WHEN YOUR HONEY BECOMES INTERESTED IN YOUR MONEY

By Isaac Meso

The saying that men are only powerful when dealing with their fellow men came to dawn on me the other day when a friend of mine shared how his ex-girlfriend had manipulated him into squandering all his savings plus the regular boom that he receives from HELB. 

Apparently all was hidden to him because he was ‘in love’ with her. Yeah, the phrase ‘in love’ is in quotes for a reason. A reason that will make me soon start an activist body for my own gender. I bet I will call it Men Against Gold Diggers Association (MAGDA). We campus men have equally suffered in the hands of this ruthless women who have disguised themselves as lovable and innocent only to rip us off to the last dime. I believe it’s the high time men get to understand these beautiful, yet dangerous creatures.
So what are the symptoms that your honey is not interested in you but she is there for the love of your money?
 
She only beeps
Even the dumbest man on earth can see this one coming. Unfortunately when a man is interested in a lady even the obvious things become rocket science. When your lady beeps even after you have sambazad her a hundred bob, start packing your bags bro because this is the last place you want to be especially if you’re using your HELB money to impress her. If she truly feels your vibe she will call you even if she has 0.75 shillings left in her phone. Woe unto you if she feels your pocket.
 
She only calls or texts during lunch hours
“Beb si unanipeleka lunch?” Quite a simple yet manipulative phrase especially when it comes from her. If your lady never calls you 'Beb' for starters don’t even fall for this line. How on earth can someone text or call you only during lunch hours and you fail to see the danger in it? Maybe I am too sceptical to see the love in it but this is a total rip off. If you’re philanthropic enough to take your lady out for lunch that’s fine but when a pattern is developed from this gentlemanly act, then you need to be keen before you end up feeding some conniving woman in the name of a girlfriend for a whole semester with your hard earned money.
 
She doesn’t introduce you to her friends
They can disagree with me, but research has shown that ladies love discussing their men with their fellow girlfriends especially during their free time. If she doesn’t feel you, she will rarely mention your name in their chats leave alone flaunting how you are a prince charming. This will play out right on face when you coincidentally meet her friends and you realize how blank they will look when you’re being introduced as the significant other. Bottom line you are just being used as a walking ATM and the introduction is just done to sooth your dismay. Run while you still have the energy. You might not see it coming but the signs are written in block letters.
 
She always creates excuses whenever you want to spend time together
They say love is blind, and I take this literal meaning to be very correct. When men are in love even flimsy excuses given to them by their ladies pass the truth meter with flying colours. This is the status quo we need to snap out from. Yes there exist valid excuses, but there those circumstances where excuses are used as a tool to keep men away. She will always be by your side like a shadow when she knows you’re loaded with cash only for her to start avoiding you when your account hits the bedrock. If that’s what they call being in love then I will take a jet to Mars when that time for courtship comes.

My friend is just one among many campus men who suffer silently in the name of being ‘in love’. But today I am going to leave this free advice “If she doesn't feel you, she ain't worth your money” and “Mwanaume ni madeni…” so quit that relationship before you start paying debts you borrowed to buy kebabs for her during the lunch breaks.