From the NEWS DESK
Moi University opening date has now been postponed a reliable source
from the Administration has revealed. Speaking to The 3rd eye on
condition of anonymity, the source revealed that all the students will
report back on Wednesday 9th of January 2013, and not on 7th of January
as earlier indicated.
The source cited country wide Party
nominations slated to take place on 7th of January, as some of the
reasons that prompted the decision. However the Academic Director Mr.
Titus Mururu has declined to respond over the matter.
Saturday, December 29, 2012
Thursday, December 27, 2012
SIX ACADEMIC HOTSPOTS IN MOI VARSITY
By Kirong Shadrack
Heard of President Woodrow Wilson 14 principles of peace in History? Moi too has its principles, not of peace but special in its kind. Will call them ‘SIX ACADEMIC HOTSPOTS’. If you never witnessed them then you are a ‘miracle graduate’.
1. Examination rooms – unpleasant place to be especially if you have nothing in between you ears during the material day. History has that; there is no divine intervention once you are in. Just like any other ceremony, preparation starts with bouncing classes, and at times handing in half –baked assignments. Reaches climax when the master of ceremony ‘examinee’ meets the ultimate host ‘examiner’. The results will depend on your ACADEMICTRICKS.it has names like Kanisa (LH1), Kichinjoni (Plaza)…..et cetera.
2. Gym na Wasee wa gym – these guys they got the face of politicians. They however put on baby – tight vests to mark their identity, unlike our Rugby 7s team, these group are not so much lady’s men. They grace boring occasions like Freshas Night or Kadundas, but with one agenda; to unleash their potential to any comrade who show any sings of disturbing peace. The only time their bulging chests are recognized is during annual Mr and Miss Moi event. And if you think they are powerful try. One almost got knocked off his teeth at the local pub at stage for trying to showcase his talent. And the self- made boxer had to be restrained, to preserve his new found talent for Boxing Day
3. Hostels – heard of Koinange street (Hostel K), Lavington(L), Central Business District(H)and its satellite Hostels( Upperhil,Mabatini, Diaspora).Here all kinds of ‘transactions’ take place. World best records are broken depending on the training camp you signed contract on. I hear base makers are never given a second chance. Until Further’, notice,’ postponed’….terms synonymous with the institution are a voc in this places. The famous story of a lovebird who fled her love nest in the wee hours of the night , in her birth day suit to her room when she could stand the heat, just confirms how often people are serious with business here!
4. Crossfire – as the name suggest, the place has an element of fire crossing. It is the place where political resolutions are made. Will give you a piece of advice for free. It is a requisite for before you attend this assembly that; you must have fully graduated from Miguna Migunas School of decorating speech, writing, cramming, sputtering words and arrogance. My former roommate Ndege, a rapper –come- a politician will tell you.
Victory is not by accident. First you have to assemble all the professional noisemakers in the institution, depending on your pocket. And you make sure that, they seat in order of their experience and gender. Beautiful ladies dressed in little exposing, ‘Mutula skirts ‘always occupy the front seats. Silly irritating questions are asked ranging, from whom you have slept with?, how many ladies you have impregnated?, to imaginary alleged money you stole. In short they are telling you are better a bedroom warden than accommodation Director.
luckily there is no throwing throwing of stones, but instead ‘man- made stones’ harmless papers, just in case you become a nuisance. Unnoticed are tribal Chiefs, seated at different junctions, smiling as they allow their subjects to do the obvious, heckling. One aspirant broke into his luhyha – English blaming the media when things got hot, ‘ Metia pwana!..Metia pwana!..itakuchenga na itakumalisa !!
5. Kamukunji – don’t mistake this place for the famous a Agora market in Athens, where great Thinkers and Philosophers gathered. On contrary this is the venue where heroes and heroines are manufactured. Only meant for the veterans.
And whenever you take the podium the temperatures rises. And don’t be mistaken by the voices of aroused beautiful ladies ,confused men on the front guard and charged crowd chanting, toboa! toboa!... and you start letting everything out of the bag! Because when they leave it will not take long before reality dawns on you that the place has a second name ‘FRUSTRATION SQUARE’. And you might be left counting your days in the institution.
