Saturday, August 17, 2013

TODDLERS? YES, TODDLERS!

By Kinyua Njeri
The other day, a score of readers accused me of being unethical and insolent when I stated that in the forthcoming elections, elders will watch toddlers play. I cannot escape mentioning Mahatma Gandhi who once said that he’d be more pleased by those who step on his footprints than those who kiss his feet. Well, I have never known why I always feel better challenged than praised...it's a thing I've had since birth. Here, I'll tell you why.

To begin with, those conversant with the trends in MUSO politics will agree with me that anyone, vying or politically heavy-weighted, who does not understand the semantics of the concept of 'a toddler’ in the context of Moi University, should quit politics forthwith. Why? It's simply because no one can know where MUSO is headed to, if he doesn't know where it came from. It's as terse as that.


Now, it is true to say that age is not an aspect of leadership. In fact, I prefer when wise ‘children’ lead adults. This is because wisdom also does not necessarily increase with age. You see, an old person is experienced, but not always wise. That I agree. But in a very concerned tone of reality, I fear for a society that has the young governing the old. This may be best explained by the change of trends in families in the 21st century where children 'overthrew' their parents long time ago. Every move leads to regret and if it continues, the family will soon be a mortal hell!

Let's come back to the incoming SGC. A close look at the aspirants leaves me with more doubts than hopes. You see, most of them have been my close friends ever since I joined this fenceless university. I know, yes I do, how most of them function (except for a certain aspirant whose links dominate comments of this wall just caught my attention). It is definitely true that the urge and desire for gold, glory and power is the dark and primitive instinct that drives most of them. They will accuse former regimes of underperforming and appreciate no effort that has ever been made. To them, every MUSO regime was bogus and very inconsequential. Why? They want to justify, curtain and conceal their gluttonous motives the blame game.

As Dikembe and Obilo once said in MU Fm, most of the aspirants do not know why they are vying. They are just vying to fill the slots. Sometime back, last month to be specific, I strived to convince a certain aspirant who was so much obsessed with becoming the 'next' Assistant Academics Director, a position that even doesn't exist in the MUSO constitution!

And you still say this is not toddler business?

Friday, August 16, 2013

WHAT FRESHERS MUST KNOW….part-1 (The Shamba Boy Series)

By Maalim Salat
Last week, Winnie, one of my classmates was removed from her room in Hostel K. She was dragged to the dirty field that is between Hostel J and studie, forced to face the admin and swear while shouting “26th SGC tuko pamoja” seventeen times while drinking a bitter liquid mixed with goat’s sperms. She suspected that the perpetrators were affiliated to one of the current shopkeepers (sorry, directors) who hails from her community and to whom she refused to vote for last semester.

I take this chance to welcome the innocent species of My University to this university with defects (sorry, I meant difference). Freshers karibuni to My University where you are expected to sleep on top of trees and attend classes. It is my time to orient you.

Let me start with the prefect body led by the head boy. Here, they are called SGC. They are chosen from the hungriest students and end up being shopkeepers. The head boy is called chairman. He is so powerful that he can make the university security officials to suspend me for writing this after which you can go on strike. He is called toothless dog or Mr. dog-hana Meno.

The one who gave you his number the other day is called Mr. Tight-ass (anavaanga tight shirts na tight jeans). He is the prefect in-charge of mwax and sups. He gave you his number during your orientation because that was the only way to kwachua as many freshers as possible. I hear he doesn’t pick calls unless u text him, “me ni Esther” or something that suggests that you belong to the female species. This semester is named after him (Mururu semester) because he made sure we come back so that his chips business thrives.

The prefect in-charge of money and shops is called Pesa Wale Nakula. Like him or not, you paid him sh.500 when you reported to this campus. He is the treasurer of the campus thieves. But I salute him for being the only director worth our votes. He is the one behind the return of the MUSO cyber cafe and wireless network around Soweto. Clap for him! Again! Thank you.

The head girl is the vice chair lady who would come to your room during her campaigns and ask you while holding you color, “utanivotia ama nikuchape kofi?” She is Get Rude Chemka. I once tried to date her and she was like ‘are you man enough?’ I still wonder whether she meant I go buy Viagra or atanichapa. Si angeishi tu huko Nyeri?

The only confused member among the SGC is called Viola YEGON. Her surname must be written in capital letters or else... She is the assistant prefect in-charge of nothing. (The other day I saw her at Hijaz Hotel with a very handsome mswahili boy. I was told he is her new boyfriend. Kumbe hata ladies hukwachua freshers? I wonder why she damped my friend Simon, the former assistant prefect). I am saying she is confused because she doesn’t as yet know how to steal our money na Simo hajamfunza.

Let us go to the classes where you find some ugly students named class-rapes. They are raped by the situation. They did not kwachua nor were they kwachuad. They don’t have boy/girlfriends. They chose to be class-rapes so that classmates can take their numbers and at least, text them “hi, daro imebounce ama?” Be kind to them, sawa? Very good!

