WHY HE’S STARING AT YOU

By Joey Omaita

A lady starts to feel uncomfortable whenever a man’s gaze lasts ‘longer than it should’. You’ve probably had those moments at Studie, haven’t you? And it gets even more uncomfortable he’s staring down at your bust while you go on and on . . .

Don’t blame us, we’re visual creatures. That’s no news. And the prettier faces attract the longer stares. It’s probably why the more attractive ladies are notorious for not finding time to develop themselves in other areas – they ride on their looks. The most brilliant minds among the female species are hardly crowd pullers, right?

It’s been evident since the biblical times of Adam, Jacob and Samson, that a woman possesses the power to confuse, disarm and even trick a man easily. And once she gets into his mind, it becomes like a case of a software installation – conditioning, manipulating and at times even ‘formatting’ his brain. But don’t flatter yourselves, ladies, it doesn’t last a lifetime; only the initial stages. The thrill is in the chase. And you wonder why Jacob was willing to work 7 more years for Rachael?

The renowned psychologist, Sigmund Freud, asked “what then, does a woman want?” When you ask the same of men, it’s not much of a puzzle. Study after study, males have been found to prefer female characteristics that signify reproductive capacity. For instance, a woman with baby-faced features (like large eyes) hints at great reproductive potential and non-dominance. It’s apparently a case of physical appearance mattering most.

This is all embedded in the genetic make-up of a man, so psychologists say. The woman’s intellect really seems to weigh in less as far as a man is concerned. Beautiful kids matter more. And while a woman would also love to have the same, ‘security’ for her offspring matters more. It turns out that everybody’s natural instinct is to ensure continuity of their genes through healthy offspring, with all the desirable features and lacking in nothing.

Nicholas Sarkozy married a young attractive woman – young enough to be his daughter. So did Kijana Wamalwa, King Mswati, Zuma and countless other ‘loaded fellas’. Have you seen the personal ads in the local papers? A young, beautiful woman seeks an older man of higher social status. The perfect combination, you might say. Some men even worship their spouses for their appearance!

It is not, however, all doom and gloom for the homely ladies out there. To chop off a large chunk of the emphasis on attractiveness, there’s a lot more that attracts a man in a woman. For long-term purposes and for a man to truly fall in love – if there’s really such a thing – the woman has to be of substance. That becomes the biggest task.

A stunning face creates an adrenaline rush in any man. That’s short term. A desirable character makes the man want more. Wit, charm, humility and genuine kindness. And there’s something about a confident woman that just destabilizes any man . . .

Apparently, men’s minds are not that simple after all. We seem to have two different scales against which we measure women. One on physical appearance, the ‘front-end’ and the other on character, the ‘back-end’. And while there’s no such thing as a perfect woman, the right mix of these factors will do just great. If you don’t score highly on the first scale, make sure you are awesome on the other!

Join me this Friday in assessing the desires of a woman.