THIEF CAUGHT IN HOSTEL F

Residents of Hostel F were, yesternight, treated to a drama after a thief was arrested for stealing a laptop. The student, a fourth year media student, was caught by a group of irate comrades after he was suspected of stealing a laptop from his friend.

After an hour of interrogation, the suspect admitted to stealing the laptop with the intention of selling it to settle his semester fees of Ksh 9000. The student had remained in school as his classmates travelled to Mombasa.

Following the incident the hostel residents have now asked the janitor to relocate the student to a different hall of residence for being a security threat, “How can you steal from a friend? Hatuwezi tukaishi na wezi! Huyo jamaa atatuibia tena!” added an angry comrade. 

“Theft has been rampant in this campus and it’s high time it came to an end. Those involved should face the full wrath of the law,” added the laptop owner.

This semester has recorded a high number of theft cases especially in electronics. By the time of going to press the student had returned the laptop and recorded a statement at the security office.

CAMPUS TERMS AND THEIR REAL TRANSLATIONS14

By Mohammed Doyo

In campus, we have some common phrases that are popular among the student fraternity. And as a communication student who is very keen on the language use during conversations and chats, I found it ‘worthy’ to compile this list just in case you needed to know the REAL meaning/translation of some of this phrases. 

‘K’− You are totally boring and I want to end this conversation. 

“Oh”− I don’t know what else to say

“Ok”− I am busy

“Yup”− Stop talking to me

“Umemaliza assignment?”− I have not done my assignment and I want to copy yours right now.

“I got swag” − I am just another overgrown teenager who still thinks acting stupid makes one famous.

“Me ni hustler”− I am broke most of the time

“Uko single?”− I was dumped the other day; I am, therefore, interested in you.

“Uko stage?” − I am about to come there so prepare to buy me food or booze

“My twin”− My close friend who looks nothing like me

“Hii story hapana!”− This is no longer a laughing matter and this situation is now considered serious.

“My heart is taken but I’m single”− She/he doesn’t love me any more

“Siwezi make kutembea, nimechoka”− unless you are buying me chips or smokie, I am not willing to go with you

“Me ni half cast”− I am ashamed of my original tribe and therefore I can’t mention it in public

“I am broke”− I only have enough money for ME.

“Umm.. I got a boyfriend “− Not only are you ugly, you are broke too. Get out of my face

“Whatever!”− I refuse to continue the conversation because you have ruined my mood!

“Why are you lying?”− Why are you telling people something TRUE that I don’t want them to know?

“LOL”− I was flirting, but just in case you are not feeling it, I will make it seem like a joke

“Girl, you will not believe what happened to me”− Prepare to hear my exaggerated version of the story

“I swear sitaambia mtu yeyote”− except my three best friends, my boyfriend, his sister and that random guy on FB, everyone else won’t know about it!

“Mwakenya”− an external micro hard disk that is very essential for intellectual reinforcements in the exam room (as per University student’s dictionary, Moi Uni Edition 2013)

“Naenda library kuchop”− Exams are beginning tomorrow

“Class imebounce”− God answered my prayers. I now have extra 3 hours to watch my favourite series

“Unaishi hostel gani?”− I am idle today and therefore I wouldn’t mind visiting you at your place.

“My dad loves me so much”- I receive M-Pesa messages on regular basis from my father.

DON’T HOLD BACK, WE ARE STILL CAPABLE TOGETHER

By Matthew Nyang'or

Often when we, comrades, face obstacles in our day to day life in our institution, our hurdles seem very small in comparison to what many others are facing or have to face. Let’s take the past and bury it to create an enabling space for the present to engulf it and take a chance to make a wise choice.

Let’s all know that we are still capable of overcoming our challenges. The change (we want) that seems impossible can be realized by our own determination and persistence to cultivate our thoughts and minds to judge what is right for us and make it practical no matter the odds.

It is important to accomplish certain things like managing the accommodation crisis, handling comrades HELB issues, letting comrades know about the University academic schedule to enable proper planning, developing proper ways of rewarding class reps for their contributions to lecture coordination, incorporating the special needs students among others. This will create a better environment for academic improvement.

For the above issues to be tackled, it calls for us to accept that there is a gap that needs to be filled; one that will mark the beginning of the change we want, because we all need positive transformation by all the stakeholders concerned.

It calls for listening and mutual understanding of comrades’ needs. That is when we will find peace of mind to advocate for the change we want. All our dreams can come true; if we only have the courage to pursue them.

We can never truly know what we’re capable of until we give it a try.

STUDENTS IRATE OVER POWER INTERRUPTION

By Ednah Ombaso

Students residing on the 3rd floor of Hostel K were involved in a conflict with the janitor and electrician on Tuesday over persistent power interruptions in their wing.

The students, who sought to take matters into their hands, claimed that it had been almost two months since they reported the matter to the janitor. The janitor, who was confused on what to do, told the students that the problem would be resolved as soon as funds were allocated. “The university has no funds to cater for the problem, but we have been asked to wait until the budget is read”, said the janitor.

It was reported that power goes off as soon as one person in that wing begins to cook or do other chores using power. Even charging a phone is a problem. Most are forced to cook late at night when people have retired to bed and wake as early as 4 am to heat water up or prepare breakfast. “Mtu ka mimi huamka 3 am kupika na kusoma sababu najua masaibu ya hii power!” exclaimed one resident.

After a number of questions from the students, the irate electrician left the venue without repairing the switch. The residents insisted that they needed action. “I wonder how we will survive na venye exam imekaribia,” said another lady. The power situation is yet to be rectified.