Get Our {MEN} Points Today!!
By Supertall Nyathiwa
WHEN LADIES COMPLAINED ABOUT MENS’ USUAL PIC-UP LINE YA "U look familiar," we changed to others... Why can’t you also find what to say when told you are wonderful? TUMECHOKA NA "THANX FOR THE COMPLIMENT" …and guys also never want to get the following from you FEMALES!!!
1. WHEN WILL I SEE YOU AGAIN?
You’ll see him when you see him. If he wants to see you again, he’ll call.
If not, he will text you. You don’t have time for anyone that doesn’t have time for you.
2. WHY DIDN’T YOU CALL?
There’s only one answer to this question: Because he didn’t want to! What
you’re really asking is, “Why didn’t you want to call me?” Who knows! There
could be a lot of reasons, but you shouldn’t be sitting around wondering
why. You should be out dating lots of different guys and not worrying about
ONE guy. Don’t be so quick to put all your eggs into one basket, because if
they break, it’s a big mess!
3. WHERE WERE YOU?
If he wanted you to know where he was, he’d tell you. What you’re really
asking is, “Where are you with another female that you like better than me?”
Your insecurity is showing, my dear. If anything, he should be wondering
where you were.
4. I LOVE YOU (FIRST)
You’re saying it in the hopes that he’ll say it back, but what if he
doesn’t? You’ll be devastated and probably feel foolish. Saying “I love you”
is not going to speed things up if he’s not ready to say it back. So just
cool it, and let him be the first to say it when he’s ready.
5. DID YOU SLEEP WITH HER?
As long as he’s not sleeping with her now, who cares? The past is gone.
Don’t torture yourself (and him) with these thoughts. In this case,
ignorance really is bliss.
6. I’M PREGNANT!
In 2010, with all the birth control choices available, there is no excuse
for becoming pregnant, unless you want to be. You should be using something
and he should use a condom, every time.
7. WHERE IS THIS GOING?
Nowhere fast if that’s your attitude. Guys want someone fun and easy to be
with, not someone that’s constantly worrying about the future. His actions
or non-actions will tell you where it’s going. If it’s going somewhere,
you’ll know it. If it’s not, you’ll know it too.
8. WE NEED TO TALK!
This is the equivalent of, “Go to the principal’s office”. Guys know it’s
not going to be a fun conversation, so they’re already on the defense. If
you need to discuss something, just casually bring it up when the both of
you are relaxed. Don’t try to talk to him when he’s tired, stressed or
trying to watch TV!
9. I HATE YOU!
Even if you do, it’s totally uncalled for and un-lady like. If there’s an
issue, be mature enough to discuss it when you’re calm. If he’s breaking up
with you, reacting with anger may make you feel better temporarily, but it’s
best to remain calm and act unfazed. He’ll wonder why you’re so cool about
it and that may make him re-think his decision. Always be pleasant during a
break up. Do you want to be known as the girl that goes psycho if someone
breaks up with her? I didn’t think so.
10. I DON’T TRUST YOU!
What you’re actually saying is, “You need to step up your game, because I
can see you’re up to something.” If he is up to something, he’ll just become
even sneakier. Better to think smart and act dumb-it’ll be easier to get the
evidence you need to confirm your suspicions.
Sunday, October 17, 2010
MR. WRONGS.
Behind every man is a very surprised mother-in-law (read monster- in-law) wondering what the hell their daughter saw in him. The ideal husband is often financially stable, caring, committed etc. but that has not prevented today’s woman from having fun with a few wrong ones before she sentences herself to marriage. Here in campus, there is a whole lot of Mr. Wrongs and I would try and look at some. So here it goes.
There is the usual joker, who will pretend that he has mad confidence and will approach mostly the beauty-conscious campus damsels. Having done your nails, hair, make-up and all, and rounded the corner feeling like a million bucks, Mr. Joker usually looking like a cross between a lout and a locust will approach you, ask you out and reduce your recent transformation into a cruel joke. He is often haggard looking dirty and with a stinky breathe to boot.
Fast forward to Mr. Cock, having acquired his name from his jogoo-like activities. What a walk! This one is usually based at sta-ge or strategically at any open ground looking for his next catch. This one will ‘chips-funga’ you, then announce to anyone who cares to listen to his usually exaggerated escapades. If you are a member of the nominal-signing club at Frakaz or thereabouts, may be you have met his brothers already. They will walk to you; wait for you to get high, before they sweet talk you to their beds only to chase you at earliest tomorrow morning with actions that will speak louder than words. Better still they approach YOU WHEN YOU ARE SOBER, INVITE YOU FOR A ‘SCREW’ IN THEIR rooms, and gyrate their hips in the most endearing manner, in case you do not get what they are saying.
Mr. Broke-ass will date you for as long as you cook for him, (with your own money of course), lend him money which he will never bother to pay back and most of the time he is a manipulator. Usually, he suffers from low self esteem, and compensate for it with trying to show you how much power he holds in the relationship. He is a close relative in Mr. Dog, who will cheat on you with anything that wears a skirt. These two are schemers, who won’t reveal their true colors, until they are sure they have you round their little sleazy fingers, and then they will feed your heart to the dogs. Usually, they start with treating you as a queen and trust me they are good at it. Sooner or later, the ideas change as Mr. Broke-ass lets you take care of him, and Mr. Dog lets you cry your head off until you are strong enough to either dump his sorry ass, or look for a way to outsource your love (forgive the pun). Trust me they come begging you back, claiming to have suddenly realized they cannot do without you. This is pure hogwash. Though, since past behavior warns of future behavior.
