A DEAL FINALLY REACHED

by OBILO K'OBILO
The troubled student governing council and the body representing dissenting students finally broke the deadlock and reached a deal to put an end to the ongoing backstabbing, person assassination and character soiling that has been doing round through out the campus in the past few weeks.

In a meeting which was held in a room in hostel A and attended by various representatives from various organizations within the campus, the two dissenting bodies agreed to bury their personal interests for the sake of comradeship and unity within the whole student fraternity.

The dissenting voices which was represented by Mr. Tom Kaudo took the meeting through the touchy and sensitive issues which necessitated their bold move to collect signatures from the students to oust the 25^th S.G.C. Top on their card of complains was the issue of tendering. Mr. Tom Kaudo took issue with how the tendering was done, if it was done in the first place, how transparent was the whole prices and the illegality of the current ownership. This set the ground for the introduction of what seemed to be the most emotive issue on everybody’s lip within and outside the meeting: the pricing system of the items in the shops around the campus.

The members deliberated on this issue for almost one and a half hours forcing the presiding Chairman Mr. Cassius Ajwang to keep on reminding everyone the need to maintain objectivity throughout the meeting. Several options were floated to arrest the situation including the urge to redo tendering process afresh or to maintain the current ownership of the shops but try to come up with a price regulation mechanism to check on the pricing system within the campus. The meeting finally unanimously agreed to adopt the latter option considering that ownership of the shops might just be an exercise in futility since the current owners might corrupt their ways back leading to continuation of the price exploitation. Besides, it was brought to the attention of the Chair that almost everybody was only concerned with the prices rather who owns what.

To that effect a committee comprising of six students including two MUSO Directors was formed and tasked with the duty of compiling a price list which will be stuck on the notice boards and all Turk shops to be used by the students in knowing whether they are being over-charged or not. The committee is composed of Tom Kaudo who is its Chairman, Judy Waweru(MUSO VC) being its Secretary,Obilo Kobilo, Disembe Dikembe, Enock Nyariki(MUSO CHIEF EDITOR) and Sandra M’konyango .

The committee through the S.G.C is also mandated to recommend closure of any shop within the campus which is proved to have violated the to be given price list through overcharging or selling low quality goods at a price that is not substantial to the product. On the price of fries, it was immediately resolved that chips should be partaken at Shs.50 taking effect from this morning in all the chips cafes within the campus.

The issue of security proved to be a little bit tricky since not even the Security and Accommodation Director was in a position to each and everyone was save wherever we are. However, he gave the meeting an assurance that he will do anything within his capability to make sure that everybody is safe but called upon the students to make their personal security a priority in any of their indulgences. The number of student vigilante and the process of their recruitment was considered by the meeting as non priority matter which the concerned Director is at liberty to share or not to. Concerns were also raised about the states of our latrines and health system prompting an assurance from the Health and Security Directors to carry a follow up to any student who will be referred to Moi Teaching and Referal.

The meeting agreed that the SGC was to tackle these issues failure to which the collection of signatures will resume its course. It was also agreed that the committee and the SGC will hold joint meeting with the students in LT 3 on Thursday to chat the way forwafd. In attendance were; Mwamburi Mwamng’ombe, Okeri Orina, Tom Kaudo,Judy Waweru, Fred Odero, Victor Mwarura, Enock Nyariki, Moffat-TSA Chairman,Dan ,kennedy Basa, Disembe Dikembe, Obilo Kobilo, Koome Isaak, Steve Macharia, Partricia Tuwei, Orland David, Simon Kuria,Joice Wainaina, Ong’aro Silas,Sandra M’konyango,Philbert Kizia,Joel Mola,Cassius Ajwang and the Chairman of Integrity Movement(William Sila).

THE SHAMBA BOY SERIES: HOW I MET FEDERICKO NYAWAWA

by MAALIM SALAT
Like an arsenal fan bathing with ushindi soap or like a Hostel-H resident who is assured of constant electricity supply, happy moments come to our lives and we milk those moments as if they will never come back. Imagine a situation where you become the president and when you wake up, you realize that it was just a dream.