And lastly, there is a place called exile. Don’t ask me where in main campus it is located. This is the place where your roommate will send you to when he is visited by his/her overnight partner. In the words of the late Kijana Wamalwa, you can spend the rest of the night puffing a cigarette outside, ama uende frakaz!

I have some sodas and cakes for you behind this wall, take only one of each and have a very good day.

Don’t miss the Shamba Boy’s humour every Wednesday.

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

THE CHURCH MUST GUIDE ITS FLOCK IN THIS ELECTION

By Gitungo Wamere
Politics is a dirty game and so the saying goes and this might be the sole reason why church leaders shy away from politics and fail to guide the children of God in making tough political decisions. Politics I say is not dirty since it is a fundamental building block of life, and therefore life is politics and politics is life. Even if it is dirty injecting hygiene in it is imperative.

With the prevailing political mood within the campus, as the church here exorcises demons, methinks the demon of political apathy within the church must top the list. The church is the conscience of the society and the religious organizations within the campus can be rightly discussed as the conscience of this campus. These organizations pray when things go wrong, somehow they basically pray for everything in this institutions but it becomes a contradiction when they fail to take charge when the opportunity to raise political leaders come.


Good people, of the church especially those on the leadership positions come and let us reason together. The chairperson of Christian Union, MUSDA and Catholic Students Association you have a large constituency that you head, and at least you stand for something good. Good people, you value virtues and moral values and that is why I think you should take a stand in this election.

Student’s governance is in dire need of a moral re-awakening and having the church as the moral custodian of the society the church has a big role to play. In the last national elections the church tried
putting a moral gauge on all the running mates of the presidential candidates and that made the election different. The church herein should also break from the cocoon of traditions and make the forthcoming MUSO election different.

Student leadership and politics in general is not meant for rebels neither for celebrities, it’s for people who understand the dynamics of society and can manipulate them for positive change. The church using its highly respected spectacles of virtues and moral values they can easily help identify capable leaders and lead the congregation accordingly in making a wise decision.

The church must add its input in the effort to reclaim the glory of our union. It must contribute to the debate of which philosophy and ideology that our union must be grounded on. It must be there as we try to regain our moral compass.

A lot has been said and done but the church can make the forthcoming election memorable for all the good reasons. Prayers alone are not enough and it is time the church decorate its faith with actions. It time to speak out before the Church’s voice is shut forever.

Monday, August 12, 2013

WHY THESE ELECTIONS MUST NOT BE BUSINESS AS USUAL

By Mohammed Doyo
The elections, in just a month, can’t and will not be business as usual. The business of short changing comrades by conducting fraudulent campaigns-where cheap victory is bought through appeals of tribalism, the fanning of tribal alliances, the perennial crossfire heckling and the making of irresponsible promises-must surely come to an end.

These elections are different. The exercise is not a mere routine to satisfy MUSO constitutional requirement for a one year voting cycle.

It hinges on the desperate need to exorcise the ghosts of an under-performing 26th SGC (Students’ Governing Council) and the need to restore comrades’ power that died way back after a bunch of self interested, administration projects found place in MUSO politics.

After voting in previous SGCs that were largely accused of corruption and neglect of comrades’ issues, 2013 provides an opportunity for redemption.

The union’s very future is at stake, Comrades are hopeless, disappointed and disillusioned by MUSO politics after a dismal performance by past SGC’s. Mind you, they were largely voted in by their ability to supply cheap liquor and highly diluted juice, their rhetorical capabilities during crossfire and their tribal backgrounds. The upcoming election is an opportunity for students to begin getting things right

Most important, this must be an election with an agenda for students rather than an agenda for student politicians who have ambitions for a big office and big money. What’s in it for us as the people?

The office that will be elected in September 6 elections must restore the spirit of comradeship back. Comradeship that was there during the eras of Hassan Omar, Mama Rainbow, and the likes of Garang. Comradeship that wouldn’t allow a section of the students suffer in the hands of the administration while the majorities just watch.

Of importance again is the dilapidated state of the institution’s infrastructure, from the hostels to the lecture halls. However hard it might prove to be, the next SGC must not relent to push for renovation and maintenance of these buildings.

The issue of planning the academic calendars and the official communication of the reporting dates is a critical and an urgent one and calls for a MUSO office that will be caring and fierce enough to force the administration to be releasing the dates moths before and not the last minute. Students are tired with unplanned impromptu further notices.

Perhaps the biggest threat facing MUSO is corruption, misappropriation of funds, overriding self interests and disunity in the SGC -politics of my docket’. This destroys the capacity of the leaders we elect to serve us.
The leaders we need are not the ones that ride tribalism to power and nurturing it to eat to the fullest. We need leaders who will put the students’ interest first.

Students are encouraged to question aspirants on this agenda. Those who have nothing concrete do not belong in leadership. This election is a game-changer. But only if it is about issues and not personalities.

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