MY FACEBOOK IS NOT YOUR PORN SITE!

By William Dekker

It’s a digital era and no one is left behind, that’s why you won’t be surprised my grandma’s online friends are already 26 and counting. That is the sum of the “digital” members of the extended family. That’s already off-the-cuff, back to the main agenda, Facebook porn; vivid pornography in the social media.

All along this has been a platform that, to me, would provide solace and homage whenever the real world becomes too stressful. Here I would find many “casual pals” who would help me shed off burdens and at times share in laughter. And then comes in a trend that, by all means, should not receive any leniency and support from anyone, no matter the age, gender or origin. The decency of all times is lost; a new scenario sets in:

i) Creating pages with titles of sexual inclination; Examples include definitions of prostitutes, sex events, or “pages with age rating”. There are ethics in critical writing but in this case I wouldn’t be shy to shun pages that exhibit moral filth, hereby ready with a few examples I am acquainted with but with a little encryption: “Kama wewe ni under 18 usijaribu kujoin”, “poko yule.

ii) Creating pages with suggestive titles; superficially sounding like some gossip or “exposing hidden realities” with different intentions e.g. “Nairobi Prostitutes exposed”, “Sex in Kenyan Campuses exposed” etc.

iii) Creating events that by all definitions are sex itself e.g “kutombana reloaded etc”

iv) Consequently, the daily content from this pages are uncensored pics of sex scenes and hardcore nudity, many at times girls. (These attract a wider audience, men and a few lesbians.)

v) Individuals upload nude pics on their profiles as if to create some comic scenes. Some are often accompanied by captions that explain the intention of the perceived persona in the picture; e.g. intention to have sex with someone etc.

vi) More stupid is the fact that you, the Facebook user, is asked to type either a letter or a word to see what happens to the picture. Basic knowledge people! If you are already someone signed up on Facebook then it means you have sufficient knowledge to know that a still-picture has no motion. You have the common-sense to differentiate between an image and a movie! Simple! Typing “1” or “send” doesn’t make any difference to a JPEG image uploaded 2 minutes prior! Evidently that’s a plain test of stupidity on a day that is not Fool’s Day!

Let’s take case (i) and (ii) in their immediate context. Here is a look at a sample page. “Sex in Kenyan Campuses exposed”. The content is absolutely different from what the title suggests. I’m in campus but such content is non-existent! Actually there is always no relation. For example, a case where the page’s admin posts a nude pic of a lady he claims just ‘inboxed’ him with the intent of requesting admin’s assistance; a case where the girl in question desires someone for a one night stand at a fee, somewhere in Kakamega. How is that exposing sex in campus? That is turning Facebook into Koinange, Kakamega version for that matter.

What is more baffling is that most of these pages are ran by Kenyans (though some are foreign I admit). The titles are a mixture of Swahili words and local slang (sheng) to capture the target audience. Surely, Kenyans? This is an act of primitivism and 3rd class stupidity, a huge embarrassment. The administrators, fans and followers of these pages are an exhibition of colossal filthiness, polluting a platform that was created for a far much different and better purpose.

Don’t ask me how I came across the pages since anything you do on Facebook now is by default, public. Such dirty minds and addicts of porn should better embrace reality. Mark you, there are porn sites, licensed and fully equipped. Sex is existent in the real world. It only takes two to tango; use you human stature to satisfy your needs and “MOVE ON”. Did I say move on? Yeah, that’s a trending word I couldn’t avoid. That would be more modest than turning a decent site into a world of indecency and ethical degradation! Case closed, the fight is still on!

THE MUSO CHAIRPERSON

By Chemochek Enock

My phone rings and I reach for my Blackberry in the breast pocket but then again I realize it is not the Blackberry that is ringing; it’s my Samsung Galaxy S III in my back pocket. I reach for it. Oh! It’s my treasurer, or should I say MUSO Treasurer, calling. “The account must be running pretty low. Damn!” I murmur to myself, returning my smartphone to the pocket.

It’s the last quarter of the year 2013 and it has been months since I was elected the MUSO chair. I am counting my blessings one by one, and smiling at the fact that all my weeks-old businesses are running well. The salon and two ‘kinyozis’ at the Students’ Centre are also doing well. The coffee shop in Soweto is equally raking in big money while the chips café near barracks seems to be picking up, among other businesses at the stage.

All I do is sit back and enjoy life in Moi University, the goodness of having cash and living a posh life. I wonder why some bunch of mere students keep parroting day in day out that Moi University is such a bad institution. In the first place why should they feel bitter? I think they should just go to Frakaz, drink two or three Smirnoffs and drown to slumber!

