RECOMMENDED MOI UNIVERSITY GIRLFRIEND PRICES
If Obwogo (Finance Director) can publish a list of recommended prices of commodities in campus, can’t Ondieki (Katiaring Director) publish the recommended prices of girlfriends in campus?
AIRTIME SAMBAZA RATES
(a) Airtime to be sambazwad when she asks for it after sending a please-call-me = 5.00
(b) Airtime to be sambazwad when she asks for it with her own credit = 10.00
(c) Airtime to be sambazwad when you want to confuse and call her to your room = 100.00
(d) Airtime to be sambazwad after she has called you and told you (on a serious note) that she has missed her periods = 500.00
RECOMMENDED DOWRY RATES
(a) If she is from hostel J or K or L, dowry = 10,000. No animals.
(b) If she is from Stage and other outskirts, dowry = 200,000 (you know why).
(c) If she is from hostel E or Upper Hill, dowry = Ksh. 0 (i.e. free). Ensure she has teeth.
RECOMMENDED FOOD QUANTITIES TO BE GIVEN
(a) If she cooks while you watch a movie ≍ 250 g
(b) If you cook while she watches a movie ≍ 100 g
RECOMMENDED MEAT AND CHIPS QUANTITIES TO BE TAKEN TO HER ROOM
(a) When she has not entered the box = 2 kg meat, chips 7 times a week
(b) One month after she has entered the box = 1/2 kg meat, chips 3 times a week
(c) Three months after she has entered the box = 1/2 kg of CABBAGE, chips my foot!
RECOMMENDED CASH REMITTANCES
(a) If she asks for a ‘loan’ after spending a night in your room = Ksh. 200
(b) If she is out of campus and asks for some ‘urgent’ M-Pesa = Ksh. 125
(c) She asks for something for the salon (after washing clothes for you) = Ksh. 200
(d) If she asks for money and mentions Frakaz in the same sentence = Ksh. 0
Why pay more?
OTHER RATES TO BE HANDLED IN FUTURE
(a) Recommended amount to be spent on her on kadundas and other Friday nights
(b) Recommended amount to be spent while on picnics and other outings
(c) Recommended amount to be asked for buying P2 and related emergencies
If Obwogo (Finance Director) can publish a list of recommended prices of commodities in campus, can’t Ondieki (Katiaring Director) publish the recommended prices of girlfriends in campus?
AIRTIME SAMBAZA RATES
(a) Airtime to be sambazwad when she asks for it after sending a please-call-me = 5.00
(b) Airtime to be sambazwad when she asks for it with her own credit = 10.00
(c) Airtime to be sambazwad when you want to confuse and call her to your room = 100.00
(d) Airtime to be sambazwad after she has called you and told you (on a serious note) that she has missed her periods = 500.00
RECOMMENDED DOWRY RATES
(a) If she is from hostel J or K or L, dowry = 10,000. No animals.
(b) If she is from Stage and other outskirts, dowry = 200,000 (you know why).
(c) If she is from hostel E or Upper Hill, dowry = Ksh. 0 (i.e. free). Ensure she has teeth.
RECOMMENDED FOOD QUANTITIES TO BE GIVEN
(a) If she cooks while you watch a movie ≍ 250 g
(b) If you cook while she watches a movie ≍ 100 g
RECOMMENDED MEAT AND CHIPS QUANTITIES TO BE TAKEN TO HER ROOM
(a) When she has not entered the box = 2 kg meat, chips 7 times a week
(b) One month after she has entered the box = 1/2 kg meat, chips 3 times a week
(c) Three months after she has entered the box = 1/2 kg of CABBAGE, chips my foot!
RECOMMENDED CASH REMITTANCES
(a) If she asks for a ‘loan’ after spending a night in your room = Ksh. 200
(b) If she is out of campus and asks for some ‘urgent’ M-Pesa = Ksh. 125
(c) She asks for something for the salon (after washing clothes for you) = Ksh. 200
(d) If she asks for money and mentions Frakaz in the same sentence = Ksh. 0
Why pay more?
OTHER RATES TO BE HANDLED IN FUTURE
(a) Recommended amount to be spent on her on kadundas and other Friday nights
(b) Recommended amount to be spent while on picnics and other outings
(c) Recommended amount to be asked for buying P2 and related emergencies
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