Comrades adornment

BY CAROLYNE ACHERO
This semester, I have come up with many resolutions and one of the gargantuan resolutions is to call a wrong by its real name. I am well aware that this will earn me a number of names and I could even be accused of bigotry. But I’d rather these names instead of burying my head in the sand like the proverbial ostrich hoping that the problem will either go away or solve itself.

There are a number of disturbing scenes moving around undeterred in lecture halls which I would to become extinct.

Exposed Inners

This is the most disturbing of them all. The color, design and material of your inner clothing is your business alone. If there’s something that I hate beside halitosis are people who insist on sharing with me forcefully, their private issues.

Imagine sitting behind a dude with a boxer written on threatening words like Rambo, Yokozuna, Rikishi and even Arsenal etc. This is very disconcerting especially on a chilly Monday morning in LT3 when you are trying to find your way around a labyrinth of Maths which always backfire on your face. Ladies, yours is worse and that’s why I will not even discuss it here. I have only this, loose the low-waist jeans. Why would you want to show than you want to hide?

Painted Faces

Ladies, ladies, ladies, make up is meant to enhance what already exists: to bring out your hidden beauty. Why would you paint your face so much that you end up looking like a scarecrow from maize farm in Kitale? My primary headmaster called them walking Christmas trees.

Mr. Domnicius Wapekulu would have certainly exclaimed, “Christmas imeshafika!” Application of make-up is a very delicate matter which demands patience and professionalism, otherwise you’ll end up looking scary instead of beautiful. However, if you want to look terrible, then by all means use crown paint for a permanent look.

For tips, please visit JulyneDerrick.com.

Parrots

These are our comrades who will say everything and nothing at the same. Someone once said that the percentage of your intelligence is 100% until you open your mouth. Then it will either decrease or increase.

These comrades have answers to all rhetoric questions a lecturer asks. They decide whether the lecturer is good or bad according to where they sit. Notably, they will book all the front seats for themselves, their friends and the friends of their friends.

When you missed what the lecturer has said and you say pardon, they will volunteer to repeat it and more often than not, its everything but what the lecturer said.

Often after a painful QS lecturer, all you think about is your impending intimate interaction with your coil. The lecturer asks just as a formality if there’s any questions and the class goes like NOOOO! Lo and behold, a familiar hand shoots up. The owner of the hand will then go on to ask a question that takes two hours to answer. What happened to private consultations?

Outrageous Hairdos

It has been proven scientifically, that my concentration in a Maths class has hit an all time low and these hair styles do not help. My sisters spot hairstyles the size of full grown pumpkins. In fact, they look like they are carrying water pots on their heads in class!

If you must don a conspicuous hairdo, could you please seat at the back dear.