Thank goodness the month’s pay is about to be deposited into my account, but before then I will talk with the treasurer and see how much I can have from the MUSO account, having in mind December is here. My buddies must get rounds of whisky on Christmas day so they can drink to their fill and shower me with praises. I am also bound to throw a two-day party to usher in the New Year; after all I have money, more than enough for me and my pals.

The New Year will come and new resolutions will be made. I don’t think I will have to make any resolutions because problems are far from me, even those petty writers of the press club who like poking their noses into MUSO’s affairs won’t bother me a bit. Maybe I will have to silence one or two. I will hug the New Year with great joy because it is going to bring with it prosperity. The business ideas in my mind will materialize. I will work on modalities and technicalities of privatizing the MUSO cyber café at the Students’ Centre then I will rest assured my future life is brighter than I could ever think of.

Hallo! Now back to reality, far from day dreaming. Here I am, the sufferer I have always been, poor as I seem. The MUSO elections campaigns have not even kicked off! My good friend Dekker doubts the ability of second years to run MUSO and I am just a fresher. I guess all I have to do, at least for now is to attack MUSO officials for their poor management of our money and their extended stay in office.

I also ought to start cheating students that when elected the president, I will tarmac all roads including those leading to ‘diaspora’. I will assure them that insecurity won’t be an issue, promise to extend the wireless networks to every corner of this institution, promise to ensure accommodation fees are halved, living conditions improved and recreation facilities put in place. I have to promise heaven, hoping against hope that no one foresees the hell that is awaiting them.

MUSO EDITOR: AN INSIGNIFICANT POST?

By Mohammed Doyo

The 26th SGC will go down as one that never had an Editor- a nominated position provided in the MUSO Constitution. The editor is tasked with the responsibility of running the Muso based Illuminator publication. The official paper for the student union. What happened?

It was back in 2012 march, just when the 26th SGC had assumed office. The then fresh SGC (Student Governing Council) conducted interviews and one, steve Macharia, a major political player and a former campus writer emerged top as per the interview. However, Muso chairman Florence Doghana was not comfortable with the idea of Steve being the editor. He argued that Steve, having been an agent and chief campaigner for Sec Gen Dikembe during the Muso elections, and therefore must have been pushed in using ‘corrupt’ means. Backed by a section of the students and his preferred candidate for the editor’s post, Koome Kimonye, now a Citizen TV employee, the group vowed, by all means necessary to thwart Steve’s ascension to the disputed post. This marked the beginning of a debacle that cost the union an Editor.

Interesting developments followed. Dikembe waged a verbal battle both on ‘land’ and on social media accusing Doghana of sabotaging the process of appointing Steve. On the other hand, Doghana would not let this lie low. He was out to prove indeed he was the chairman of the union. A battle of supremacy reigned supreme. Arguing he was acting on ‘popular opinion’, He confronted the dean of students, Mr Muriithi to nullify nomination of Steve or else he would call a ‘kamukunji’ and resign as the Union’s chairman.

Dean Muriithi, playing by the ‘popular opinion’, gave in to Doghana’s demands and nullified Steve’s nomination and promised to appoint a new interview panel that would come up with a new editor nominated through a fair and a Just process. This was the end of that story. 14 months later, the slot remains vacant.

Questions from different Campus media quarters remain unanswered to date. Why would Doghana fight so hard to nullify Steve’s appointment and leave the position vacant? What was so difficult for Doghana to act on ‘popular opinion’ and push for the appointment of another editor, and not Steve? In a university that has thousands of media/communication students and a vibrant campus media, why did the 26th SGC fail to appoint even a single student to the position, to make use of that Muso certificate in their future media careers? What happened to thousands of Muso funds set aside to run daily ‘illuminator’ publications and production of the annual MUSO Magazine? The role the Muso Editor plays of linking the students and the SGC through publications, was this so trivial that the SGC decided to care less about it?

Speaking to Dikembe sometimes back, the Sec gen. put the blame squarely on Doghana for not acting to fill the position. To date, he maintains Steve deserved the post. On his part Doghana has continued to remain silent over the issue.

The 26th SGC is wrapping up its tenure. Nothing can be done now. However, it will go down in MUSO history books, the said SGC failed to appoint a Muso Editor, not because there weren’t qualified individuals for the post, nor the Dean of students objected the appointments, but because the SGC members were too busy with their own issues to deem the issue important.

THIS TIME ROUND

By W. Kahiro

Dear Heart,

I want you to know that it was your fault but not because you meant us ill but because you were stubborn. You see, we are a team you and I. I don’t lead while you follow; we walk hand in hand and work side by side. But you let me down. I needed you to come with me when I warned you it was going south. I am not saying I am the head in this relationship but I am where the head is, which means I see what lies ahead.


