Wednesday, February 29, 2012

THE SHAMBA BOY SERIES: WHEN THE NOISE GOES DOWN... Part 2

By Maalim Salat

This new group of directors make me laugh whenever I meet them on the high way. They are all skinny. On their faces is written ‘SOS’ in bold and in capital letters. One would feel like buying them a soda to help them survive. They are all hungry. Reason? Because tenders bado!


By the time we open for the next academic year, they will all be wearing suites and pinching peoples’ noses. ‘you should know people,’ they will say instead of the hugs and smiles. Remember our former headboy? He was Mwambuzi Mwang’ombe Mwangamia. Just because he was given a big room in Ngeria and enough money to fill his wallets, he changed his name to Edwin. At least his girlfriend can proudly say “my sweety is Edwin” instead of “anaitwa Mwang’ombe”.


The new skinny guys have names suggesting they are hungry for our money. Consider our new prefect of money. Ati “Jewel Wale Nakula” simply means ‘that money I will eat’. He will then put the blame on the innocent Obwogo.
Last week I shared with you reasons why I woke up early and voted for some guys and didn’t for others. Here are some more;

Mr. Titus Mururu.
This guy ako na chinda ya matumichi. I gave him a sympathy vote because he reminded me of my former English teacher in the village. “My name is nteyntas mololo and am fying for mpost of hankatemic tailekta. When you nfote for me, hindanet will be efelewhere ingludin the ntoilets”. A symbol of my teacher, how can I deny him my vote? When he visited my room, I almost told him “waja kuhamisha hamisha ingilish. Weka bahali yake”. Please clap for him! Again! Thank you.

Miss Boiling Chem-chai v/s Nyoka-bi
I can bet no one from Nyeri voted for her. Her name suggests that she is always angry and boiling in such a way that you can make tea out of her sweat. Guys from Nyeri hawataki kumwagiwa maji moto and hence would not vote for her as the health prefect. Si hata wewe unajua clinic yetu hakuna dawa? If you get hot water on your face utaenda wapi? I voted for her because I come from a community that worships tea. I knew if I vote for her, atanichemshia chai whenever I visit her. The wife of a snake (bi-nyoka) did not get many votes because her name suggests she can only poison and not give afya.

Mr. i-knock-or-gag v/s Mwashi-gaidi
He is tall and has the chest to knock mashoka out of this university. I almost did not vote for him because his name suggests that that he will knock o- gag the media if we mention his name anywhere after he steals money meant for Hostel-M. I only had to vote for him because he was competing with the local Al-Qaida representative, mwashi-gaidi. If mwashi-gaidi won, he would have bombed and completely destroyed Hostel-M instead of building it.

Mr. Child-law
And indeed ako na sheria ya utoto. He is the prefect in-charge of music and bend-over. He went to every room and danced. He is the only guy who went to all the 495 rooms in hostel-K and danced. He went to the Somali community and told them to vote for him because his mother was a Somali. “si you see venye nimekonda?,” he had said to them. He also said the same to the Maasai and Kalenjin communities. Chics voted for him because he could dance. I voted for him because he weighs 37kgs; 7kgs heavier than the lastborn. It is easy to detect, by the end of his tenure, whether he has stolen the entertainment money or not.

THE MEMORY OF A FLY

By Obilo K'Obilo

An interesting story has been told in the world of literature umpteenth times. Its a story which I’ve always read, re-read and finally conceptualize in relation to this society-Main campus. The story is about the memory of a fly. Any fly be it westernised or Kesses-born have one tying feature in common: their memory is so short, brief and temporal that no sooner do you attempt to smash it than it returns to its regular mischief which almost cost its life. In short their memory is warped and they’re ease in retention.


The underlying memorabilia of the re-birth of this particular analogy is how this current SGC was always at tenterhooks with the 25th usually looking for the slightest of opportunity to spew venom while turning an ant hill into a mountain.


You see castigating any pro-reform exponents while extolling the virtues of status quo is a despicable piece of intellectual hogwash. A good number of the current SGC were up in cries all over the compound calling the then directors names...pretenders, thieves of tenders, anti-reformists but as they say in Luo only the shoe wearer knows where it pinches most. Now the tables have turned, two weeks into the office and silence is still brewing over the shop tendering saga-know official communication on the same, no official communication concerning the SGC night discussions, no official communication concerning the agendas of this “revolution-based” 26th SGC!


Back to the memory of a fly tale, a hotly contested debate ensued during the selection of the Muso Editor-in Chief along the corridors of media on the criteria to be used and who should seat on the interviewing panel. Some of the current Directors were at the forefront championing for a professional panel of students be formed to carry out the task. They criticised the then selection panel claiming its a political gimmickry meant to reward political sycophants. Now that they’re part of the decision making body why do they do exactly what they criticised earlier? The answer is simple...THE MEMORY OF A FLY.