6. Graduation Square – a final destination where it marks the end of your troubles and confusion in Moi.But ironically ushers in another chapter of troubles and confusions. It’s the only day you can afford a genuine smile for the years you have stayed here. Just like the trooping of colours by our forces during National holiday, the annual occasion is graced by all Profs, Drs….as acting Commanders –in –Chiefs. Converged by a common goal; to confer to you the powers and oath not to go and proclaim the bad things and hardship you sustained while a bonafide students, but to be Ambassadors of their ‘gospel’.
And to usher the ‘warriors’ graduands, are the villagers, who come in convoys and buses’. A day indeed you feel you should not part ways with your friends, classmates. But thanks for the villagers who are there to make you forget fast, with their traditional victory songs. Arriving at the main gate however is the harsh realtiy that greets you in the outside world. And to confirm this is another signpost on the right from the Varsity emblazoned harshly….KWA HERI YA KUONANA HUSIRUDI HAPA TENA!!!...
Heard of President Woodrow Wilson 14 principles of peace in History? Moi too has its principles, not of peace but special in its kind. Will call them ‘SIX ACADEMIC HOTSPOTS’. If you never witnessed them then you are a ‘miracle graduate’.
1. Examination rooms – unpleasant place to be especially if you have nothing in between you ears during the material day. History has that; there is no divine intervention once you are in. Just like any other ceremony, preparation starts with bouncing classes, and at times handing in half –baked assignments. Reaches climax when the master of ceremony ‘examinee’ meets the ultimate host ‘examiner’. The results will depend on your ACADEMICTRICKS.it has names like Kanisa (LH1), Kichinjoni (Plaza)…..et cetera.
2. Gym na Wasee wa gym – these guys they got the face of politicians. They however put on baby – tight vests to mark their identity, unlike our Rugby 7s team, these group are not so much lady’s men. They grace boring occasions like Freshas Night or Kadundas, but with one agenda; to unleash their potential to any comrade who show any sings of disturbing peace. The only time their bulging chests are recognized is during annual Mr and Miss Moi event. And if you think they are powerful try. One almost got knocked off his teeth at the local pub at stage for trying to showcase his talent. And the self- made boxer had to be restrained, to preserve his new found talent for Boxing Day
3. Hostels – heard of Koinange street (Hostel K), Lavington(L), Central Business District(H)and its satellite Hostels( Upperhil,Mabatini, Diaspora).Here all kinds of ‘transactions’ take place. World best records are broken depending on the training camp you signed contract on. I hear base makers are never given a second chance. Until Further’, notice,’ postponed’….terms synonymous with the institution are a voc in this places. The famous story of a lovebird who fled her love nest in the wee hours of the night , in her birth day suit to her room when she could stand the heat, just confirms how often people are serious with business here!
4. Crossfire – as the name suggest, the place has an element of fire crossing. It is the place where political resolutions are made. Will give you a piece of advice for free. It is a requisite for before you attend this assembly that; you must have fully graduated from Miguna Migunas School of decorating speech, writing, cramming, sputtering words and arrogance. My former roommate Ndege, a rapper –come- a politician will tell you.
Victory is not by accident. First you have to assemble all the professional noisemakers in the institution, depending on your pocket. And you make sure that, they seat in order of their experience and gender. Beautiful ladies dressed in little exposing, ‘Mutula skirts ‘always occupy the front seats. Silly irritating questions are asked ranging, from whom you have slept with?, how many ladies you have impregnated?, to imaginary alleged money you stole. In short they are telling you are better a bedroom warden than accommodation Director.
luckily there is no throwing throwing of stones, but instead ‘man- made stones’ harmless papers, just in case you become a nuisance. Unnoticed are tribal Chiefs, seated at different junctions, smiling as they allow their subjects to do the obvious, heckling. One aspirant broke into his luhyha – English blaming the media when things got hot, ‘ Metia pwana!..Metia pwana!..itakuchenga na itakumalisa !!
5. Kamukunji – don’t mistake this place for the famous a Agora market in Athens, where great Thinkers and Philosophers gathered. On contrary this is the venue where heroes and heroines are manufactured. Only meant for the veterans.