You felt it was right but I could see them digging our graves from up here. I told you we could not trust them but you relied on your feelings and ignored my instincts. I tried to warn you in your restless sleep but you ignored me. I could not leave without my better half so I stayed and we are both paying for it with everything we’ve got.

You and I have been to hell and back these past few days but finally I can see a dim light at the end of the tunnel. It is not much but they say a little hope goes a long way. I have just enough to last us this turbulent times.

This time we are doing things my way. If you want to mend the holes in you, you will not argue with me on this. Do you remember what it was like to wake up every day and wish we could die just for a little while until the pain died down just a little bit? Just until the broken pieces stitched together and until the voices in my head stopped laughing at this misery that we brought on ourselves?

I stayed up late thinking of how I could make you feel better, how I could turn off those bitter feelings of anger, betrayal, love and hate in the four little chambers. For a moment I feared you would not live to beat another day and I could not think straight. The world had stopped spinning and you came crushing down and every piece of you that hit the cold ground made me curse the day our paths collided with theirs. It took my blood, sweat and tears to keep the world from closing in on us and now that we survived the worst I have a plan. A plan to make sure that this time we do it right, less sentiment more rationale, little pain but definitely a happy ending.

It is quite simple, really. You are the heart, what you feel is true but it does not necessarily mean it’s real or worth bleeding for. From now on I decide who we love because love is more than just a feeling dear, it is a rational decision to constantly intend good for us because we will do the same for them even when it hurts. They did not care about us that much, not enough to mend the broken pieces and definitely not enough to stay and fix this.

This time we will not love because we feel it, we will love because we have thought about it and it seems less a thorny path compared to the last. Dear heart we will love with my head this time round, not only your feeling. Have I ever steered you wrong? Let’s start over; wiser, stronger and most importantly, together.

Yours rationally,

Head.

LET THE ‘NEW’ ADMINISTRATION ADDRESS ISSUES

By Mohammed Doyo

From a first year to a fourth year, from the staff to alumni, a constant cry dominates the talks whenever Moi University comes into the picture. A cry of Change. Over the years, cases of mismanagement have moved from worse to worst with students complaining day in day out, about the managerial inefficiencies in this institution. Apparently there is a joke that has been going around that ‘the only change Moi knows of is weather change’

However, after many years of waiting, a new administration finally comes to moi as part of the new changes initiated by the new government. Some of the old faces have been sent on compulsory leave, others have been sacked and in place, new individuals have been appointed by the new commission introduced by the government to oversee the running of universities. The new faces at the admin building are expected to turn around things and put back Moi in its rightful place in the academic world.

Students have received this ‘change’ message with both Optimism and doubts. While many of them remain largely optimistic, a section of them have expressed reservations- that the ‘new office’ might not bring the anticipated changes since the appointed individuals were formally in junior positions here at Moi. A case of new wine in old skins.

Nevertheless, as far as students affairs are concerned, the ‘new office’ might understand their plights better since some of them were undergraduate students here in moi, the likes of DVC Prof. Oketchi. What should the office do?
First the Elephant in the room- The Accommodation problem. This remains the biggest challenge. While Moi university over the years have continued to admit more students in the double intake program, no single hostel has been built to house the huge number the students admitted, save for the few private hostels the university purchased at stage. Building of hostel M remains unfinished, a decade later since the project was first initiated. The new office should look into ways of completing these stalled projects and initiate construction of new hostels immediately.

Accommodation and academic calendars are Siamese twins. Moi’s academic calendar hugely bases itself on the accommodation situation in the university. As we speak, a section of first years had to leave for holiday, just after one semester to pave way for the 3rd years and 2nd years who resumed session on Monday. This has raised a lot of concerns. At these pace, when will these students complete their 4 year -varsity learning? To solve this never ending riddle, The new office should come up with a well defined, fair, predictable and convenient academic calendars.

Away from accommodation and academic calendars, the issue of embracing the technology. Unlike most of the universities in its class, Moi continues to lag behind when it comes to technology. ‘Manual’ has been the art of doing things over the years. Queues have become a synonym of this institution. From room balloting and allocation, collection of transcripts, paying of fees, first year registration, everything is manual. Not surprising, Moi ranked No. 143 in Africa in tech use while the likes of KU and UON emerged in top 20’s in the recent webometrics rankings- a global org. that ranks universities based on their online presence. It’s quite appalling that in this era of Social media use, Moi has no functional, regularly updated Facebook or twitter accounts. Again the institution’s website remains to be updated on a frequent basis. The new office should look into ways of introducing ICT fully, to enhance smooth operations in this ISO certified institution.

Not forgetting other issues, the new office must address cases of corruption in its management structures, auditing all the financial accounts, putting an end to the use of vernacular languages in the offices, sacking of incompetent staff in the institution, streamlining the accommodation department; first by increasing the number of cleaners in the hostel, then equipping them with the necessary tools of work and finally repairing the hostel’s sanitation equipment. Besides that, the new office should also come up with ways of ensuring exam transcripts are out in time.