That is why everyone amidst us must find something to believe in and hold it firmly no matter what crosses your way. We’ve never found something exactly which we want changed in MUSO but we only engage our mouths to call for change whenever we’re given an opportunity. This how the previous SGC s joined the train destined to failure and don’t look any longer this how this one is almost boarding the same train. If the Mwamburi’s group began their journey this way a part from a cover up public swearing while this one organized a back-door notes comparing meeting which the media was almost being thrown out by the people who claim to be ready to do things differently...Are we not being exploited in the assumption of the memory of a fly?


The two indicators for the success of any SGC in this institution have always been the tendering process and the selection of the Editor-In-Chief. The latter has always been a reward to the most hanger-on and loyal sycophant to any influential director. They do things for formality while knowing inwardly like in tendering process their destination. Political appointees since time immemorial have never raised an eye brow to question their appointing authorities. Why did Miguna Miguna wait until he was shown the door to treat us to such political lemonade of lemons that populate his demise from the premier’s office?


As usual, the current SGC is just employing the same tricks used by the previous one to deny this organization the transparency it yearns for. Where on earth have you heard an interview to employ a doctor being carried out by a pilot or a farmer? This exercise is meant to test whether we’ve the memory of a Fly and the applicants who applied should make it known to the panel that the profession of journalism doesn’t entertain the memory of a fly! 


To end the culture of behind the scene operations, the Editor-In-Chief must be appointed by a neutral and professional authority: This will safe us the agony of missing very vital information regarding this organization since a political appointee who is playing to the tune of his bosses has sealed it off the public.

IRD105: TOILET ETIQUETTE

By Steve Karathi

Even with all my love of words there are some words I use with caution. Mind you, am not referring the curse and swear words; those I use in abundance. Am thinking of two words most comrades would identify with: intellectuals and scholars. These are words I dread and it is my opinion they should be used sparingly. In our perceived pseudo intelligence, we can pass for scholars and intellectuals but a pragmatic look at the things happening around campus depicts otherwise.


I don’t mean to be gross but kindly allow me to talk dirty, no I mean filthy. I want to talk about the act and art of shitting. I am aware of the effect that the use of the words shit and art on the same line could have to our dear comrades in the school that identifies with the latter. They are guys who have been on the receiving end of unrelenting, caustic and seething criticism, at times justified, though mostly wrong and overtly condescending. 


However, it is not my intention to propagate this tired epithet; rather, I wish to question the unbecoming behavior, which I believe irritates most of you too: toilet etiquette. We all visit the loo and there is an unwritten code of decorum we are expected to observe in those cubicles. Here in campus, the activity is taken to another level making it an art that require mastery if not perfection.

For guys, hostel D is the introduction phase of how tortuous and intricate defecation can be. The bowls are ever filled, the floors always flooded the whole place is a mess. Getting accustomed to this situation is a constant headache. Some guys discover of that pit latrine ant the far corner near the school of business while a few others opt to visit the loo in their schools. Surely only an inveterate moron can sit on those bowls since they are covered with excrement a few minutes after washing. This is replicated in all hostels and it should shame you if you have not flushed the toilet today after leaving your mess there.


For an institution full of the so called intellectuals, it beat me why we still have guys who lack the basic manners of using a toilet. May be that does not sound a lot but it scream of irresponsibility. If you cannot flush a toilet after taking a dump then you have a big lesson to learn from a three year old kid in a kindergarten. I used to blame lack of water and clogged toilets, but now seeing it happen in the new washrooms confirms that the problem lies with us.


It was a relief to see the completion of the external ablution block but it is unfortunate that the artists have discovered them. The sight of freshly furnished door and clear white tiles has triggered their creativity culminating in a new form of art where the paint is the excrement and their fingers are the brush. I cringe to think we have guys in campus me who forget a t.p. but remember to take a pen with them to the toilet. 


I also wonder how, when hanging precariously on the almost filled bowl, you still get time to write on the toilet and smear the wall with your stool. Do you do this in your home? If not, why do it here? What could you be thinking when you wipe your underside with your bare hands?

I wonder if the university should consider introducing a compulsory course that should deal purely on how to take a dumb. Before then, let’s try and change.

THE SENIOR SPEAKS OUT

By Mwangi Guru

The problem with giving big seats to inexperienced juniors is that the juniors get so drunk with power that they forget what it is that they stand for. Even before the 26th SGC has understood the spirit of the comrades, some of them have already started insulting the very comrades that gave them the power they wield.