And whenever you take the podium the temperatures rises. And don’t be mistaken by the voices of aroused beautiful ladies ,confused men on the front guard and charged crowd chanting, toboa! toboa!... and you start letting everything out of the bag! Because when they leave it will not take long before reality dawns on you that the place has a second name ‘FRUSTRATION SQUARE’. And you might be left counting your days in the institution.
6. Graduation Square – a final destination where it marks the end of your troubles and confusion in Moi.But ironically ushers in another chapter of troubles and confusions. It’s the only day you can afford a genuine smile for the years you have stayed here. Just like the trooping of colours by our forces during National holiday, the annual occasion is graced by all Profs, Drs….as acting Commanders –in –Chiefs. Converged by a common goal; to confer to you the powers and oath not to go and proclaim the bad things and hardship you sustained while a bonafide students, but to be Ambassadors of their ‘gospel’.
And to usher the ‘warriors’ graduands, are the villagers, who come in convoys and buses’. A day indeed you feel you should not part ways with your friends, classmates. But thanks for the villagers who are there to make you forget fast, with their traditional victory songs. Arriving at the main gate however is the harsh realtiy that greets you in the outside world. And to confirm this is another signpost on the right from the Varsity emblazoned harshly….KWA HERI YA KUONANA HUSIRUDI HAPA TENA!!!...
Tuesday, December 25, 2012
THIS CHRISTMAS...
By Stanley Kimuge
1. A 2019 Bachelor of Education graduate lady will have her password hacked and cracked. She is fresh from Mapito Mixed secondary and Day School.
2. Somewhere inside a network severed dark room, two men are deliberating in hushed tones. One is holding a cigar. They will be strategizing on how to bankrupt Dela-rue.
3. Instead of playing James Pierpont’s Jingle Bells, Kamau will be corrupting it. A famous gospel artist will be negotiating with a Spring Club Owner there. Just to hit the charts.
4. In a house with a protruding cross (a top), a man of cloth is counting mbegus. Thick envelopes eloping with tithes. Standing at the pulpit, his sermons punctuated by M-PESA messages. And an excited congregation accompanies them with a rousing “Amen”.
5. Down in the Valley Death a middle aged woman is fighting hyenas. In leafy suburbs a pot-bellied man will be Nyeri-fied by food. He spends the better part of the day in his "private lodge".
6. In Wafula's home, ingokhos will still be counting last hours if not seconds, some lucky to have made a short prayer. Others will not even utter "Ooh father, may this eater remember me" phrase.
7. Unwinding bends of Kipua (sorry they have running nose) village. Here someone is butchered like a helpless chicken. Reason, he can't munch words.
8. A reputable mheshimiwa will be paying a visit and money to paraphernalia-furnished man. She sparked a spirited fight inside Chambers.
9. Exhausted Omondi alias Laden Osama will be spotted holding 6.37 kg of a non-lethal hand grenade. He wants to hurl at his wife Petrolina, curiously she had slept with his neighbour.
10. Boxing day had sprung soon. A supersonic marathoner had forgotten his boxer at Mueni's place. She is his long lasting battery, I mean mpango wa kando.
11. The Eleventh hour, a Moi University Shop Owner is turning East and then West in bed. Probably, mourning the sudden death of the goodies (back in the shop).
12. The writer is grudgingly cursing his ink fading pen and 10.2cm radius Chapatis for leaving this piece ‘unfinished’. The stomach-ial injuries sustained prompted a sir-den rest. Have a Un-Nyerifying one.
1. A 2019 Bachelor of Education graduate lady will have her password hacked and cracked. She is fresh from Mapito Mixed secondary and Day School.
2. Somewhere inside a network severed dark room, two men are deliberating in hushed tones. One is holding a cigar. They will be strategizing on how to bankrupt Dela-rue.
3. Instead of playing James Pierpont’s Jingle Bells, Kamau will be corrupting it. A famous gospel artist will be negotiating with a Spring Club Owner there. Just to hit the charts.