ACADEMIC SOLUTION TO MAIN CAMPUS

By Matthew Nyang’or
There is a time in every new life of comrades when the spirit of hopefulness has to come true among them only if they decide. Let us know that our change will come from within us, so lets start now projecting for changes we want and it will come to us.

You and I can be great only if we choose to be so. Its time we comrades of main campus need to actually initiate way forward in which we can make true actions to our MUSO REBIRTH.

We ought not to complain rather put up measures in which we can prevent the same situations such as : “ further notices” , “unavoidable circumstances” , “unpredictable academic calendar which is currently affecting a section of first years going home abruptly, section of second years and all incoming third years being home for long among others from regenerating themselves in future.

We need an effective Academics Director together with other directors to be able to come up with reliable solutions that will streamline the Academic calendar and tackle out others issues that may affect the students’ comfortable living.

We are our own and only Salvation to our academic matters within the institution as we’ve heard and seen it all as we are all suffering and facing similar problems.

We, the Main Campus students must make a right Choice to take a Chance or our lives will never Change!

THE 26TH SGC ATTAINS MENOPAUSE AGE

By Governor Joel Evans

Congratulations, for you have lived long enough to know what is and what is not possible. For you have walked long enough along the corridors of power to understand what bureaucracy is all about. I salute you all as you enjoy your retreat in Kampala, reminiscing your vibrant and aggressive moments. You spread the gospel of change to comrades but today what we witness is the hallmark of your sterility. You no longer meet the expectations of those who gave you power; the common comrades. The day you stopped pushing is the day comrades began crushing terribly.

Whose docket deals with gender and special needs? Chapter 5 of the MUSO constitution article 22 clause 2(a) states that, “the assistant secretary general shall preside over as chair to the Gender and Special needs Committee.” Well, it is very touching and emotive that our fellow comrades in the special needs department cannot access upper floors of Margaret Thatcher Library just because the escalators are malfunctioning. They had hopes that you would forward their cries and deliver them from bondage, but it seems like the deliverer also needs deliverance.

Who is concerned with students’ welfare? Article 20 (g) stipulates that, ‘‘the vice-chair shall co-ordinate the general students’ welfare services like transport, benevolence, sickness and funerals.” Talking of transport, comrades were forced to overstretch their limited budgets and pay over two hundred shillings to town during the December holiday break. There was no one who came out to negotiate on behalf of comrades. Suggestions of a legitimate release of one of the buses to be used and at least charge a lower fare amount for fuel purposes was aired, but they landed on deaf ears.

There was a draft of a new MUSO constitution that was to be pushed through. What happened to it? Comrades have neither been informed nor updated of its progress, even once. Where is our legal defender, the custodian of the MUSO constitution? What happened? You went silent, contradicting that verbal and outspoken part in you that engraved a sense of hope in comrades. ‘‘When the noise goes down…”

I will rest my case. However, should comrades continue trusting you in the fulfilment of their expectations regardless of your attaining this delicate age of menopause? Or should they come up with test-tube policies and initiate a process of artificial insemination to re-orient you once again on what they expect? When you can no longer conceive? Remember, what you cannot conceive, you cannot achieve.

(Don’t tell me words don’t matter)

A CROSS-BREED, MY PICK

By Stanley Kimuge

I don't know why I settled for this title. But I bet am landing into troubled waters. Being a fourth year is just as risky a business as placing a loaded gun on your head. A few weeks and I will hopefully log out of this torturous 8-4-4 system.

For now I am damn sure of one degree. Don't ask me what it will look like. The other is still a mirage. I bet I should mobilize one lady to be my running mate before the deadline slaps my face. But where can I get her?


Well, after soul-searching, I felt a cross-breed would do me good. I suppose a hybrid of a village girl and a poisoned campus chiq is a perfect match. Of course, I would love to be inclusive and compromising.

I discovered village girls too just like campus ladies, have deep-seated lines of weakness. A campus chiq has wide experience; you can say best cooks in beds. On the other hand, my highly praised conservative girl lacks this skill.

A cross-breed would survive under any condition. She can accommodate the miniskirts (though I hate them passionately), but just like the Uganda Ethics and Integrity Minister, Simon Lokodo, I will outlaw where necessary. Modesty, as they say, works best.

Village or analogue ladies are hard to bend. They are the loudest drum beats. More importantly, they can suffer from obsolescence. Before I put a lid on the nib of my pen, I am awarding a tender to a Too-Low Company. Just like they drilled the hardest rocks, they can perhaps hand-pick the rarest of them all; a cross-breed.