by Clifford Ogutu
Indeed change is inevitable! When I was in high school back in the days, biology and chemistry were among my worst subjects, I hated them with passion apart from the reproductive lessons in biology. I must admit that I developed interest in the two subjects after joining campus. This is the reason.

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to Bio-chem 101. Our mode of study will be through analysis on an element called man; with a chemical symbol of (M) our specimen of study has an atomic mass ranging from 60 kgs to 150kgs or even above. Some are big while some are very tinny thus challenged both vertically and horizontally.

The physical, biological and chemical properties of symbol ‘m’ include the following:

Absorbs great quantity of ‘bitter water’ (alcohol) thus making it highly saturated. This makes it end up staggering, tal

Most powerful ‘unga’ reducing agent known to ever exist on the planet thus making the toilet a must tour destination for many of them

Always highly ornamental in fake bling bling which make them develop fake swag and a fake walking styles which might make you think that one of their legs is shorter than the other.

The friendliest ATM machine ever manufactured under the sun because it will yield if pressure is applied in the right buttons by an element called Woman through unlimited hugs, constant trips and other lethal ways.

Majority of this element like to put on oversize sagging pants which are always recycled to the limit. A large percentage of symbol (m) persons have subscribed themselves in the N.B.A (non bathing association) league. In this attractive league, the rules are simple: 1. men do not smell 2. Always have a strong deodorant

Always found in various states from a Mr. broke ass brother who is always broke 24/7, Mr. stingy who will never let go even a shilling of his in vain, Mr. my father’s who always mention his fathers wealth thinking that it is his e.g. gari ya baba yangu… laptop ya baba yangu… among other such words to Mr. splash who always splashes money which might make you think that he has a relative at central bank.

Element M’s body is so much flexible, more so the eyes, the nose, the neck and the legs. The four mentioned interdependent body parts have got the following adaptations:

The eyes are compound in order to roam about easily in any direction and search for ‘greener pasture’ and act as F.B.I (Female body inspector) among other functions.

The neck is always alert and ready to twist in any angle in order to assist the eyes with its duties and obligations at a more timely duration.

The nose is always ready to identify with attractive aromas such as beef, fries, omena and other inviting delicacies which might come from the neighboring doorstep.

The legs are specially formulated to aid with the non stop trips to ladies rooms in various surroundings. Despite the fact that it is illegal to posses’ more than one woman, Symbol ‘m’ has realized that several can be maintained at different locations as long as the various female elements do not come into direct contact with each other.

The common use of our element of study is that it has always been abused by the female element through purchase of airtime, frequent ‘bodaboda’ fare and other nagging stuffs. All in all man must live.