Last week, I was appointed the secretary-general of Somali-4-Meru society. This society was instigated by the Union of Marqaan Students Association (UMSA), Moi University chapter. Members constantly send money to the Meru community via their local agents and the Meru community, in appreciation, sends them twigs and leaves that make one build castles in the air. George Miraa, the Meru scientist who discovered this plant, will be remembers till judgment day for saving his people from hunger and poverty. In 1961, he convinced the Somali president that his (somali) people will not die of obesity if they use the plant and that they will always remain slim and happy.

Out of curiosity, I decided to give it a try. I bought myself a kilo and settled down to chew and wait for a miracle to happen. And indeed, a miracle happened. At one moment, I was the Mwambuzi of this university and the next moment I was in hell with Federicko Nyawawa. Lest you didn’t read much, Federicko Nyawawa is the scientist who invented night running.

As the head boy of this university, I brought about commendable changes. Students no longer had the nightmares of missing rooms. Form ones never paid for mono’s night entertainment. For the first time, foods at the messes tasted delicious and customers never complained of tumbo-ache. Insecurity and peter mashoka was history. Students stood in respect whenever I passed the stress corner(read frustration square) near the students’ centre. The ladies cooked for me and washed my clothes while the gentlemen cleaned my room and made my bed. They made my security so tight that no one dared hit me with a chupa ya soda.

And at another moment, I was led by the shoulder to hell. The devil himself was behaving like the Kenya police but I had nothing to bribe him with.

Hell was divided into chambers: The western chamber, the central chamber, the kachmega chamber and the chamber with a difference. People were queuing at the gate of each chamber waiting for admission. I saw the longest queue at the gate of the chamber with a difference. The devil gave me a chance to choose the hell I would be tortured in. I decided to go round and find out what happens in each hell.

I first went to the western chamber where I met Federicko. “karibu kijana”, he welcomed me as he handed me a glass of molten iron to drink. I asked him about what happens in his hell and he said “first they allocate you a room where you remain locked in before and after torture time. They then take you to room four of the complex section where you are tied to a seat and your balls get kicked. In the evening they take you to hostel-H (or J for ladies) where they electrocute you.” He told me that the punishment was the same throughout all the chambers in hell.

I then asked him, “If punishment is the same in all chambers, why are more people lining up at the chamber with a difference?”

He smiled and replied, “Because the rooms in the chamber with a difference are less than the occupants; many of them do not get rooms to be locked in. Room number four of the complex section has no seats and there is constant blackout at hostel-H and J.”

It was all a dream but I am proud to be here

SPORTS: ACCOUNTANTS DEBITED, THE ECONOMISTS CREDITED

BY STANLEY KIMUGE

School of Business Management thrashed their counterparts Economics in the ongoing MUPL event at Ngeria grounds yesterday. A goal earned the accountants the three points to raise their stakes of winning the competition.

The 77^th minute goal sealed the victory. The match was commissioned by Ezekiel Njasi. More than 200 fans thronged the pitch to witness the entertaining fixture as the event entered day 3.

On Monday, School of Information Sciences won the match dubbed “friendly” to sit comfortably at top of the table. Goals from Odongo and Mutua were enough to give the ICDC based outfit a ran for their money. The match which got underway at 5.50pm was marked by complains. The chilly weather delayed the derby.

“The match was a walk over, “IS captain told the 3^rd eye team. Today IS will face school of Arts at 4.15pm at the Pavilion.

MUPL kicked off last week and the semester long event is aiming at keeping the comrades active .It also aims at creating awareness on drug abuse. This is a fulfillment of what the sports director Brian Mukholwe promised during his campaig

Random thoughts

by EMOX K'AMIMO
Nothing is to be feared, but everything is to be understood. Not even death or life is to be feared. But it is important to study their reasons for striking. Every time we sleep we are practicing death, we are therefore experienced at living and dying.

