Friday, August 26, 2011

Media Week

The Moi University Press club-The 3rd Eye is taking this early opportunity to invite everyone to their Media Week forums from 8th September to 10th September2011.Prominent media personalities will be in attendance .

For more information visit our fanpage on facebook or our information desk as from Monday next week.

For enquiries contact:

Chairman:Nyamweya Bw”Omari-0732800470

Secretary General:Koome Kimonye-0728543431

MISS MOI ON THE STREETS

By Joey Omaita

When you think of a beauty queen, a lot of things come to mind – beauty, elegance, and stunning smiles; and of course charity, jiggers and anti-AIDS campaigns are some of the words that come to mind. Ever wondered what our very own Miss Moi has been up to? Well, it’s apparently a lot to do with street kids!

The reigning Miss Moi, Lencer Adhiambo, is an UTU ambassador. Utu is a rehabilitation centre that seeks to alleviate the suffering of our street children right here in Eldoret Town. Founded by Serah Flemmer, the organization aims to empower the ordinary street child academically and psychologically, giving them the power to be self-dependant.

We all know about the drama and trauma associated with street life. An estimated 3000 children are all over the town streets, running riot: begging, gambling, robbing, sometimes working, but the saddest scenario remains their tragic involvement in drugs. Hardly will you pass by two street kids without seeing a can of glue in hand. They sniff faithfully, their eyes casting a sad, hungry and pitiful, despondent look. You begin to wonder how they get by in these harsh times and these criminally harsh weather conditions. Injuries, parasites, diseases, extreme hunger. . .

And so Miss Moi has come out to appeal to the entire Moi University fraternity to assist in this humanitarian course. Through Utu, street children between the ages of 5 and 12 will get a chance and a platform to become better people. They’ll get another shot at a better life; a conducive surrounding for growth, by empowering them and their families to be responsible and not depend on help systems.

The children undergo a four-stage process that involves the initial contact with social workers, then an invitation to their Utu drop-in center where they are closely monitored for 10 weeks. A case history check of the child is then conducted, as well as an assessment of the situation at their home. The children undergo an educational program consisting of both formal education and informal lessons in farming, arts, sports and anti-aggression training.

They stay at the rehab center for up to two and a half years, by which time they’ll have been integrated back into their families and the community. Suitable children’s homes are found for those without family. The parents are also empowered by the Utu volunteers through counseling, entrepreneurship workshops and even micro-credits to aid them in providing for their kids.

If you would like to support Miss Moi through this worthy cause, you may contact them on phone through 0703811133 or reach them via email: uturehab@yahoo.com.


Future diseases for comrades

By Lau Lawi

There are some things that we do and take them for granted. They may come to have great impacts in our lives in the near or far future. Below are some of the possible diseases that some of us may suffer by 2040.they include:

1.Kusororwosis.This is a disease that will be caused by a bacteria called kusororwo bancrofti.It will be suffered by those who pass by student centre wearing scanty clothing. Its main transmission method will be through the eyes of those idlers at the Frustration Square. This disease will be very severe to those who are ‘escorted’ with eyes as they pass at the student centre.

2..Sukumiosikor eateosis.This is carried in a dormant form in the sukumas we buy at mama mbogas.It will affect those who never visit the butchery. This is much of a condition rather than a disease. Those who just eat sukuma and when they change diet they eat cabbages. The name of the carrier bacteria is yet to be identified but research is ongoing.

3.Mwaksiokoma ;The carrier bacteria has been identified ,its scientific name is mwaksiokori eateris.The bacteria is very active in the mwakenya and the temperatures of LH1 tends to speed up its activation. This will be suffered by those who have a tendency of swallowing mwakenyas during exams.They will have made numerous trips to the house on the hill to answer charges of exam cheating.

4.Kadundalaria;This is a disease that will be caused by a virus called tunataka kadundiaris.It is very active in dim lit Student Centres and a bottle or more of mututho liquid can activate it to extreme life threatening levels.It has symptoms of a bend-over walking style and wapi-nduruing as they walk along the academic highway.

5.Blackoutshoutosis;This is a disease that will be suffered by those ladies living mostly in hostel J.The symptoms will be characterized by shouts of Olando! Olando! Even when they are asleep. It will also affect those people who cohabit in the said Hostel. The virus is said to be very contagious and men should cease from being in vulnerable Hostels even if its 7:00 pm. The scientific name of its carrier virus is lightius blackoutis. Beware of this virus because its spreading to Hostel H. Minor cases has been reported in Hostel H in the recent past.

6.Pirate-exilostoma;This is one of the harmful diseases that may be suffered . It will be suffered by those people who go to exile so that their roomies can theme. This makes you even run to the cow shed and bangaiza as your wife/husband is sleeping. It is suspected to be caused by a bacteria of the cocci genre. It is yet to be established whether its piratea exilococci or exilosis pirateococci.

7.Room-i-kosaosis;This is a disease that will be suffered around 2026 according to the latest case study .the study was lead by students living in stage and the outskirts of Moi University primary school. Its versatility will be accelerated by rainy days which will force gumboot wearing. It is said to be caused by a very lethal virus mutagen called muso-kuunganishia-watu- wao –roomsiosis. It is also fueled by a condition called tunajuana-na-janitor tribalismosis.

