OH MY! MY ROOMMATE IS AN ENGINEER!

By William Dekker

There is this bunch that I duly respect full time; engineers. They run the planet, no doubt! But we run the humanity in it, that’s indisputable. But really, what happens behind the scenes? The transformation of a common man into an engineer is a process that is filled with humour, craze and baffling experiences. My roommate is an engineer, I have lots of pains to reveal and comics to disclose in effect to that. I share the fun but still remain a secret sufferer:

1. He has never known my name for three years now;
This chap has no time even just to ask for your name. He calls me boss (I wonder if I’ll ever make even a simple CEO in the future to earn such a title, now that am addicted to “soups”). Neither does he know I’m currently in which year, nor undertaking which course in this campus, all he knows; I make a good room-mate. According to him, such is a time wastage thing that doesn’t contribute to his degree (of course he is right).

2. He has turned my electronics into experimental paraphernalia.
Last Saturday, I invited my buddies for a get-together. Psyched, to DJ the whole night of merry-making, I made attempts to reach for the music system only to find the “woofer” components had been disassembled all over his bed. I didn’t see him the whole night to express my frustrations. The following morning, as I made attempts to power on the electric heater for preparation of breakfast I got another blow; it wasn’t functioning. Then from nowhere, I guess, he bumped in; in a lean-walk holding some coiled “thing” in his right arm, with the power cable hanging on his right shoulder as well. Oh my! This had been removed from the appliance that, by then, I was still holding, staring at in exasperation. No words!

With burning fury, I uttered no word! I decided to get off this place, and set off to church. Perhaps this guy deserved some forgiveness, maombi was my only pending option. After taking a shower, I reached for my “Sunday best” and powered on the iron box…ooooooooow! The first spot that the iron box had landed on was left to form a triangular “hole”, through to the six-inch mattress!

“No! You should have told me! I had removed the bimetallic strip while repairing Njeri’s Iron-Box, I guess I forgot it in hers. Without that you will continue ‘smoldering’ more of your clothes.” This dude had the courage to ascertain so. Compelled by anger, I felt like squeezing him through the aeration holes located over the door just to teach him some manners. Thank Jah, it was Sunday; when always in my best behaviour.

3. The best he can cook is strong tea;

Mr. Engineer either has no time to spend cooking “complex stuff” or he literally doesn’t know how to do the cooking thing. In case I don’t cook, the chap is ever ready to survive the hunger. “Anapikanga STRONG mob asubuhi, then mchana yote ni ngumu anaongeza akisuma maisha”. Really! Was this guy ever raised in a house with a kitchen? Busy? Doesn’t make a reasonable excuse, utakonda!

4. I’m still in doubts whether he is dumb or deaf;

Hapa Moi nimepata dawa yangu! I used to be this hornbill extrovert who never quiets. Imagine a situation where you stay with either a dumb or deaf comrade in a (2x3)m squeezed room; like the ones we have in J& H. He never talks; his personality, background, social life, academics or just “boy-talk” that I am addicted to most. The last time we had more than a minute-talk, was four-semesters ago. That day he got down to caution me over my eating habits; the chemical confusion in them; Juo, Royco, Mandazis; “That Sossi you are so addicted to is floor that has undergone polymerization…” That hit me so hard. No body ever undermines my addiction!

I have deliberately “forgotten” to mention that; he neither combs his iconic shaggy hair nor shaves it; doesn’t spread his bedding; never heard him talk of him having a girlfriend(or he just has no time for that); doesn’t know where LT3 is locate; not aware that the university staff were yesterday on a strike; doesn’t know that people do get HELB-loans (by the way grapevine says Forth-years wamepata HELB double…si mbaya!)

Literally, this people don’t have time; no time to live like normal campo students. Could somebody please give the engineers time! Somebody please…Heylooow?