Mr. Undecided amazes me the most. He dates you, but he seems not quite settled especially when you are in the company of many girls. He is not sure of what he wants, he wants all of them, and before he learns to specialize, they are all taken. So amidst hoots of laughter and snorts of disbelief from his friends for failing to enjoy the juicy morsels that fortune places in his hands, Mr. Undecided is yet to decide what he wants.
Before you decide to surprise your mother with your marriage to his small faded letters and have her adjusting to that shock throughout the rest of your life, think of these things or rather let yourself pick a man of your choice and not the other way round!
There is the usual joker, who will pretend that he has mad confidence and will approach mostly the beauty-conscious campus damsels. Having done your nails, hair, make-up and all, and rounded the corner feeling like a million bucks, Mr. Joker usually looking like a cross between a lout and a locust will approach you, ask you out and reduce your recent transformation into a cruel joke. He is often haggard looking dirty and with a stinky breathe to boot.
Fast forward to Mr. Cock, having acquired his name from his jogoo-like activities. What a walk! This one is usually based at sta-ge or strategically at any open ground looking for his next catch. This one will ‘chips-funga’ you, then announce to anyone who cares to listen to his usually exaggerated escapades. If you are a member of the nominal-signing club at Frakaz or thereabouts, may be you have met his brothers already. They will walk to you; wait for you to get high, before they sweet talk you to their beds only to chase you at earliest tomorrow morning with actions that will speak louder than words. Better still they approach YOU WHEN YOU ARE SOBER, INVITE YOU FOR A ‘SCREW’ IN THEIR rooms, and gyrate their hips in the most endearing manner, in case you do not get what they are saying.
Mr. Broke-ass will date you for as long as you cook for him, (with your own money of course), lend him money which he will never bother to pay back and most of the time he is a manipulator. Usually, he suffers from low self esteem, and compensate for it with trying to show you how much power he holds in the relationship. He is a close relative in Mr. Dog, who will cheat on you with anything that wears a skirt. These two are schemers, who won’t reveal their true colors, until they are sure they have you round their little sleazy fingers, and then they will feed your heart to the dogs. Usually, they start with treating you as a queen and trust me they are good at it. Sooner or later, the ideas change as Mr. Broke-ass lets you take care of him, and Mr. Dog lets you cry your head off until you are strong enough to either dump his sorry ass, or look for a way to outsource your love (forgive the pun). Trust me they come begging you back, claiming to have suddenly realized they cannot do without you. This is pure hogwash. Though, since past behavior warns of future behavior.
Mr. Undecided amazes me the most. He dates you, but he seems not quite settled especially when you are in the company of many girls. He is not sure of what he wants, he wants all of them, and before he learns to specialize, they are all taken. So amidst hoots of laughter and snorts of disbelief from his friends for failing to enjoy the juicy morsels that fortune places in his hands, Mr. Undecided is yet to decide what he wants.
Before you decide to surprise your mother with your marriage to his small faded letters and have her adjusting to that shock throughout the rest of your life, think of these things or rather let yourself pick a man of your choice and not the other way round!
MULU’S WORD ON OUR LEARNING FACILITIES.
“Unless we are communicating we are not related in any way.” This is a quote I encountered in my interaction with literature. And because of the relationship I choose to speak on our learning facilities.
Unsettled debt,
I feel indebted to vindicate the state of our learning environment because you gave me that mandate. And boldly I took it up. I accept there has been unusual dirt in the lecture halls, SR’s and SNs and surprisingly in the library. Thanks to those of us who saw it wise to enquire on the whereabouts by inboxing me on facebook. Another concern was that the state of the toilets and the PA system at LH1 and lighting system in the SRs.
Way forward,
Due to the above issues I sought assistance from Dr Sang (the chief administrative officer) who accepted to walk around and confirm for himself. I assure all comrades that a change must be observed and possibly at a higher notch.
Comrades duty,
I call upon all School Reps and comrades at large to equip me with any information that deserves my reaction. A number of channels can be used: fb(inbox) or slip/ drop your comments at carrel 2 in the MTL.
On the library,
It must be neat. And for this we can’t stoop any low3 in the name of a request! The breakage of the reading tables is being looked into since we have drifted into the busiest part of the semester.
We’ll have to be patient as the final logistics of expanding the cyber café within the library are being effected. We must get there. Very soon
On campus writers,
I was once part of you. Let’s get back on board and make the community aware of herself. Aristotle in his wisdom will refer to a writer as, “ an all-knowing being, the third eye to the society”. Hence, objectivity, facility and clarity of the motivation of our Art must always prevail.
Unsettled debt,
I feel indebted to vindicate the state of our learning environment because you gave me that mandate. And boldly I took it up. I accept there has been unusual dirt in the lecture halls, SR’s and SNs and surprisingly in the library. Thanks to those of us who saw it wise to enquire on the whereabouts by inboxing me on facebook. Another concern was that the state of the toilets and the PA system at LH1 and lighting system in the SRs.
Way forward,
Due to the above issues I sought assistance from Dr Sang (the chief administrative officer) who accepted to walk around and confirm for himself. I assure all comrades that a change must be observed and possibly at a higher notch.
Comrades duty,
I call upon all School Reps and comrades at large to equip me with any information that deserves my reaction. A number of channels can be used: fb(inbox) or slip/ drop your comments at carrel 2 in the MTL.
On the library,
It must be neat. And for this we can’t stoop any low3 in the name of a request! The breakage of the reading tables is being looked into since we have drifted into the busiest part of the semester.
We’ll have to be patient as the final logistics of expanding the cyber café within the library are being effected. We must get there. Very soon
On campus writers,
I was once part of you. Let’s get back on board and make the community aware of herself. Aristotle in his wisdom will refer to a writer as, “ an all-knowing being, the third eye to the society”. Hence, objectivity, facility and clarity of the motivation of our Art must always prevail.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)