Dear Heart,
I want you to know that it was your fault but not because you meant us ill but because you were stubborn. You see, we are a team you and I. I don’t lead while you follow; we walk hand in hand and work side by side. But you let me down. I needed you to come with me when I warned you it was going south. I am not saying I am the head in this relationship but I am where the head is, which means I see what lies ahead.
You felt it was right but I could see them digging our graves from up here. I told you we could not trust them but you relied on your feelings and ignored my instincts. I tried to warn you in your restless sleep but you ignored me. I could not leave without my better half so I stayed and we are both paying for it with everything we’ve got.
You and I have been to hell and back these past few days but finally I can see a dim light at the end of the tunnel. It is not much but they say a little hope goes a long way. I have just enough to last us this turbulent times.
This time we are doing things my way. If you want to mend the holes in you, you will not argue with me on this. Do you remember what it was like to wake up every day and wish we could die just for a little while until the pain died down just a little bit? Just until the broken pieces stitched together and until the voices in my head stopped laughing at this misery that we brought on ourselves?
I stayed up late thinking of how I could make you feel better, how I could turn off those bitter feelings of anger, betrayal, love and hate in the four little chambers. For a moment I feared you would not live to beat another day and I could not think straight. The world had stopped spinning and you came crushing down and every piece of you that hit the cold ground made me curse the day our paths collided with theirs. It took my blood, sweat and tears to keep the world from closing in on us and now that we survived the worst I have a plan. A plan to make sure that this time we do it right, less sentiment more rationale, little pain but definitely a happy ending.
It is quite simple, really. You are the heart, what you feel is true but it does not necessarily mean it’s real or worth bleeding for. From now on I decide who we love because love is more than just a feeling dear, it is a rational decision to constantly intend good for us because we will do the same for them even when it hurts. They did not care about us that much, not enough to mend the broken pieces and definitely not enough to stay and fix this.
This time we will not love because we feel it, we will love because we have thought about it and it seems less a thorny path compared to the last. Dear heart we will love with my head this time round, not only your feeling. Have I ever steered you wrong? Let’s start over; wiser, stronger and most importantly, together.
Yours rationally,
Head.
I want you to know that it was your fault but not because you meant us ill but because you were stubborn. You see, we are a team you and I. I don’t lead while you follow; we walk hand in hand and work side by side. But you let me down. I needed you to come with me when I warned you it was going south. I am not saying I am the head in this relationship but I am where the head is, which means I see what lies ahead.
You felt it was right but I could see them digging our graves from up here. I told you we could not trust them but you relied on your feelings and ignored my instincts. I tried to warn you in your restless sleep but you ignored me. I could not leave without my better half so I stayed and we are both paying for it with everything we’ve got.
You and I have been to hell and back these past few days but finally I can see a dim light at the end of the tunnel. It is not much but they say a little hope goes a long way. I have just enough to last us this turbulent times.
This time we are doing things my way. If you want to mend the holes in you, you will not argue with me on this. Do you remember what it was like to wake up every day and wish we could die just for a little while until the pain died down just a little bit? Just until the broken pieces stitched together and until the voices in my head stopped laughing at this misery that we brought on ourselves?
I stayed up late thinking of how I could make you feel better, how I could turn off those bitter feelings of anger, betrayal, love and hate in the four little chambers. For a moment I feared you would not live to beat another day and I could not think straight. The world had stopped spinning and you came crushing down and every piece of you that hit the cold ground made me curse the day our paths collided with theirs. It took my blood, sweat and tears to keep the world from closing in on us and now that we survived the worst I have a plan. A plan to make sure that this time we do it right, less sentiment more rationale, little pain but definitely a happy ending.
It is quite simple, really. You are the heart, what you feel is true but it does not necessarily mean it’s real or worth bleeding for. From now on I decide who we love because love is more than just a feeling dear, it is a rational decision to constantly intend good for us because we will do the same for them even when it hurts. They did not care about us that much, not enough to mend the broken pieces and definitely not enough to stay and fix this.
This time we will not love because we feel it, we will love because we have thought about it and it seems less a thorny path compared to the last. Dear heart we will love with my head this time round, not only your feeling. Have I ever steered you wrong? Let’s start over; wiser, stronger and most importantly, together.
Yours rationally,
Head.
No comments:
Post a Comment
your comment, your voice...