Life is a field filled with hurdles, obstacles, set-ups, set-backs and traps. It is a battle field full of enemies both known and unknown .It is a road full of potholes, incidents and accidents. It is a voyage full of promises for better shores of opportunity. It is a sea full of raging storms. It is a jungle full of wild emotional monsters. It is a foul weather full of heavy torrents. It is a beautiful lady desperate for courtship. It is a bitter person thirsting for vengeance. Life is a living death. Life is the real mortal; we are but mortality agents. Life is weak and a slave to calamity; it has no power to protect itself. Life is real, we are living it. Life is fake, we are soon leaving it. Life is stupid; it can’t make its own decisions. Life is wise it is full of lessons. Life is unfaithful, it sleeps around with death. Life is a mistress to death. Death is therefore the master.

Death is a friend of God and Satan. Death connects us to the maker or the breaker. Death is a foe to the good, a friend to the bad. Death is a nemesis. Death is the gate to eternity. Death is the end of earthly calamity. Death is pleasant, it’s quiet and reserved. Death is a gentleman; calm and will get you slowly. Death is temporary, righteous souls overcome it. Death is a despot; it forces things its way. Death is a family planner, it controls the population. Death is a bad farmer, it rips the unripe. Death is corroded, its house and body is rotten. Death has a weird sense of humor, it pokes fun at life. Death is a sadist, he doesn’t care what you feel when he strikes. Death is bugler, it forces itself in. Death is partially dead, when we are alive. Death is a core course everyone must pass on. Death is a sanguinary; it sucks all its victims’ blood. Death is a coward, it hides while coming. Death is a capital criminal, it should be sentenced to death; and then death will die and leave us with eternity. Death is therefore no master- Eternity is.

Eternity is death after life. Eternity is life after death. Eternity is inverted fate. Eternity is everlasting, we forever lust for it. Eternity is God’s gift to man; precious. Eternity is a far horizon, we aim at reaching it. Eternity is the last option; it comes after life and death. Eternity is strong; neither life nor death can test it. Eternity is living and non-living in equal measure. Eternity is the most complex transformation matrix arithmetic ever invented- turns bodies and souls into spirits. Eternity is…no, I can’t describe it. I stop; its infinity. The transformation matrix has no solution. Death is pleasant, life is pleasurable; it’s the transition that is troublesome. It scares the heaven and the hell out of us

Comrades adornment

BY CAROLYNE ACHERO
This semester, I have come up with many resolutions and one of the gargantuan resolutions is to call a wrong by its real name. I am well aware that this will earn me a number of names and I could even be accused of bigotry. But I’d rather these names instead of burying my head in the sand like the proverbial ostrich hoping that the problem will either go away or solve itself.

There are a number of disturbing scenes moving around undeterred in lecture halls which I would to become extinct.

Exposed Inners

This is the most disturbing of them all. The color, design and material of your inner clothing is your business alone. If there’s something that I hate beside halitosis are people who insist on sharing with me forcefully, their private issues.

Imagine sitting behind a dude with a boxer written on threatening words like Rambo, Yokozuna, Rikishi and even Arsenal etc. This is very disconcerting especially on a chilly Monday morning in LT3 when you are trying to find your way around a labyrinth of Maths which always backfire on your face. Ladies, yours is worse and that’s why I will not even discuss it here. I have only this, loose the low-waist jeans. Why would you want to show than you want to hide?

Painted Faces

Ladies, ladies, ladies, make up is meant to enhance what already exists: to bring out your hidden beauty. Why would you paint your face so much that you end up looking like a scarecrow from maize farm in Kitale? My primary headmaster called them walking Christmas trees.

Mr. Domnicius Wapekulu would have certainly exclaimed, “Christmas imeshafika!” Application of make-up is a very delicate matter which demands patience and professionalism, otherwise you’ll end up looking scary instead of beautiful. However, if you want to look terrible, then by all means use crown paint for a permanent look.

For tips, please visit JulyneDerrick.com.

Parrots

These are our comrades who will say everything and nothing at the same. Someone once said that the percentage of your intelligence is 100% until you open your mouth. Then it will either decrease or increase.

These comrades have answers to all rhetoric questions a lecturer asks. They decide whether the lecturer is good or bad according to where they sit. Notably, they will book all the front seats for themselves, their friends and the friends of their friends.

When you missed what the lecturer has said and you say pardon, they will volunteer to repeat it and more often than not, its everything but what the lecturer said.