That Dikembe Disembe is the SG, we have no doubt. We voted him in by the majority. Trying to shove his position into our heads is where the rubber meets the road. Mr. Dikembe, it’s true that you hold the key to the powerful office of the Sec Gen. it is also true that you have ‘work’ to ensure that all Main Campus students enjoy fundamental rights. 


We respect you in that capacity. The problem is: who asked you to remind us of your position? I am of course referring to your Facebook post where you made it clear who you are. Don’t we know? In case you have forgotten, you are dealing with intellectuals who have more important business rather than your ego. Trying to stamp your authority just brings you out as a sweet fellow with feathers in the head.


Another problem with Mr. Dikembe is that he suffers from some degree of naivety, or how do you explain the childish outburst about living in stage if you want luxury? How does Dikembe understand the word luxury? Dikembe’s Facebook post is far fetched. He needs to understand that there is nothing luxurious about living in the ‘senior hostels’. He apparently believes what he wants to believe.


I also fail to understand why our sec gen is rude. Has he forgotten that those living in the ‘senior hostels’ did not make a law to permit their residence there; they balloted. Saying they are selfish and insensitive just shows how emotional and full of grudge he is. We need a secretary general who can hold himself together and not an emotional boy who forgets that there is a world beyond his nose.


We understand that Dikembe has great zeal to reform. We also believe that he has the capacity to do just that. However, packing comrades in a room like passengers in Kenyan matatus is a wrong move. Has Mr. Dikembe ever considered why the rooms have only two cabinets? Or do we need to collect signatures to prove to him that it is because they were meant for two people? 


Mr. Dikembe should focus his revolution on incomplete hostels. Or is he admitting incapability that he can do nothing to negotiate completion of hostel M? However, we excuse him for he understands that he can do little in one year in the line of hostel completion. The only option for him to leave a legacy is to strain hostel resources after convincing us that some people live in luxury.


A certain proverb goes: the first degree of folly is to think thee wise, the second is to tell others so, and the third is to despise counsel. Above all remember that humility often gains more than pride. Mr. Dikembe, I advice you to take your time to seek diverse opinion before thumping your chest lest you prove that indeed there is no putting old heads on young shoulders.

Monday, February 27, 2012

OBWOGO FINALLY SPEAKS OUT..

By Nyamweya Bw'Omari and Moses Nyamori

The embattled 25th SGC’s Finance Director Mr. Cyprian Obwogo, has finally broken his long silence and countered corruption allegations levelled against his office by the media and even his fellow directors whom he served with.

Obwogo, who has in the recent past hit Campus Media headlines for all the wrong reasons, decided to defend his tenure in office saying that the claims made against him are insincere and were used by his fellow directors as a scapegoat. The disgusted director said that some of the directors accusing him of non-performance and misappropriation of funds are ‘worse than him’.

“Other directors have made more claims (funds) than I have done. The ones you think have been advocating for your rights are the ones who have been ‘sucking’ you dry.” Said the pained director.

On being asked about why he has been absconding the SGC meetings including the latest hand over ceremony held last week on Thursday, he said some of the meetings have ‘no agenda’ and are just being used to make their allowance claims. He also added that the purportedly well communicated hand over meeting came to his attention minutes its commencement and could not attend since he had a sit-in CAT.

“It was very unprofessional for the chair (Mr. Mwamburi) to inform me of the meeting some minutes before it started. Mwamburi found me wrapped in my towel preparing for a sit-in CAT. Was I supposed to attend the ‘impromptu’ meeting or go sit for my CAT?” he lamented.

“The atmosphere created was that of grilling Mr. Obwogo. If they had any agenda, why couldn’t they question me during the joint Friday Dinner at Guest House? They only came to eat chicken and go.” Added Obwogo.
MUSO Cyber computers not stolen
The enraged outgoing Finance Director denied claims that he had stolen computers from Muso Bureau at the Students’ Centre saying that the three functional computers he found when he got into office are in the Vice Chairperson’s office at the Studie. He also added that the three computers were of no benefit to the organisation as they were constantly bringing losses which led to the eventual closure of the premise by Chairperson Mwamburi, Secretary General Okeri and the Academics Director Mr Silas Ong’aro.

However, he said he was against the move and tried to convince the three officials not to close it but instead look for a lasting solution for the same. Unfortunately, they went on and closed it. He later wrote a proposal for requisition of new materials and computers, which he says because of the bureaucracy in the Procurement Office, the proposal up to now has not been worked on.

