.

Allow me spare the cohabiting topic since it is not really within the realms of my experience but would rather like to make my point on the metamorphosis that most of us undergo. Institutions of Higher learning are boarded by people of different backgrounds and totally wide disparities in the social status, lifestyles, virtues and vices alike. It is also a zone where students undergo transformation, either negative or positive. Sadly, those who are not conversant with gate-keeping paradigm fall into a dungeon of vices. They are ultimately swayed to wrong ways.

Indisputably, those who join campus swearing and taking oaths never to fail their communities, families, friends and phantoms are the ones who fall gullible to the trap. They are easily hijacked in a morass of negative thoughts and drastic actions that untimely evaporates all the words of wisdom and proverbs bombarded to them by their elders. When my photoreceptors first met this young lady, apparently dazzling for the big ‘’reveal’’, it took my Central Nervous System minutes to give me a feedback on who the young lady before me was. She happened to be my “roomie” some months ago. 

The transformation she had undergone was dumbfounding from the dress code, walking style to her speech which I surprisingly realized that was dominated by obscene words and phrases. She frequently spit the “f” word like someone exhaling some toxic gases. As I trekked past her in a company of fellow beauty queens, fond memories of the my initial roomie unfolded in my neurons. The young and innocent roomie whose tabular rasa was fresh by then, never wanted to hear of “freshaz night”, “bongo night” or other night-out or related activities. 

According to her perception, only sinners were associated with them. She was a staunch choir member and an active church goer. I was at some point compelled to follow the trail of her to-be-emulated conduct.

Three months down the line, she only dreams of “fracas” and mind-formatting drinks. The pre-owned clad she constantly wears are the ones a kid from the village would term as those belonging to a newly born baby. Spending a night in the hostel on a Friday night would be an abomination and would soon graduate into a taboo! Yet, from the onset of the semester; she strictly adhered to the academic timetable like a Pharisee holding onto to the ten laws of Moses. “Uncompromised Class Attendance” was her middle name. The higher you go the cooler it becomes; hers was “the longer you stay the more civilized you become”; things have changed.

This is the situation that snares most of us. The paradox about this is that you will never know how it commences, and even if you do, there is always little effort to force yourself from the grip. It is after we start feeling the pinch, probably during our last days in campus that we have fallen from our mountain top of achievement into a valley of despair & predicament.

Trick enough, these memories tend to haunt us till the ultimate hour when colleagues’ clans chant their relic mantra, ululations and jubilations during graduation as those who stand aloof by their guts, destiny, life & karma bask into the glow of their academic achievement, you sag into a state of such severe depression and regrets a gang smoked out of their hideout.

FOURTH YEARS TO REPORT IN OCTOBER

By The 3rd Eye News desk

The current fourth years will have to stay away for another semester as they are slated to report in October for their first semester. This will be bad news for IS students who are not on attachment since this will mean staying at home for a longer period.

According to reliable sources within the administration, fourth years will report after the current group in session clears their second semester. However, our efforts to have the actual reporting date(s) were futile.

Going by the academic calender of the group in session, the fourth years might report late October since this academic year is to end on 19th October.

The decision to have them report after the end of this academic year, is believed, was precipitated by lack of enough accommodation.

Reports also indicate that 16th July 2012 remains the opening date for the second semester of the current 1st, 2nd and 3rd years.

ROOM BALLOTING GOES DIGITAL

By Mwitari, Omaita & Pauline Kagwire

Moi University conducted its first digital room allocation exercise at the ICDC complex on Tuesday afternoon, an event which saw the allocation of Ngeria Hostels rooms. 

The exercise is seen as a step forward in improving the room allocation system which has often been marred by inefficiency and lack of transparency, with the MUSO chairman seeing it as a way of “raising the integrity by cleansing the system”.

The event was led by hostels officer Mrs. Tanui, MUSO chairman Florence Doghana, Security and Accommodation director Enock Ogega, and a handful of TSA officials and officials from the Dean’s of Students office, and was witnessed by students from the School of Engineering.

180 bed spaces for male students and 120 for the ladies were allocated, with only 17 of 27 applicants successful in retaining their spaces. International students were allocated 3 spaces, while several spaces were reserved for special cases from the Dean’s office including MUSO members, TSA officials, class representatives from the various schools and hostel wardens. The rest of the spaces were allocated through a highly technical digital random sampling method.

The process was largely a success according to the organisers and the eye witnesses. MUSO chairman Florence Doghana promised to duplicate the system for the next balloting exercises for the senior hostels.