4. In a house with a protruding cross (a top), a man of cloth is counting mbegus. Thick envelopes eloping with tithes. Standing at the pulpit, his sermons punctuated by M-PESA messages. And an excited congregation accompanies them with a rousing “Amen”.
5. Down in the Valley Death a middle aged woman is fighting hyenas. In leafy suburbs a pot-bellied man will be Nyeri-fied by food. He spends the better part of the day in his "private lodge".
6. In Wafula's home, ingokhos will still be counting last hours if not seconds, some lucky to have made a short prayer. Others will not even utter "Ooh father, may this eater remember me" phrase.
7. Unwinding bends of Kipua (sorry they have running nose) village. Here someone is butchered like a helpless chicken. Reason, he can't munch words.
8. A reputable mheshimiwa will be paying a visit and money to paraphernalia-furnished man. She sparked a spirited fight inside Chambers.
9. Exhausted Omondi alias Laden Osama will be spotted holding 6.37 kg of a non-lethal hand grenade. He wants to hurl at his wife Petrolina, curiously she had slept with his neighbour.
10. Boxing day had sprung soon. A supersonic marathoner had forgotten his boxer at Mueni's place. She is his long lasting battery, I mean mpango wa kando.
11. The Eleventh hour, a Moi University Shop Owner is turning East and then West in bed. Probably, mourning the sudden death of the goodies (back in the shop).
12. The writer is grudgingly cursing his ink fading pen and 10.2cm radius Chapatis for leaving this piece ‘unfinished’. The stomach-ial injuries sustained prompted a sir-den rest. Have a Un-Nyerifying one.
FIVE THINGS YOU PROBABLY DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT CHRISTMAS
By Shiku Ngigi
I will tell you one thing though, whatever the story, Christmas is a special time. It is a time to be with loved ones, to give, to make merry, to take a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I will not forget the eating.
Have a Merry Christmas people, and a Happy New 2013!
- We all know of the three wise men from the East. Well, guess what? Not once has it been mentioned in the Bible that the wise men or the Magi were three in number. People came up with it all on their own, through traditions, probably because there were three gifts presented to the baby Jesus. Check Matthew 2 if you are still sceptical. For all we know, there is a possibility they were more than three. Maybe they were two. Hmmmm…
- Christmas has been deemed by many as a holiday with pagan beginnings. Apparently, Christmas borrowed heavily from the original celebrations of Saturnalia among Roman pagans. This festival was marked by every manner of lawlessness and the Christians sought a solution to it, Christmas. Therefore Christmas was not a pagan festival, contrary to popular belief that has been fuelled by folk who peddle the story. It was a festival to attract the pagans to Christianity by trying to convince them that they would still have celebrations even when converted. While that is still controversial, that is how we end up with the holiday today.
- Xmas. Wish a staunch Christian a ‘Merry Xmas’ and they will probably get offended. They will tell you that it is wrong to take Christ out of the word; after all, it is His birthday we are celebrating. Well, I am one of those people but I recently found out that X is from the Greek letter Chi, which translated is "Christ" according to Wikipedia. Lecturers may tell us not to cite Wikipedia, but we all know that assignments would be quite the task without it. Having said that, the claim is pretty legit. So if you can shorten every other word in a text to your friend, I assume shortening Christmas to Xmas may not be so bad. But come to think about it, it falls in the same class with the xaxas and xemas that have maimed the English language. In the end, it all boils down to your belief.
- This one we may all know. Jesus was not born on the 25th of December. Calendars changed and calculations here and there placed the day as one falling in the spring and voila! December 25 became the official date. Many years down the line, we all know that Jesus is the reason for the season and that is all that matters.
- Christmas traditions mostly practised in the West have evolved over the years. Most of us do not practise, say, kissing under the mistletoe but we do have Christmas trees and Santa Claus. Needless to say, I did not know he was called Santa Claus in my childhood, I only knew of Father Christmas. Controversy surrounds him too. He has been said to be evil, even branded “Satan’s Clause” or “Satan’s claws” by some religious leaders. Well, he is supposed to signify giving which we should all be focused on doing.
I will tell you one thing though, whatever the story, Christmas is a special time. It is a time to be with loved ones, to give, to make merry, to take a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. I will not forget the eating.
