MR. WRONGS.

Behind every man is a very surprised mother-in-law (read monster- in-law) wondering what the hell their daughter saw in him. The ideal husband is often financially stable, caring, committed etc. but that has not prevented today’s woman from having fun with a few wrong ones before she sentences herself to marriage. Here in campus, there is a whole lot of Mr. Wrongs and I would try and look at some. So here it goes.
There is the usual joker, who will pretend that he has mad confidence and will approach mostly the beauty-conscious campus damsels. Having done your nails, hair, make-up and all, and rounded the corner feeling like a million bucks, Mr. Joker usually looking like a cross between a lout and a locust will approach you, ask you out and reduce your recent transformation into a cruel joke. He is often haggard looking dirty and with a stinky breathe to boot.
Fast forward to Mr. Cock, having acquired his name from his jogoo-like activities. What a walk! This one is usually based at sta-ge or strategically at any open ground looking for his next catch. This one will ‘chips-funga’ you, then announce to anyone who cares to listen to his usually exaggerated escapades. If you are a member of the nominal-signing club at Frakaz or thereabouts, may be you have met his brothers already. They will walk to you; wait for you to get high, before they sweet talk you to their beds only to chase you at earliest tomorrow morning with actions that will speak louder than words. Better still they approach YOU WHEN YOU ARE SOBER, INVITE YOU FOR A ‘SCREW’ IN THEIR rooms, and gyrate their hips in the most endearing manner, in case you do not get what they are saying.
Mr. Broke-ass will date you for as long as you cook for him, (with your own money of course), lend him money which he will never bother to pay back and most of the time he is a manipulator. Usually, he suffers from low self esteem, and compensate for it with trying to show you how much power he holds in the relationship. He is a close relative in Mr. Dog, who will cheat on you with anything that wears a skirt. These two are schemers, who won’t reveal their true colors, until they are sure they have you round their little sleazy fingers, and then they will feed your heart to the dogs. Usually, they start with treating you as a queen and trust me they are good at it. Sooner or later, the ideas change as Mr. Broke-ass lets you take care of him, and Mr. Dog lets you cry your head off until you are strong enough to either dump his sorry ass, or look for a way to outsource your love (forgive the pun). Trust me they come begging you back, claiming to have suddenly realized they cannot do without you. This is pure hogwash. Though, since past behavior warns of future behavior.

Mr. Undecided amazes me the most. He dates you, but he seems not quite settled especially when you are in the company of many girls. He is not sure of what he wants, he wants all of them, and before he learns to specialize, they are all taken. So amidst hoots of laughter and snorts of disbelief from his friends for failing to enjoy the juicy morsels that fortune places in his hands, Mr. Undecided is yet to decide what he wants.

Before you decide to surprise your mother with your marriage to his small faded letters and have her adjusting to that shock throughout the rest of your life, think of these things or rather let yourself pick a man of your choice and not the other way round!