PLIGHT OF THE BLIND

By Jally Kihara

Imagine yourself born blind – you join Moi University to pursue a Bachelor of Arts Education at the highly populous School of Arts And Social Sciences. You swing your cane back and forth as you struggle your way to locate LH1 only to find that it is full to capacity. Nobody cares about your visual impairment and you are left to sit at the back seat in LH1. Despite relying on audio, no one bothers to preserve you a seat closer to the lecturer. That is the story of freshmen who joined this institution to pursue the ordinary courses despite their sight flaw.

Jeremy, Denis, Fridah and Diana are among people with disabilities. They are blind. They have been neglected, either knowingly or unknowingly, by this society something that have exposed them to much suffering. They do not receive any special attention in spite of them being physically disabled. We go to class with them but seldom do we help them cope up with life. Their academic path is truly thorny; the class representatives’ do not consider giving them special attention, they always forget to update them on matters crucial and due to their (the disabled) small social circle it means them missing make-up lectures. They do not have as many ‘friends’ as I and you to halla them whenever there is a make-up. The lecturer dish out handouts and the blind have to hire someone to ’voice them’ so they can use their Braille to make their own notes. Some lecturers are not aware that they teach people who are blind; they announce CAT’s yet do not inform those in charge of the visually-impaired exams in order to set CAT’s in their readable form. They are left to forward their own miseries.

Think of accommodation – despite the existence of an admission form where we indicate any of our disabilities no specific number of rooms was reserved during this academic year for fresh men with disabilities. According to one of the people with disabilities, a number of first years who are blind were left to reside in Hostel D without much care to their daily lives. They did not have a choice on who to live with despite them depending on close friends for their daily chores.

“The first years were not aware that they can decide on whom to live with. They were given Hostel D until recently when the Engineering student signed out that they came here (Hostel F).” An official of the Moi University Student with Disabilities Organisation said.

What makes it impossible for us as an institution fail to identify those who have disabilities and offer them firsthand and unique services fit for their conditions? Why would someone in his right senses allocate a blind person a room in Hostel K, M or L and have to travel all the way instead of being allocated the much nearer hostels around Soweto? They should be left to choose which hostel they would like to reside in, whom to share a room with and automatically be left on the ground floor to save them the stairs trouble.

Do the disabled also enjoy the various facilities we have in this institution as we do? Can they use the free Internet at the library? What makes it impossible to establish a special section at the library for people with disabilities? How often is the audio-visual (the only place the blind can utilize in the much-hyped Margret Thatcher Library) updated? Does those in charge of such areas aware of the needs of the blind?

Does the library have staff assigned duties specifically to serve the physically challenged to save them the agony of moving from shelve to shelve in search of materials?

The disabled students have been neglected; by all of us! There is lack of a well established department to handle issues of the disabled people. The administration should come out with clear policies on how to assist those with disabilities.

To us with no disabilities life might seem normal as we criss-cross this land, nothing much to pay attention to. We rarely mind how we treat that person next to us. It is time the student fraternity be sensitive. Look around if that person next to you needs any assistance just pause and offer a hand. As you walk clear the way for him/her, be a bit patient and let them be served first.

The thought of giving the physically disabled persons special attention at all levels should come true – it’s the best love we can show.

POST-HELB CRISIS AND THE SECESSION OF HOSTEL H

By Maalim Salat

Welcome to a week in which three out of four comrades are so rich that they find it hard to attend classes. You know that moment when the lecturer is busy teaching and you are seated there wondering; “hii lecture inaisha saa ngapi?” you badly want to impress your girlfriend by taking her to town simply because My University did you a favour by delaying helb so that you become rich towards the end of the semester. The week also saw a bomb explode in Nairobi and our sirikali subwoofer says, “hiyo ni pipe ya maji imepasuka. The government is not aware of the presence of any terrorists in Kenya. In fact, nothing happened in Nairobi”.

Our MP was also heard saying, “That can only happen in a movie. How can so many people scream at the same time in pain?”

Our own sec-gen was not left behind, “those were toddlers and infant business people who confuse a tire bursting for a bomb. Some political thugs are behind this. Agwambo was there and he was not hurt”.

This is a week in which Hostel-H decided to secede from My University. Do you remember, “HOSTEL-H SIO MOI UNIVERSITY”? Anyway, I saw that somewhere. So I also say Hostel-H should be declared independent from My University. They should be able to provide constant electricity and water for its residents; something the country of My University failed to provide. Last week, one of the residents told me, “maze wacha nikumbie. This hostel has been marginalized by the authority. All other hostels get electricity and water, sisi hatupati. Ebu jaribu kuingia hostel uone venye inanuka.” and I told him, “usijali bro. Oil will soon be discovered in this hostel and that is when they will recognize us”. Oil is likely to be discovered below Hostel-H because of the deposit of too much dead omena and unclean toilets.