Often after a painful QS lecturer, all you think about is your impending intimate interaction with your coil. The lecturer asks just as a formality if there’s any questions and the class goes like NOOOO! Lo and behold, a familiar hand shoots up. The owner of the hand will then go on to ask a question that takes two hours to answer. What happened to private consultations?

Outrageous Hairdos

It has been proven scientifically, that my concentration in a Maths class has hit an all time low and these hair styles do not help. My sisters spot hairstyles the size of full grown pumpkins. In fact, they look like they are carrying water pots on their heads in class!

If you must don a conspicuous hairdo, could you please seat at the back dear.

“THE FIGHT”, who is telling the truth?

by jelly kihara and moses nyamori

MUSO chairman, Mwamburi Mwang’ombe, and a former assistant secretary general, Victor Mairura, on Friday engaged in a physical fight at student centre.

The chairman, who was just from The 3rd Eye Media Week, was being quizzed by a group of students over the deteriorating state of comrades’ affairs, especially the soaring state of insecurity. He then decided to call the chief security officer for the comrades to verify whatever he was telling them on the measures being taken to curb the vice. Mairura, who was having a drink next to them, heard the chair’s conversation with Major Kiplagat on loud speaker mode tone and intervened, terming the act an unethical.

During an interview on Saturday in his room, Mairura said that Mwamburi grabbed him on the neck and fist him on the head. He then retaliated by hitting the chair with a bottle of soda next to his right eye.

Mairura, who distanced himself with the opposition, said that the chair raced him in the student centre and fought him.

“Mwamburi is frustrated - comrades expected a lot from him but things are reversed since he has not delivered to their expectations. When you read his facebook wall, even his diehard campaigners are now working against him” he said. He went on and said that the chair is a populist, who needs attention for everything he does.

“I am ready for a dialogue with Mwamburi as a way forward to solve our differences. In the morning we conversed with him over the phone for more than twenty minutes. In SDA, we do not believe in judgment from any other authority but God, and since Mwamburi and I belong to this church, we can still come up with amicable solution for the situation”, he said.

In a separate interview on Sunday, Mwamburi said that Mairura joined them when he was conversing with Major Kiplagat and called him a ‘useless mtumishi’. He then cautioned him to keep off their discussion since they have never come to an agreement on such debates but Mairura ignored him.

Mwamburi believes that their differences are much far from ideology and terms it personal hatred enshrined in a political battle for political supremacy.

‘He doesn’t accept the fact that I won Muso elections and is always out to outshine the 25^th SGC in all aspects. As much as he is championing for a dialogue between us, I am not for that, let the rule-of-law takes it course’, Mwamburi said.

The enraged two recorded their statements with the security officers and are yet to receive communication from the department.

MWAMBURI VS MAIRURA …WHAT ARE THEY REALLY FIGHTING OVER?

by obilo kobilo
The Illuminator ran some stories last Saturday to the effect that the Muso Chairman Mr. Mwmburi Mwang’ombe was attacked by one Mr. Victor Mairura and hit by a bottle on the face. The paper went ahead to narrate how the chairman frantically pursued his attacker in a bid to avenge. I don’t have a problem with the Muso mouthpiece informing the student body who beats who or who is attacked where and how. I’ve been taught in my Journalism class that prominence is one feature that makes the “isness” of news and justifies its appeal for mass consumption.

Now, there is some harm that went with this kind of coverage. To me, it did not only portray Mr. Mwamburi as a man under siege from his opponents who are ready to go an extra mile of getting physical in airing their views but also as a man who looks helpless in front of his political distracters.

A story is told of our Prime Minister getting the scar on his face while in a political gathering somewhere In Migori County during the infamous tenure of the then area MP and former Minster for water and irrigation. But to that extend, the story simply remained for the locals consumption and never went beyond the borders of the expansive county relegating it to rumor status. Meaning as a politician Mwamburi could still do with such kind of attack and escape the public attention…He could had still told us how he was attacked in a senate meeting while trying to protest against the frequent power black outs especially in Soweto area.

