SIX ACADEMIC HOTSPOTS IN MOI VARSITY

By Kirong Shadrack

Heard of President Woodrow Wilson 14 principles of peace in History? Moi too has its principles, not of peace but special in its kind. Will call them ‘SIX ACADEMIC HOTSPOTS’. If you never witnessed them then you are a ‘miracle graduate’.

1. Examination rooms – unpleasant place to be especially if you have nothing in between you ears during the material day. History has that; there is no divine intervention once you are in. Just like any other ceremony, preparation starts with bouncing classes, and at times handing in half –baked assignments. Reaches climax when the master of ceremony ‘examinee’ meets the ultimate host ‘examiner’. The results will depend on your ACADEMICTRICKS.it has names like Kanisa (LH1), Kichinjoni (Plaza)…..et cetera.

2. Gym na Wasee wa gym – these guys they got the face of politicians. They however put on baby – tight vests to mark their identity, unlike our Rugby 7s team, these group are not so much lady’s men. They grace boring occasions like Freshas Night or Kadundas, but with one agenda; to unleash their potential to any comrade who show any sings of disturbing peace. The only time their bulging chests are recognized is during annual Mr and Miss Moi event. And if you think they are powerful try. One almost got knocked off his teeth at the local pub at stage for trying to showcase his talent. And the self- made boxer had to be restrained, to preserve his new found talent for Boxing Day

3. Hostels – heard of Koinange street (Hostel K), Lavington(L), Central Business District(H)and its satellite Hostels( Upperhil,Mabatini, Diaspora).Here all kinds of ‘transactions’ take place. World best records are broken depending on the training camp you signed contract on. I hear base makers are never given a second chance. Until Further’, notice,’ postponed’….terms synonymous with the institution are a voc in this places. The famous story of a lovebird who fled her love nest in the wee hours of the night , in her birth day suit to her room when she could stand the heat, just confirms how often people are serious with business here!

4. Crossfire – as the name suggest, the place has an element of fire crossing. It is the place where political resolutions are made. Will give you a piece of advice for free. It is a requisite for before you attend this assembly that; you must have fully graduated from Miguna Migunas School of decorating speech, writing, cramming, sputtering words and arrogance. My former roommate Ndege, a rapper –come- a politician will tell you.

Victory is not by accident. First you have to assemble all the professional noisemakers in the institution, depending on your pocket. And you make sure that, they seat in order of their experience and gender. Beautiful ladies dressed in little exposing, ‘Mutula skirts ‘always occupy the front seats. Silly irritating questions are asked ranging, from whom you have slept with?, how many ladies you have impregnated?, to imaginary alleged money you stole. In short they are telling you are better a bedroom warden than accommodation Director.

luckily there is no throwing throwing of stones, but instead ‘man- made stones’ harmless papers, just in case you become a nuisance. Unnoticed are tribal Chiefs, seated at different junctions, smiling as they allow their subjects to do the obvious, heckling. One aspirant broke into his luhyha – English blaming the media when things got hot, ‘ Metia pwana!..Metia pwana!..itakuchenga na itakumalisa !!

5. Kamukunji – don’t mistake this place for the famous a Agora market in Athens, where great Thinkers and Philosophers gathered. On contrary this is the venue where heroes and heroines are manufactured. Only meant for the veterans.

And whenever you take the podium the temperatures rises. And don’t be mistaken by the voices of aroused beautiful ladies ,confused men on the front guard and charged crowd chanting, toboa! toboa!... and you start letting everything out of the bag! Because when they leave it will not take long before reality dawns on you that the place has a second name ‘FRUSTRATION SQUARE’. And you might be left counting your days in the institution.

6. Graduation Square – a final destination where it marks the end of your troubles and confusion in Moi.But ironically ushers in another chapter of troubles and confusions. It’s the only day you can afford a genuine smile for the years you have stayed here. Just like the trooping of colours by our forces during National holiday, the annual occasion is graced by all Profs, Drs….as acting Commanders –in –Chiefs. Converged by a common goal; to confer to you the powers and oath not to go and proclaim the bad things and hardship you sustained while a bonafide students, but to be Ambassadors of their ‘gospel’.

And to usher the ‘warriors’ graduands, are the villagers, who come in convoys and buses’. A day indeed you feel you should not part ways with your friends, classmates. But thanks for the villagers who are there to make you forget fast, with their traditional victory songs. Arriving at the main gate however is the harsh realtiy that greets you in the outside world. And to confirm this is another signpost on the right from the Varsity emblazoned harshly….KWA HERI YA KUONANA HUSIRUDI HAPA TENA!!!...