This week, HELB arrived and many comrades will grow fat because they will harass and exploit helb so much that the government will be forced to release it early next sem. We will grow fat because we enjoy our money more than the MUSO shopkeepers (sorry, I mean MUSO directors who own shops) they earn salary from their shops and do not have time for comrades who voted them in. The guys earn so much money and are still very thin because the promises they made haunts them to their bedrooms.

It was the best news any comrade would want to hear. Before I visited the ATM dispensing machine, I went to Violet Shop and had a little chat with Mr. Ruto, the shopkeeper. While we talked, I looked around to see what I can buy from the shop. I then went to the December shop and admired the flavoured condoms sold there. I imagined how I will be having tea with milk for the first time since I reported to this compound.

I saw comrades lined up at the studie waiting eagerly for that money that kina K’obilo sent from Nairobi when they visited Nakuru. Among comrades lined up at the studie was Dennis, a good friend of mine. Holding him was the fresher girlfriend I dumped last week when HELB virtually appeared on that place called the Internet. By the way, these days I don’t even google for answers when my lecturers give me assignment for fear that the Internet may lie and tell me, “it seems you have never enrolled for that course or you have entered the wrong question”.

Entrepreneurs bought enough stock for their businesses. I even saw the Moi University Wagalla Survivors Association (MUWSA) chairman ordering for what they call kangeta and giza for members of the association (that is how they celebrate). I don’t know the meaning of kangeta and giza but I am told it is that product that makes my people slim and beautiful. Hii Friday, kadunda pia itabamba. Na mimi sikuli tena sukuma choma.

SHAKERS AND MOVERS OF MAIN CAMPUS ECONOMY

By Obilo Kobilo

This is an eye opening piece of literature which strives to uncover the real proprietors and student entrepreneurs within the micro-economy of main campus. This piece of literature is not meant to depict nor victimize anybody as an exploitative mogul nor a merchant of financial brinkmanship out to enrich their pockets but a journalistic series that captures the movers and shakers of the main campus economy in order to cultivate the spirit of entrepreneurship within the general student body. It gives insights into the blame game between the student leaders and the campus entrepreneurs concerning the soaring of prices of basic commodities within the campus.

Enock Musau

This is the name in almost everybody’s lips during election period. To many the name is synonymous to exploitation at the Chips Café which has made the partaking of chips an exercise of ostentation consumption, a preserve for the affluent of this community and a once-in-a-while treat. The student leaders-cum-shopkeepers have also found a reason to hide behind simply by passing the blame to the soft-speaking Musau whenever questions are raised about hiking of prices of commodities. Who actually is Musau? Is he really behind the exploitation within the Main Campus? How did he get himself here? What does he do around? What’s his share within this micro-economy?

Mr. Enock Musau did his K.C.S.E exams in 2003 at Kanga High School in Southern Nyanza, Migori county and scored A (plain). He was admitted at Moi University, School of Medicine in 2005 but transferred to School of Business and Economics after two years of study as a medic earning an automatic entry into second year of study.

He started his first business within the Main campus with a capital of Shs.60, 000, amount he had accumulated from his HELB loan over a period of two academic years. He started off with the Comrade Shop (the shop currently owned by the Secretary General Dikembe) which he was given by the then Secretary General Mr. Felix Gworo as a sign of appreciation for the financial support he offered him during the campaign period. By then, this was the only operating shop within the campus. At the end of the first semester (after four months), Mr. Musau had accumulated over Shs. 300,000 opening his eyes for greater business opportunities in other fields.

He then ventured into real estate business after securing some loan from his bank. He developed his first estate in Eldoret town next to Annex Campus (School of law) and sold it out to some housing firm within the town. By the close of the academic year Mr. Musau had made over Shs.2.3 Million in profit from his real estate business and residential apartments. He then ventured into Matatu business in 2008 after buying his first Matatu which has now given birth to two more bringing the number of matatu he owns to three. He coupled these with car dealership venture importing cars from Dubai and selling them in Kenya,

During the tenure of the 24th SGC which was chaired by Mr. Domnic Karega, Musau was awarded all the shops within the campus and the two Chips Cafes next to Soweto Mess at a fee of Shs. 360,000. He acknowledges that this was possible due to the dubious tendering process put down by the then Finance Director and the 24th SGC. However, he almost missed out on everything during the tenure of the 25th SGC headed by Mwamburi Mwang’ombe but managed to secure one Chips Cafe through some two lady students. The Chips Cafes brings him between Shs. 1500-2,000 per day depending on the availability of potatoes which he sometimes source as far as from Molo.