Have a Merry Christmas people, and a Happy New 2013!
Monday, December 24, 2012
HUMOUR: CHRISTMAS FROM A VILLAGE BUM’S PERSPECTIVE
By Kirong Shadrack
The Christmas season has reached a fever pitch and it is easy to tell. Not that I have spotted Santa Claus walking around my village. And doubt if that chubby fellow would leave the city and embark on our muddy roads. Tomorrow is the D-day. These days I have noticed Father Christmas runs on electricity.
Few days ago I saw a mechanical Santa with a mechanical face outside a supermarket in my town, and my drinking buddy thought it was real. We were part of a hired crowd who had gone to make up the numbers for an enthusiastic aspiring Senator. It was very embarrassing getting into an argument about it in front of all those people. My friend is such a village.
I like Christmas, because everyone is nice to the poor. At least they make an attempt to be nice. It is a particularly great time for the village bums. Between the politicians and the urban –based relatives, there is a lot of free alcohol around, gifts and promises to be delivered after the New Year.
Last year December Holiday, an aspiring MP donated a jerry can worth of local brew, all because we composed a praise song that must have really made him feel grand. We got so plastered the boys still talk about it one year later. Am told the said MP has since run out of money, I don’t see much of him, neither have I heard if he is still in the same race, a head of next year election. Ramours has it that he give up his candidacy attempt to another rookie, who understood the importance of keeping praise singers high on cheap liquor.
Well it is that time of the year when I really have a ball. My well – to –do relatives from the city will be around. Since I am the official village story teller, they really cannot have a kicking party without my valuable input. Everyone loves gossip. They are always curious to find out about every tit –bit of a story they got wind of back while in city.
Every year about this time, the village becomes quite vibrant. Not as many people come back like before, but a lot of the people who grew up will still show up to remind us how well – of they are in the city. For the first two days, they are always generous. We know the routine. The more they buy the more praise they get. Usually by the fourth day, they are broke, you will be lucky to get a twenty shilling to buy a credit card. Many of them prefer beer which is rather inefficient way of trying to get high. But you have to drink so much of stuff to get merry, not to mention the many visits to the loo!
I like the church people too, with their stories of salvation, telling us about how the baby Jesus is going to be born. They tell us to come to church but they always insist we seat at the back. The front seats are reserved for the visiting urban relatives who make generous donations. Our coins are not needed this time.
The only time church is interesting is during a wedding or a funeral. At least on both occasions you are guaranteed booze and food especially if it involves a prominent family. The other day a an aspiring politician called us for us for a Baraza in church and after talking what a humble servant of God he was and why he was the right person to be elected , he confidently offered us each a gorogoro of maize and wrinkled hundred shilling notes. Can you believe that?
Given his level of education, he should have realized that that the village nowadays has a cash economy. Even the mamas were not amused. I overheard some of them muttering and cursing under their noses, that the politician needed salvation for wasting their time. Having us walking all the way to the church to listen to his boring sermon for two kilos of maize! What a mean fellow. On that note I think I had enough! I can hear some loud speakers; some campaigners must be coming through. If can make it to road before the rest…will be a story for another day! Be tolerant with the villagers, after all it is a season for sharing!!
WISH YOU A MERRY XMASS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
The Christmas season has reached a fever pitch and it is easy to tell. Not that I have spotted Santa Claus walking around my village. And doubt if that chubby fellow would leave the city and embark on our muddy roads. Tomorrow is the D-day. These days I have noticed Father Christmas runs on electricity.
Few days ago I saw a mechanical Santa with a mechanical face outside a supermarket in my town, and my drinking buddy thought it was real. We were part of a hired crowd who had gone to make up the numbers for an enthusiastic aspiring Senator. It was very embarrassing getting into an argument about it in front of all those people. My friend is such a village.
I like Christmas, because everyone is nice to the poor. At least they make an attempt to be nice. It is a particularly great time for the village bums. Between the politicians and the urban –based relatives, there is a lot of free alcohol around, gifts and promises to be delivered after the New Year.