8. Suplementarydectoma ;This is a lethal disease that has some symptoms similar to heart attack. It is still being studied in the lab. However, some probable causes are said to be lecturer-alipoteza-marks and it has also been reported in people admitted suffering from mwaksiokoma.

Courtesy of Elvo


SKIMPY THREATENED!!!!!

By Clifford Ogutu

Evening activities on Wednesday were brought at a standstill at the Eldoret main stage after angry matatu touts threatened to strip down a Moi campus female student. The bizarre incident took place at around 5 pm. The female student arrived at the stage in the company of her boyfriend not knowing what was awaiting her.

She was dressed in a revealing skimpy outfit that aroused the anger of some touts while some simply whistled and ogled at her. The lady was suddenly confronted by the mob and threatened to make her walk naked. This did not go well with her boyfriend who tried to protect the girlfriend and tried to intervene so as to avoid the embarrassment that was looming ahead. He got a rude shock when he was shoved aside and almost beaten by the mob.

The lady survived the wrath of the touts when police officers came to her rescue and took her and the boyfriend to the police station. After a short while they were escorted back to the stage by a police along with the touts who warned her never to dress in such a manner again. The two frightened couples then boarded a Moi main campus bound vehicle as they were whisked away unceremoniously.

Diary of freshers night

The night was black

……pitch black

Without a doubt it was a Friday

Yaani…furahiday

And the snake-like queue

On a hundred shillings each, was a cue

And a celebrity attraction ,was the brew

One weiver like the law giver

One ledger that could scare away any liver

It was a ritual of endangered species

Where the prey and the predator, cooked a receipy

Within walls of student center in a symphony

That was d’js’ for epiphany

And the floor was opened for harmony

To an atmospheric craving for a company’s canopy

Wasn’t a night for continuing students

Not a night for stale beauties and gents

But a night for only fresh saints,

Fresh air yaani freshers with fresh scent,

Of a stamp engraved on hands, having a unison sense,

That old folks……………..maybe old folks, they are ancient,

And themselves, represent campus new incense.

The climax was beyond any compliment

The one and only…..made a memorable testament,

Jaguar graced the stage ,making it a monument,

That made some heart, bid for allotments,

Because ,his swagger was on point like an appointment,

Which proved, that “kigeugeu” enchantment

VOTE FOR THIS WITH CONFIDENCE

By David Mwitari

Honourable comrades I have a motion to move. Before I am through with it ,you will have realized how inspirational it is especially to our fellow newcomers. Mark you, the old folks of this palace of higher learning should conceal either their ears from hearing or the eyes from perusing through this motion. Trust me, it will create jobs and bring into action new ideologies to our newcomers. However, if the old folks do the contrary, I will masquerade with the heartbroken, the coil blowers and the engineers of “supps” at the fire assembly as Lau Lawi hinted .In addition it will instill new senses to the pioneers of maandazi, credo and soft loan entities. Allow me to take you through these fertile and un utilized business frontiers.

At first, let me commend the old folks for realizing we needed to add our weight thus they brought the chipo cafeterias around the Soweto mess. But since I guess you never dream these days you had no revelation of the chipo mwitu investment. For your information they go as cheap as ten bob.What our newcomers have to do is register with the kamua club.This club trains on how to siphon oil from the transformers which they should use to roast their potatoes.When i visited our fellow comrades at the Jerusalem city(KU),I found out they have already been oriented in it.The streets leading to their bedsitters and single rooms are full of these investors who are getting a dwindling profit.

Secondly ,I have not seen any suspected sugarcane vendor moving round the desperation desk merchandising this sweet watered sponge. The question of a clean environment is out of context since even the biblical Zacheaus collected only the tax, he had no business of researches on environmental science .I figured out how romantic it is to sit at the desperation desk while taking your jaws on a jogging exercise , as you prepare for a vibe.

Once more, I do not see any objection if I say the condom ATMs are normally refilled everyday but you get them empty which brings the question of where the dudes in this palace of higher learning get the libido from whereas no njugu karanga hawkers hover around. Don’t you see how thriving this investment can be?As they are called alias karu, we should from now see guys actively distributing them especially around the well known Hostel Semenya and koinange estates which will definitely be a fruitful endevour. For promotional purposes the doors should from now read labels like ‘tunachoma na kuuza njugu karanga hapa’

Consequently ,I have been wondering whether primates of this palace of higher learning do not break their cups,plates and basins. This is because chomelea and malimali intruders never trespass here. From now what you are supposed to do is to join me in litting fire in crown paint jerrican to start moving along fixing the plastics which are lying in your lodgings. Belief me, this department is as fertile as Migingo and Ugingo Island .Lastly,I will be cleaning your shoes at the exit from the stage market from now since when my in-laws came to allow me feast on my charming sweetheart, I embarrassed them by tacking on my trouser in my socks to avoid dirtifying it an act we find nothing wrong when it rains in the land where the horizon is the end of the earth.

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