2012 is now History, almost to everyone except me who is haunted by memories of my fast elapsing 366 days, this leap year. What a year! But at least am done with it, so I will refrain from crying over spill milk. The modest thing here to do is to come up with my “New year resolutions” as much as I don’t verily understand the concept of that phrase. Perhaps, this is my concept, if at all am good enough to digest the true meaning of “New Year resolutions”.
1. DROP THE MOTTO: WE SHALL MEET AT THE GRADUATION SQUARE
I commit to improve my class attendance from my previous constant rate of 6% to 13%. I bet that more is a double-rate improvement. Finally, those who might have wondered if am ever seen at the SRs, LTs and LRs will have an opportunity to see me re-surface. Were it not for this first resolution, from 1st year to my final, we would have only met once at the Graduation Square. But IRD kama kawaida; distance learning or continuous skiving till “serikali iingilie kati”
2. REDUCE THE NUMBER OF “SOUPS”
It’s high time I gave my transcripts a new look, courtesy of 2013. Bet me, I commit to reduce the number of “soups” and asterisks on my esteemed transcript; probably from 7 to 5. Wow! Two massive improvement!. Though, am sure this would be tall order for me. I’ll need to work extra hard, and put in a lot more sacrifices e.g. I can’t even mention; not frakaz, not UEFA! Or, I’d rather stick to my “<40%” because that’s where I honestly belong. No pains!
3. RESCHEDULE MY DATE WITH FRAKAZ
I’m already in tears while putting this down. On my! Will this really work? Even the attendants at this “my home away from home” know that they are destined to reserve me numerous bottles for Monday…Wednesday…Thursday…Frid
4. EXILE NO MORE
I am so sure my “roomie” is singing “Hallelujah” somewhere as he reads this. Pheeew! Finally, he won’t suffer the wrath of my “active-age”. I commit not to exile him anymore. His weekends shall never be the same again. No cries, No woes, No silent torture! I remember how I used to torment him this year, as soon as I get to business; from Friday night to Sundaaaaaay…..oh my! I guess I won’t have any business with the empty "Hostel A.T.Ms”. People, remember it’s me who used to take them down as soon as they were refilled with C-word. Ahem!
5. ALWAYS SEND 80% OF HELB TO MUM
Mum, I commit to bestow upon you; the powers to receive and consume, 80% of the HELB Loan disbursed to my inactive bank account. I’ll spend the remaining 20% wisely; 1. To purchase you people back at the village gifts as the semester closes down; 2. Send pocket money to my Form 2 girlfriend, and purchase some “kitenge clothes” for her current step-mother. At least with that my “future” role is guaranteed. The rest of the amount I’ll use to purchase some local grade goats. Please, take good care of them(goats) since I’ll use them as dowry the soonest I graduate.
6. ABANDON HOSTEL “J” AND STICK TO MY “H”
Finally, the Janitor and Security Personal won’t have a rough time anymore; battling my inevitable dominance in the female’s Hostel J. For the past two semesters of the previous academic year, I broke the 10 to 10 rule, innocently. It wasn’t an intentional breach of the institution’s accommodation laws, I blame it on “nature and age.” This things at times just seem to me unavoidable. Three quarters of the semester I spent my nights in Hostel J, year and of course “days” as well…oops! I commit to bear the atmosphere in H, the hustle and bustle of a ghetto zone since here is where I belong. Lakini enyewe, kikiumana; J pap!
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