Last year December Holiday, an aspiring MP donated a jerry can worth of local brew, all because we composed a praise song that must have really made him feel grand. We got so plastered the boys still talk about it one year later. Am told the said MP has since run out of money, I don’t see much of him, neither have I heard if he is still in the same race, a head of next year election. Ramours has it that he give up his candidacy attempt to another rookie, who understood the importance of keeping praise singers high on cheap liquor.
Well it is that time of the year when I really have a ball. My well – to –do relatives from the city will be around. Since I am the official village story teller, they really cannot have a kicking party without my valuable input. Everyone loves gossip. They are always curious to find out about every tit –bit of a story they got wind of back while in city.
Every year about this time, the village becomes quite vibrant. Not as many people come back like before, but a lot of the people who grew up will still show up to remind us how well – of they are in the city. For the first two days, they are always generous. We know the routine. The more they buy the more praise they get. Usually by the fourth day, they are broke, you will be lucky to get a twenty shilling to buy a credit card. Many of them prefer beer which is rather inefficient way of trying to get high. But you have to drink so much of stuff to get merry, not to mention the many visits to the loo!
I like the church people too, with their stories of salvation, telling us about how the baby Jesus is going to be born. They tell us to come to church but they always insist we seat at the back. The front seats are reserved for the visiting urban relatives who make generous donations. Our coins are not needed this time.
The only time church is interesting is during a wedding or a funeral. At least on both occasions you are guaranteed booze and food especially if it involves a prominent family. The other day a an aspiring politician called us for us for a Baraza in church and after talking what a humble servant of God he was and why he was the right person to be elected , he confidently offered us each a gorogoro of maize and wrinkled hundred shilling notes. Can you believe that?
Given his level of education, he should have realized that that the village nowadays has a cash economy. Even the mamas were not amused. I overheard some of them muttering and cursing under their noses, that the politician needed salvation for wasting their time. Having us walking all the way to the church to listen to his boring sermon for two kilos of maize! What a mean fellow. On that note I think I had enough! I can hear some loud speakers; some campaigners must be coming through. If can make it to road before the rest…will be a story for another day! Be tolerant with the villagers, after all it is a season for sharing!!
WISH YOU A MERRY XMASS AND HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!
Sunday, December 23, 2012
PEELING BACK THE MASK – (MUSO VERSION)
By William Dekker
Ever since this current MUSO Students’ Governing Council (SGC) took to the helms of power, comrades are left with virtually nothing to count as a an effect of their effort. “Betrayal” to comradeship would even be substandard to use in this case. An era of errors, assorted with negligence, dormancy and laxity. Bila kuficha, I do solicit for rumours 25hours a day, and a confidant of mine just whispered to me that this current SGC is about “minting cash” rather than serving comrades’ desired interests. No wander you villains are not considering exiting your tenure as much as it’s so evident that its long overdue. This is unethical, backward and infidelity of the highest order.
I am not a politician and at the same time wouldn’t seek that cheap publicity by crowning myself a free thinker just like some people we know. Triggered by sincere emotions and the burning spirit of comradeship, I am hereby tempted to bring the battle royale to individuals by individuals without generalizing;
DIKEMBE DISEMBE
Just like Miguna Miguna, we are told to be vigilant over these people with “the same name twice”; Dikembe Disembe, Obilo Kobilo and etcetera. In this case I wonder if the twist in “S” and “K” makes a reasonable difference. I’m already tempted to start questioning the thinking of whoever gave you those two archaic names. That’s personal, am sorry. Back to the main agenda here;
Seth Dikembe Disembe, a potential being full of misconstrued bravado. You seem to possess the unconstructive energy that exhibits nothing worthwhile. I remember the days of MUSO campaigns that this pal used to write anything that came off his head just to assail the authorities in full force. Spoke like a savior, perhaps the best thing ever that SGC would ever find, and then all eyes were on you, alongside Doghana Florence. Now I know that even Obilo Kobilo who you termed as a “nincompoop” is 10times soberer than your hypocritical self. At least I saw him once or twice, I think thrice, attempting to seek justice for comrades who suffer the wrath of your negligence.
