NOW THAT THERE’S MOYOMA . . .
This article was published on Wednesday 13th Oct, 2010. It was written by Elvis Ondieki who was The 3rd Eye Chairperson 2010/2011.
MOYOMA = Moi University Young Mothers Association, formed by the Muso Health Director (Winnie Adoyo of the 24th SGC).
Objectives: To take care of the female comrades who’ve gone the family way.
Tentative mottos (mine): “The ball is our court.” or “Familiarity breeds contempt and children.”
Elvis Ondieki has other suggestions in the same direction . . .
1.MOI UNIVERSITY OMENA CONSUMERS ASSOCIATION (MUOCA)
OBJECTIVE: To protect omena cooks against stigmatization and stereotyping.
MOTTO: “Haripu china chenga mwiri yawa.”
2. MOI UNIVERSITY HOSTEL K SUBSCRIBERS ASSOCIATION (MUHKSA)
OBJECTIVE: To unite all the guys who have girlfriends in K.
MOTTO: “In pursuit of vitamin K.”
3. MOI UNIVERSITY CHINA PHONE OWNERS ASSOCIATION (MUCHPOA)
OBJECTIVE: To cushion the heartbreaks users of those phones get.
MOTTO: “Victims of circumstances.”
4. MOI UNIVERSITY FASHION DISASTERS ASSOCIATION (MUFDA)
OBJECTIVE: To help the shagzmondoz and taomondoz who wear too little or too much feel at home.
MOTTO: “ . . . then Adam and Eve realized that they were naked.”
5. MOI UNIVERSITY KNOW MWAKENYA SOCIETY (MUKMS)
OBJECTIVES: To provide margarine to those who swallow mwakenyas in exam rooms; to teach new members on emerging trends in mwakenya usage; to offer first aid skills for comrades who’ve choked of mwaks; to merge Google with mwaks; to promote understanding between invigilators and mwaksists.
MOTTO: “Najivunia kuwa na mwakenya.”
6. MOI UNIVERSITY VERTICALLY CHALLENGED STUDENTS ASSOCIATION (MUVECHASA)
OBJECTIVES: To protect the rights of all short men; to ensure they have girlfriends.
MOTTO: “The shorter the monkey, . . .”
7. MOI UNIVERSITY SEWAGE FOETUSES ASSOCIATION (MUSEFA)
OBJECTIVE: To ensure that the foestuses swim freely once they have been uploaded on YouTubes leading wastes to the sewage.
MOTTO: “The spermatozoon that made me was the fastest swimmer of that night.”
8. WOMEN IN FREE ENTERPRISE - MOI (WIFE - MOI)
OBJECTIVE: To ensure that those ladies who sleep around searching for money get paid promptly.
MOTTO: “Lack of money is the root of all evil.”
9. MOI UNIVERSITY NGUMU SELLERS ASSOCIATION (MUNGU SEA)
OBJECTIVES: To encourage members to use the term ‘Ngumuz’ and not ‘Ngumus’ when advertising; to organize for ferrying of stocks in time; to look for latest ways of making ngumuz sexier.
MOTTO: “Tumeamua kukaa ngumu.”
10. MOI UNIVERSITY ARCHIVES UNION (MUAU)
OBJECTIVES: To consolidate the ladies living in E and Upper Hill; to ensure that dudes at least go to those hostels; to provide services needed for elderly women; to get better care of the aged.
MOTTO: “Denial ain’t just a river in Egypt.”
11. MOI UNIVERSITY SUICIDE ATTEMPTERS ASSOCIATION (MUSAA)
The writer is the immediate former Chairperson of MUPC, The 3rd Eye and was a Literature major in the School of Arts.