He doesn’t own any shop currently and wonders why his name is usually being dragged into any debate concerning exorbitant pricing which has become a culture in our economy. He runs the first Chips Café from the Soweto mess a premise which he purchased from the 26TH SGC at Shs.100, 000. Some directors are among the students who were anti-Musau before they assumed office, a strategy that aspirants have perfected to win the students and to sound reformists.

Mr. Musau is now pursuing Masters in Business Management (MBM) Procurement option. He has rentals in Kisii and Eldoret towns. He’s also a motor vehicle dealer.

HELB TALE...

By Steve Macharia

The uncertainty in campus due to delayed disbursement of government loan through the Higher Education Loans Board (HELB) has re-ignited students’ activism at a time when Main Campus faces myriad of challenges.

Last week’s bold move by ordinary MUSO members to seek audience with Dean of Students may help bring to the attention of the university the academic cost of going through the semester penniless. By the end of their meeting, a five-member team was formed to join the SGC in pushing the government through relevant departments and organs to facilitate the release of the funds. However, a lot remains desired on how the group intends to undertake the activity.

What is more interesting are the hard-line positions being taken by the two sides making the group. So far, the MUSO Chair has indicated he will not join a delegation with some members of the students’ fraternity present in the group. The opposition of the Chairman to this endeavor cannot be taken lightly. First, he is the only MUSO representative in the University Council. His presentation to the council meeting scheduled this week will determine the eventual end of the undertakings by the group.

A close conversant with affairs of the SGC said a silent rivalry among senior members of the SGC may cost the group the ‘priced tour’ as only a few are coming forward to push the university in seeking intervention measures.

The other pertinent issue is the timelines for undertaking the event. While the group plans to visit senior government officials where appointments are key, no one has come out clearly to state whether any contact has been made with any office. The question that arises is: how possible can the group manage to meet these officials without any proper itinerary? Is there something the SGC is not telling this group? While the Dean is said to have agreed to the groups suggestions with a rider that no national media should be involved; how will it augur with this undertaking assuming the group receives no audience with the expected government officials? The media concern was said to have been raised also by the VC who said it would not do good to the image of the university with his myriad sponsors and ‘friends’ both locally and internationally

The 26TH SGC formally wrote to the VC to seek his intervention on the matter last week. The letter, delivered by the MUSO Secretary General and the Academics Director urged the Vice-Chancellor to engage actively with the government and ensure students get the loans as early as possible.

The vice-chancellor, though not opposed to the petition is said to have requested students to give more time as the university is set to hold a council meeting this week to deliberate on the issue, among other items set for discussion. However, the students leaders while accepting the extended duration were adamant on the issue of students’ sustenance, arguing most students used their survival funds to pay fee hence are beginning to feel the punch.

The writer is a 3rd year Journalism student and a former 3rd Eye managing editor.

HELB MATTERS

By Jally Kihara

Eleven students drawn from the Student Governing Council and the students body are scheduled to visit the Ministry of Higher Education and the Helb offices on Monday, 30th April 2012, to make a follow-up on the possible date of disbursing finances to the continuing students.

The group will be equipped with a list of signatures collected from students who feel affected by the changed academic dates and their continued stay in the university will be impossible without the Helb funding.

The office of dean of students is fully aware of the move and he approved the group’s proposed budget to enhance their mission. This action has been prompted by news that the much awaited funds might not be released any time soon which would make lives unbearable especially to those who depend entirely on Helb to pay fee and get money for upkeep. 

However, the Muso chairman Mr. Doghana is not comfortable with the approach towards the current crisis citing that the pathway of the issue might not go well with the university’s leadership.

HARMONIZATION OF PRICES

The continued outcry by comrades about the hiked prices of items within campus has finally impelled the chairman to act on the issue.

Mr. Doghana has promised that the exploitative merchants around campus must shelve their greed if they are to continue conducting their businesses in the Muso premises. 

Doghana expressed his dissatisfaction over the overcharging that goes on in these shops which are owned by the directors and he’s expected to hold a consultative meeting with comrades today to chat the way forward.

The campus shops are selling at prices which are much higher than those at stage, for example 1kg of Mumias sugar retails at Ksh 160/= at Soweto shop while the same goes at Ksh. 140/= at Reliance Supermarket.

Also , according to contractual agreement between the Chips cafés owners and the finance director , chips are supposed to retail at an average price of Ksh.60/=, all conditions taken care of, but chips has continuously been retailed at Ksh. 70/=.

Though this is a free market, it is unacceptable for the few to exploit innocent consumers and it is high time measures be put in place to control the pricing.

The move by the chairman to have campus pricing controlled is welcome. He has also hinted to table a dossier on who owns which shop.