Amusingly, Dikembe has the audacity to pop out of the blues seeking cheap publicity on platforms such as the 3rd eye’s fan page in times of despair. You speak so candid with drunken fury addressing misplaced agenda. Of what help is it when a man of your caliber comes out blaming 4th years and other comrades in session for not standing up against sudden bus-fare hike? Yet all this time you have been hiding in your cocoon of comfort zone enjoying the dollars that you earn from MUSO student subscription fee and the vast allowances you get over nothing constructive. In such cases the best thing to tell such an individual is “shut-up”, but I would be a bit rude for today and tell Dikembe “CLOSE YOUR MOUTH!”
DOGHANA FLORENCE
Even before I begin I would like to ask you Mr. to drop this embarrassing self-induced title; “Mr. President”. It earns you more of downbeat image rather than the intended respect. Mr. President seems to be a gentleman of misplaced composure, uncalled for discipline and unnecessary linguistic proficiency. I remember you sailed through the MUSO cross-fire just by spitting the usual superfluous, redundant, outmoded English 101. Of what benefit is the mouthful verbal diarrhea if comrades cannot see the actual fruits of your bare pledges?. You belong to generation “W” or rather “generation Wazee”; the current generation is not muzzled by the volumes of vocabulary that you speak. Perhaps “how many bottles of KEG can you buy?” can be considered relevant but only in the times you were desperately seeking that high office in MUSO. Personally, the thrill is gone, I would rather see your tall-self walk along the academic highway rather than listen to the non-constructive lexis dictionary that you spit.
And then this would be more personal; the next time we meet please attempt to tuck-in your synonymous “kitenge” shirt. At least I appreciate the fact that you do often remove the iconic cap in a bid to show some respect as always, Kudos! But still please don’t look up in the sky, your usual trend, coz it leaves me in pains straining to catch up with your super-tall height. How do expect me to focus on you if you elevate your eyes further, focusing to some unknown destination? Perhaps one day you’ll reveal to me where.
I have just realized that I have spent a whole paragraph bringing our personal beef to public attention. No harm I guess. Now onto our agendum; in the same spirit and gusto I have dialogued with Dikembe; I hope you listen but don’t act, your term is gone. Just do us one favour, amidst two options; resign or dissolve your cabinet., fullstop!
KYALO
I would prefer getting more personal with you, now that you denied me that tender of designing “Freshaz nite” posters. Vividly, you gave it to your usual friends now that you can always “eat” together. Wait a minute, the semester is already past half-way and all we’ve seen is substandard “dundaz”. I remember our cultural week was a whack! “Thanks to your insignificant docket”. Let me remind you that the likes of KU even had international stars like Akon grace their occasion, while back here in Moi, even the simplest of all artists couldn’t make it. I hear you invited “Jamnazi Africa” and then expected me to pay for my usual VIP ticket @Ksh.500. What a shame!!! Next time, treat comrades with respect or otherwise forever we shall boycott those substandard dundaz you have planned and “fail them kama kawaida”.
The rest of SGC you are lucky I just forgot your names, but still you are part of the rotting morass, a bandwagon of colossal hypocrisy, the Judas of 2011-2012-2013. Perhaps you just get off power before this fury sinks in too deep to quell. Tick! Tock! Comrades clock are ticking! Deuces!
Ever since this current MUSO Students’ Governing Council (SGC) took to the helms of power, comrades are left with virtually nothing to count as a an effect of their effort. “Betrayal” to comradeship would even be substandard to use in this case. An era of errors, assorted with negligence, dormancy and laxity. Bila kuficha, I do solicit for rumours 25hours a day, and a confidant of mine just whispered to me that this current SGC is about “minting cash” rather than serving comrades’ desired interests. No wander you villains are not considering exiting your tenure as much as it’s so evident that its long overdue. This is unethical, backward and infidelity of the highest order.