Mairura can as well utilize the concept of raw irritation that is malevolently lubricated by own insecurities to cast a bizarre aspersions that Mwamburi is besmirching him since he is deemed a threat to upper echelons of power. Suppose he does this, a handful of us will actually pay homage to this school of thought forgetting that there is much in the backstage surrounding this occurrence than what we are always treated to on our notice boards. However, if he adopts this line of thinking, some might be tempted to ask him as was portrayed in the illuminator article, what he did as the Ass. Sec Gen during their short-lived tenure, which was characterized by rampage claiming the life of one student?

Mairura can still go ahead to claim that (which is already doing round) Mwamburi is not at peace with anybody who takes him around ammunition of critics and easily loses his temper to the point of getting physical.He can fire a salvo to Mwamburi alleging that he is in one caliber with the likes of Museveni who can even spray his opponents with pepper fluid upon slightest provocation. He could further his arguments from the proceedings which acquired a reactionary hue that undermined the course of events letting into action the two. In attendance were members who are presumed to be in the opposition and government camps complicating issues for both Mwamburi and Mairura but weighing downwardly more to Mariura than Mwamburi.

But one issue which Mairura can find trickier to attend to is his continuous ludicrous, wholly abysmal and unwarranted outburst against the Chair that leaves a sour flavor in the taste buds prompting the question of how genuine is his reform crusade. You see, in politics you only become relevant to my existence if you reciprocate the back-scratching I might have offered to you sometime back in our engagements. Complicating for Mairura issues in this statement is his alleged involvement and silence over the tendering process.

Mwamburi can as well claim that Mairura considers him an enemy simply because he questioned and was against his role in the tendering process. This will open Mairura to questioning whether he is really fighting the Chair on ideologies or he simply protecting the status quo which is threatened by the chair!

Irrespective of the outcome of the whole development, one thing is standing out clearly; We are in a big mix up in distinguishing a hoax from change, pretenders from reformers and wolves from sheep. We might stagnate here for the better part of this academic year unless…

THE PLIGHT OF DIASPORIANS

by moses nyamori
In those days of nyayoism, it was an uphill task to challenge leaders of their weaknesses freely – you had to look over your shoulders to see who was around – you had to know those who were around you, just listening but not speaking. You had to ensure safety of your surrounding before uttering a word or to avoid being seen as an enemy of development by your leaders, you had to package your message well – what was known by critics as using gentler names to refer to thorny issues.

Things have changed as I write this piece today – I can take on anybody in any office and get away with it, and today I want to take on the whole lot of 25^th SGC.

The current breed of SGC has disillusioned most comrades if not all. Most of them have offered us lip leadership which up to today have left those comrades staying in ‘diasporas’ ask themselves whether they are still part of the Moi University or they belong to Moi Primary or something else closer to that.

To be able to substantiate my (our) plights, I will be precise and talk about plights of comrades who stay in F HOUSES (that’s where I stay).

To start with, upto today as I do this piece (approximately two months since opening), some comrades in this part of Moi still use their bedsheets as window-curtains – reason being the University has not bought curtains. To avoid blanket insults as it might be termed, this should reach accommodation director, Mr. Orlando, since it lies squarely within his jurisdiction.

To add to his in-tray, we live in a maize plantation, and to be sincere with him I have never seen anybody in green strolling. My question to Orlando, are you waiting for a comrade to be attacked to act? You better stop attending kadundas, where you ‘harass’ people and attend to our needs!

To our HEALTH DIRECTOR ( I have forgotten her name – I think because after electioneering period I have never met her), since opening date, there has been a leaking sewage just in front of ROOM 71,(F HOUSES) and upto today neither you nor any other authority has shown interest in fixing it. I am not a health practitioner, but from common sense it is unhealthy and I can be supported by our little kids in lower primary from their basic homescience lessons. Still on health issues, some comrades in this part of Moi, have no dustbins to dumb waste materials. Health director, you have to act now and not any other time!

To the whole lot (25^th SGC), I know there are wrangles amongst you as I do this piece. The question is, are your differences based on your diverse ideologies? The answer is NO. It is all about who owns what in this campus. Some of us do not even know that you own shops but you go ahead and abuse our innocence by fighting in public over the same. SHAME ON YOU!!