In the exclusive interview with The 3rd Eye, Mr. Obwogo cautioned comrades not to be quick to judge him wrong and persecute him before knowing who the real thieves (in Muso) are. He also said that his office is only being used by the other directors to create a perception that they were angels and performed as expected.

“What have these other directors given to comrades? Has anybody ever told you how they make false claims amounting to hundreds of thousands claiming that they attend non-existent meetings and use my name to withdraw cash without my consent? If you don’t believe me, I will show you how each director has been spending and then you will tell me who the real thief is.” Said the Finance Director.

He has since vowed to release a DOSSIER of all the financial claims and expenditures for each docket during his tenure and leave it to comrades to decide on whom they should persecute.

DIKEMBE, OGEGA SETTLE THEIR ‘DIFFERENCES’

Prepared by Nyamweya and Nyamori

The row between The 26th SGC’s Secretary General and his Security and Accommodation counterpart might be a thing of the past if a joint press briefing they had yesterday (Sunday) is anything to go by.

The two, Seth Dikembe and Enock Ogega, public differed over a controversial Senior Hostel triple occupancy, a move which the latter rejected vehemently saying that he had intruded into the docket’s affairs.

Speaking to The 3rd Eye in a joint press briefing, the two officials said that they have no personal differences as reported in the media. They reiterated that they have never frictioned and that they will continue working together to ensure maximum service delivery to comrades.

“We have no personal differences as earlier reported. We only had differences in opinion.” Said the jovial two.

They agreed that the hostels in question (Hostel A, B, F and E), will still be housing two students in a room but will push for the completion of Hostel M’s remaining two wings.

They added that they will dialogue with the University Management to minimize on the number of students to be admitted to ease the accommodation crisis.

DIVERGENT VIEW ON THE SPIRIT OF COMRADESHIP

Mercy Trecy writes on:

“COMRADES POWER!” Those are familiar words to most of us but were only heard by the ‘freshaz’ during MUSO campaigns! That is where my problem really lies. When our former president of Kenya was in power, ‘HARAMBEE’ was our slogan and he used it each and every day and not during campaigns only. I actually believe that it helped in uniting us as Kenyans knowing that we had something in common… What has changed our politics?


Politics is not really my thing but I am one person who believes in getting my rights! I remember having a problem with my Maths teacher in sec school due to this. I had a problem with him favouring some students in class by not punishing them in case they didn’t do their assignments but punishing others. But just as politics ‘iko kwa damu’ in some of us, the same applies to me and getting my rights.


I remember our current Sec Gen Mr. Seth Dikembe had updated during campaigns that when he gets into power, he would uphold the spirit of comradeship and ensure that the slogan is not used only during campaigns. Am I wrong Bwana Sec Gen? That made my heart feel at peace, so am looking forward to getting a big smile on my face and don’t you let me down!


Last week I was in shock, not because of Bwana Sec Gen but because of my fellow comrades! When we updated on the Sec-Gen’s idea of getting an extra bed added in our senior hostels, I didn’t think even in my wildest of thoughts that it would create a ground for quarrels and enmity. Most comrades proved me wrong and gave me a reason to worry a great deal. I believe it was just a suggestion that he was passing to us to have our views. Some of us took it too personal as to start calling him names and telling him how much he has proved them wrong because ati they had had faith in him while electing him!


My question is: How did he make you lose faith in him? On the contrary, I think you are the ones who have let him down in that matter because he is fair enough to ask for your views. Which other MUSO official has ever asked you for your opinions on any issue?! He humbled himself unlike those who were before him and given your voices importance! Surely, I must be honest with you my dears and confess that so far I have not seen a leader as humble as our current Sec-Gen. When I saw it on The 3rd Eye facebook fanpage wall, untold joy rushed in me knowing that I had not been wrong or not even wasted my time in queuing to vote for him. He has truly portrayed the characteristics of a good servant leader!


I expected us, as comrades, to be the ones fighting to uphold the spirit of comradeship. We should have just given our polite views and not made the post look like some form of a battle field! I know it is not everyone that supported him in his quest to get the seat but it’s high time that we all accepted that he got in by majority votes and should thus at least lend him our ears and hear what plans he has and only then will we all exist peacefully in this campus.


The power of comradeship is in uniting as a campus and being open-minded in our dealings, accepting each other despite the tribal difference or difference in views. We are different people with different minds and I know that we will differ most times in our criticisms but the spirit of comradeship will only be upheld if we respect each other’s views and opinions. This is only possible by ensuring politeness in our arguments.

I truly hope and pray that very soon I will be having a different story from this and be thanking you for bringing back the spirit! For Bwana Dikembe, we are humbled to have a leader who is so humble. Keep it up! END

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