I am not a politician and at the same time wouldn’t seek that cheap publicity by crowning myself a free thinker just like some people we know. Triggered by sincere emotions and the burning spirit of comradeship, I am hereby tempted to bring the battle royale to individuals by individuals without generalizing;
DIKEMBE DISEMBE
Just like Miguna Miguna, we are told to be vigilant over these people with “the same name twice”; Dikembe Disembe, Obilo Kobilo and etcetera. In this case I wonder if the twist in “S” and “K” makes a reasonable difference. I’m already tempted to start questioning the thinking of whoever gave you those two archaic names. That’s personal, am sorry. Back to the main agenda here;
Seth Dikembe Disembe, a potential being full of misconstrued bravado. You seem to possess the unconstructive energy that exhibits nothing worthwhile. I remember the days of MUSO campaigns that this pal used to write anything that came off his head just to assail the authorities in full force. Spoke like a savior, perhaps the best thing ever that SGC would ever find, and then all eyes were on you, alongside Doghana Florence. Now I know that even Obilo Kobilo who you termed as a “nincompoop” is 10times soberer than your hypocritical self. At least I saw him once or twice, I think thrice, attempting to seek justice for comrades who suffer the wrath of your negligence.
Amusingly, Dikembe has the audacity to pop out of the blues seeking cheap publicity on platforms such as the 3rd eye’s fan page in times of despair. You speak so candid with drunken fury addressing misplaced agenda. Of what help is it when a man of your caliber comes out blaming 4th years and other comrades in session for not standing up against sudden bus-fare hike? Yet all this time you have been hiding in your cocoon of comfort zone enjoying the dollars that you earn from MUSO student subscription fee and the vast allowances you get over nothing constructive. In such cases the best thing to tell such an individual is “shut-up”, but I would be a bit rude for today and tell Dikembe “CLOSE YOUR MOUTH!”
DOGHANA FLORENCE
Even before I begin I would like to ask you Mr. to drop this embarrassing self-induced title; “Mr. President”. It earns you more of downbeat image rather than the intended respect. Mr. President seems to be a gentleman of misplaced composure, uncalled for discipline and unnecessary linguistic proficiency. I remember you sailed through the MUSO cross-fire just by spitting the usual superfluous, redundant, outmoded English 101. Of what benefit is the mouthful verbal diarrhea if comrades cannot see the actual fruits of your bare pledges?. You belong to generation “W” or rather “generation Wazee”; the current generation is not muzzled by the volumes of vocabulary that you speak. Perhaps “how many bottles of KEG can you buy?” can be considered relevant but only in the times you were desperately seeking that high office in MUSO. Personally, the thrill is gone, I would rather see your tall-self walk along the academic highway rather than listen to the non-constructive lexis dictionary that you spit.
And then this would be more personal; the next time we meet please attempt to tuck-in your synonymous “kitenge” shirt. At least I appreciate the fact that you do often remove the iconic cap in a bid to show some respect as always, Kudos! But still please don’t look up in the sky, your usual trend, coz it leaves me in pains straining to catch up with your super-tall height. How do expect me to focus on you if you elevate your eyes further, focusing to some unknown destination? Perhaps one day you’ll reveal to me where.
I have just realized that I have spent a whole paragraph bringing our personal beef to public attention. No harm I guess. Now onto our agendum; in the same spirit and gusto I have dialogued with Dikembe; I hope you listen but don’t act, your term is gone. Just do us one favour, amidst two options; resign or dissolve your cabinet., fullstop!
KYALO
I would prefer getting more personal with you, now that you denied me that tender of designing “Freshaz nite” posters. Vividly, you gave it to your usual friends now that you can always “eat” together. Wait a minute, the semester is already past half-way and all we’ve seen is substandard “dundaz”. I remember our cultural week was a whack! “Thanks to your insignificant docket”. Let me remind you that the likes of KU even had international stars like Akon grace their occasion, while back here in Moi, even the simplest of all artists couldn’t make it. I hear you invited “Jamnazi Africa” and then expected me to pay for my usual VIP ticket @Ksh.500. What a shame!!! Next time, treat comrades with respect or otherwise forever we shall boycott those substandard dundaz you have planned and “fail them kama kawaida”.
The rest of SGC you are lucky I just forgot your names, but still you are part of the rotting morass, a bandwagon of colossal hypocrisy, the Judas of 2011-2012-2013. Perhaps you just get off power before this fury sinks in too deep to quell. Tick! Tock! Comrades clock are ticking! Deuces!
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