HUMOUR: WHY THIS CAMPO NEEDS SECOND YEARS

By William Dekker

Its barely three weeks now and freshaz might be wondering why they haven’t seen these “things” , which they were told about campo. The compound seems to be so docile and perhaps that huge expectation hasn’t been satisfied. That campo fire, rush and super-mchanuko seems not to be a reality. I think I have a good answer to that.

To begin with, this place is full of generation “W” or rather “Generation Wazee”-the fourth years. These are old guards who see no life in a lot of things. They have very little excitement or their interest is extremely limited on anything. Meet them across the pathways with long-wrinkled faces. You will not be surprised by “move out of the way” expressions. These guys look like they are just out to box someone big-time.

I once dared the scary to one sura ya kazi look and said “hi” along the Academic Highway. I have never liked the reply till to-date; “Thesis! Project! Research! Report! Blah . . . etc”. For a moment, I thought this chap was raping to me about all his woes in response to a mere greeting; of course he was! I tell you, seniors takes away all the fan you desire in campo. It’s like a den of torment, pressure and frustrations, si project si report! Everyone of them seems to be caught up in deadlines, no wonder they have no time for any other crap (except PICNICs).

And then there is this group, that of just-fill-the compound. They are there to be hardly seen and never to be heard. Apologies in advance before I incriminate “the engineers”. These are pure academicians whose brains are occupied by 97% Arithmetics, Formulas and “crammed stuff”, 2% Massive confusion and 1% Misinformation . They are always idealess of what happens outside the Mackay building. In fact, uninformed of the happenings within the campus realm as a whole. As much as graduation takes place next to their dwelling, you will be surprised they only know after it took place “two weeks ago”. Engineers, no offence please, just business!

Evidently, there is no one around to give the freshaz a run for their money. Someone has to take life at the fastest pace and “bring them to birth”, of what it means being in campus. Let me just be frank, 2nd years wanarudi hapa na mioto, mtashangaa! This group is an equivalent of an Al-Shabab’s grenade that has been unwontedly buried in the sands of Kismayu with no agenda to carry out. Now that they have been freed from that bondage they were in, they are here to explode with a bang! Bondage? Yeah! The bondage of not seeing these new faces they desired so much while ageing at home for three weeks. 2nd years wametamani sana mafresha. At least now they’ve got juniors to look up to and I guess they might just make “perfect” mentors for these “juniors” in 1st year. Perhaps they’ll just be here to put the house in order and make things get back to its feet.

Warning! Be prepared for real craze around; agenda less noisemaking, competitive clad-wear, unparalleled fashion and groom, virtual hyperness and imaginary hotness, exiles, pirating reloaded! Wait a minute . . . have we had the freshaz nyt yet? Oops! I wonder why it was given that name coz according to my understanding; it is a thing of another group all together. May be the dress-code, the dance, the deeds for that night and the aftermath of it all will prove my point. Here is a private whisper to my beloved fresha chiqs “after Friday’s freshaz nyt, hizo skirts zenu mtazipeleka kwa fundi zikatwe mara tatu so as to fit to the standards of the mini-skirts we have here.”

Let’s just call it campo has just began; mioto reloaded!!!. If you’ve never believed that Hostel J is a den of more male occupants than female residents then hang on for even more surprises. Tick…tock! The clock is ticking; let the games begin!!!