SWIPE CARDS, A GOOD MOVE

By Stanley Kimuge

So the linchpin of campus student survival, HELB, is going digital. Protests have ensued over this move. Apparently, the swipe cards are supposed to micro-manage your finances. I have some reasons why I think it should be adopted.

Yes, nowadays, everything requires us to be tech-savvy, from digital pupils to the smart cards. The architect of the cards must be a man. He definitely had the interests of campus dudes at heart.

You see he must have thought about merciless gold diggers. I am talking about those skirt wearers who are not kind to your account. They will befriend you when your wallet is fat and vanish when your bank grows thinner.

From where I come, we loathe ticks. They are the worst vampires. A medic will tell you that some carry diseases. If the cow doesn't graze, it will sleep forever. Just like this poor creature, my friend missed last semester’s exams. He had bowed to persistent badgering from his fleet of "girlfriends".

I know that smart cards will never be accorded a red carpet by the Campus Drinkers Association. They are the most charitable people in the world. I mean they can buy you a whole crate of dop. But we should forgive them for cohabiting with debts at the end of the semester.

I won't bother to write about this chap who bought a flat screen. As if it was necessary in the curriculum. Poor lad, a stupendous digital thief vanished with it. He will miss the not-so-popular Mexican soaps. Maybe, he should join the bandwagon and throw his weight behind the swipe cards.